Not what I expected

So, this was my first time. I figure that 3.5gs would have sent me into another realm, but that wasn’t the case. I just felt high. Now don’t get me wrong it was most certainly a good time, but that wasn’t my intentions behind going through this experience. 

The last few months I have been struggling with some serious depression and anger. I’ve started mediating, praying, and looking deeper into myself to see what I can work on and I have started to see those changes happen slowly. However, I’ve most certainly hit a wall. I haven’t given up or anything like that and I never will, but the frustration is there. I’ve been reading all over these forums and researching on my own to make sure that this may be a possible avenue for positive change within myself. From what I’ve read it is. 

Enough of the boring stuff... I didn’t separate from my body or see any aliens or anything crazy like that. But I was able to think deep within myself. If that makes sense. I guess the main question would be... did I learn anything? YES, we’ve all got a little darkness in us. It’s better to accept it instead of hate it. Hate breeds fear and fear drains our energy. It takes us away from what’s truly important (I say we but I mean me. I’m assuming there are others like myself that have thought of this at some point, or something similar). The quicker that I can accept what I am is the second that I can be “allowed” to take my next steps in spiritual enlightenment. I also learned that depression isn’t something that should be considered negative. It’s more of something like a pain receptor. It lets you know that something is wrong... mentally. Kind of like touching a hot stove. Happiness is short term. It’s better to try to achieve love with ourselves and once that’s accomplished you’re able to love others. The last and most important piece that I learned was everything is connected but at the same time nothing is. 

I definitely want to have that crazy trip. I made a tea and eat all the mushrooms as well. Any tips on how to make it deeper into the rabbit hole next time? More shrooms? Try to find something stronger then cubes? Or try something else? From the description of a level 1 that’s pretty much all that happened. Any suggestions are welcome! Thanks!