So to set up the scene, this is a few years ago now junior year of college. I had never done any kind of substances or medicinal herbs previously until this year of college when I tried cannabis for the first time, which I thoroughly enjoyed. Anyways this is almost 6 months later and I’ve now smoked about 4-5 times with varied lightly psychedelic experiences when I decide to try LSD Pretty much on a whim.
Without knowing much other than what little I knew from various pop culture, one of my roommates at the time came home to our house and says I have ACID. I’m talking to him about it trying to learn what it’s all about and he says it’s a lot like cannabis but lasts much longer like 12 hours. Without actually looking into it I agree to do it with him and one other friend that evening., looking back on this I feel incredibly ignorant and naive. But anyways, so later that evening were hanging out in the living room and we’re talking about how much you’re supposed to take. My roomate says you’re a pretty big guy you should take 3 (these were double dropped sweet tarts).., I didn’t know the dosage at the time and even if I had it wouldn’t have meant anything to me because I was just trusting my friend knew what to do. So I take them and 5 minutes go by and I’m like, I don’t feel anything so he says here take two more. So now I’ve taken 5 200ug candies (1000ug Dear God)!
So here’s the gist of what happened as much as I can recall years later.., which is surprisingly a whole lot given just how profound and meaningful the experience was. Well, for the next 24 hours I experienced so so many things. As soon as we dropped my two friends disappeared to the 3rd floor of our home and I never saw them again for the duration of my trip.
About 10 minutes after the second dose, 15 minutes total, I was definitely feeling really weird. My body started to have this growing feeling kind of in my abdomen/chest that kept growing and started to feel like buzzing (I would now describe this as a type of anxiety). The buzzing spread slowly from my chest outward filling my entire body until every inch of me felt electrified. This was a completely novel experience and so dang extreme, I began to feel more and more alienated from my body until I jumped up out of the chair that I had been enduring this experience in. As soon as my feet hit the ground everything went really weird, like everything looked and felt slanted and it felt like I was drunk. About 5 minutes of trying and successfully meandering the first floor I begin to get a hang of moving around but it’s surprisingly disorienting and I’m starting to question what LSD does exactly. For the next 10 minutes probably I enter a stream of thoughts that are just like flow of consciousness and I’m starting to feel really really weird. For the next hour or so I go through every possible emotion up and down and I’m literally starting to understand insanity.., talk about exercising the mind. I’m starting to feel really worn out in my head and I’m wondering when will this stop and regretting not being more responsible and looking into this.
I then decide to take a hit out of a bowl because I like cannabis and how it has made me feel in the past but holy shit I did not expect what happened next. I hit the bowl and up until this point I was feeling drunk like but not experiencing any visuals or anything like that, when all of a sudden I swear it was like slow motion, the few moments it took to inhale all of a sudden something just clicked in my brain that was also tied strongly to a very strange feeling where like I twisted my face and before my eyes the outside neighbors yard and house turned into a ridiculous cartoon land, like fully in the most intense colors and shapes and characters. Well I had never experienced anything like this or had any inclination something like this was possible. I commenced to have a complete freak attack and like ran out of the room but was seeing just a tunnel type effect of ever changing scenes and symbols and objects and entitites and all of this is being experienced with immense emotional states.
I got into another room where I kind of just thought I was completely insane and my mind couldn’t help but go to fear. Well I resisted the fear and tried to look away from the darkest corners of my mind but this was absolute torment. This went on for what must have been hours where I slowly in waves progressed further and further into despair and lunacy but also with a shred of direction and hope/courage. I’m a very catholic religious person at this time and I’m 100% convinced I’m dying or that I am already dead., for the life of me that’s all I can recall to describe what that felt like.. dying or being dead. I can’t recall much what I was seeing because I was so enthralled in thought and feeling, but this is all taking place in a bright white walled main room.
Eventually I come to a point where this is it this is death and there’s nothing I can do anymore I can’t stop it. I’m an idiot. My friends and family will be so disappointed. I’m scared. But I can’t resist this amount of pain I’m in so I let go. I let go, and the relief is eternal, infinite, and orgasmic. I experience illumination. I leave insanity as I ask with infinite intensity who am I, what am I? And all sense of myself and my name, my sense of self is shown to me., and it’s unthinkable that I ever could have believed that. That person is completely erased as I leave identification with that and merge with what is obviously my truest self, my highest self. The self that is the same in all living beings and which makes all material and immaterial, all consciousness, all existence, all divine. Over what was an eternity I returned to my eternal dwelling place where I exist and always exist, where there is no time, completely timeless. The feeling can only be described as eternal bliss, with a conviction that this is realer than real, how could I ever go back to that other place. This is my eternal dwelling place and the only place I want to be. It’s ineffable there is no way to communicate this real-ist or highest reality.
From here all knowledge or all knowing was known. It’s apparent all things are animated by love. That there is an infinitude of dimensions, beings realities, stacked on top of one another. Time is an illusion. I experience Christ nature and it is revealed to me that i am Christ but that we are all Christ. I am returned to my body but remain completely wrapped up and embraced by the eternal cosmic center of all reality which exists with every atom of all beings. The ONENESS I am experiencing with all things is incredible and an absolute bewilderment.
After returning from what was an eternity I am no longer the person I was just hours ago, I have completely lost touch with any sense of self outside of Christ nature. It will take me weeks to come back to any semblance of normal reality. For the next 10 hours I experience incredible enlightenment I have god like powers or intuition and clarity where the shrouds that exist all around us are torn down. I see the world in an entirely new light. I understand and in fact am all people from all time. I now understand all kinds of disorders and I have immense sympathy and profound understandings of others. I am convinced I have been chosen for a divine purpose but I don’t quite know what that is other than to be eternally truly present and demonstrate this intense awareness with others in order to inspire them and bring this out of others, to demonstrate love for all, and to be able to do obviously point out the corruption and paint a clear picture.
When my trip wears off it’s been about 24 hours and I haven’t slept yet. Everything appears to have an aura and a deep beauty. When I examine anything closely it’s made of infinite perfect spirals that are made of crazy color like plasma. I have the ability to think lucidly and I’m seeing intense images of the microscopic and macroscopic. For weeks after this I’m like an alien to people. Heck I’m an alien to myself. It will take me many years to integrate what I experienced and to grow into a more normal humble person who now knows to just love as much as you can, to smile, to not stress it all so much. To realize in this form I can’t fathom what really existing is like., and for now to be grateful that the divine has chosen to cradle me in this very protected and limited form, that it is also my own choice and doing. I am now completely consumed with spirituality and my spiritual practice., and often times ups and Downs with confronting truths and not living in ignorance.
I am eternally grateful for the experience. And I am a completely different person and being from that single experience although I now trip and enter many different realms and experiences semi regularly and am completely given in to live music festivals and art., there’s nothing better than getting in touch with your higher self than front and center at your favorite show (bassnectar for me) and getting down and getting there on whatever medicine does it for you.
Live consciously in the present moment as best you can. Love yourself deeply and you will know love with others. Don’t stress just be kind. The material is an illusion and doesn’t hold a candle to what awaits or what already is and always has been. Music is magic. Dance. Your only job is to recognize your true nature. Christ nature.
Thank you for reading ✌️💜🌀