Huge san Pedro cutting and syrian rue

 Silent darkness in my apartment. Girlfriend was fast asleep next to me. 40 minutes in it hit so hard all at once that all I could do was drunkenly walk 2 feet to bed. I instantly saw a white human height orb running through the apartment. My girlfriends brother killed himself next door 2 days before I didn't think about this at the time just couldn't believe what I was seeing over and over it flew by. When I couldn't take that any more I looked up and the intensity went way up I was scared as hell as the ceiling turned into night sky and the walls kept coming apart in fractals and spinning around and disapearing . my soul was totally out of my body and was some how coming apart in fractals and floating around the room.  The first 2 hrs (just a guess) were so intense I was scared as hell. But the visions were the same for the whole 9 hr. trip .look up saw night sky with wall fractals looked down saw running white orb. No waves of intensity like normal mescaline experience. Just 9 hrs of super intense visuals. No spiritual or emotional growth noted like san pedro always does to me. For spiritual growth I would recommend not taking rue with San Pedro. Wow what a trip