first trip, cured depression

so when I first took shrooms, I was in a very dark place for a few years, Its hard to explain exactly what it was as people can't comprehend it, but I would watch myself die over and over in my head, I was a emotionless depressed robot with no will of my own thoughts, my depression was so bad I was "Spiriling" you begin to lose control of your own throughts and can't think for yourself, as well I'd here voices from time to time, and all color in the world had faded to a dimmer greyer color. for awhile I was going to do dmt to try to cure this as the doctors only made it worse with medicine and I was getting curios on tripping for a cure. when I realized dmt was to much and to hard to get. I did research about shrooms and although at the time I couldn't find a lot. I just had hope. but I wasn't ready for what the shrooms really did. so I was depressed for 2 years straight with only bumps of happiness every week or so. but while I was tripping, my percpective on the world was so beautiful, I just felt like the universe was talking to me,  but not words just sending telepathic information in the form of ideas, these ideas where that the world is so beautiful, and that i'll be okay. all the colors that were faded had come back, I no longer saw myself dying in my head, my suicidal tendencys dropped, I no longer could even imagine hurting myself, the idea of it would make me cringe and shutter where as it could have been considered becoming an addiction before and the best part of all, I wasn't able to be sad/depressed for more than a week. I apologize for such a sad post, but the beauty that shrooms has brought me is something that I can never stop being thankful for, because these lil things saved me when nothing else could. and as well shrooms for mental illnesses is becoming more prevelant of an idea.