2g - A new level with new challenges

This takes me to my current 2g experimentation which I plan on holding on to for the next year.  Immediately, over the last couple of sessions I am finding at this level it is almost an absurd idea to try and capture notes or key learnings while each hour progresses.  It still follows the same pattern of 45min onset but I have noticed consistently it last an hour longer than what I have felt from the micro dose and 1g sessions.  Specifically, I have been able to go into public usually around the 3hr mark from ingestion and now it is closer to 4 hrs before I even feel comfortable with interacting with others.  I really have surrender with 2g and even verbalize it to secure the commitment because there are moments where I almost lose myself completely to the experience which becomes frightening.  It is strange because even with all the practice leading up to this point the fear is still there which I appreciate but also makes it tougher to proceed each time.

I can now more freely go into clear thought bubbles of ideas with eyes closed an no longer worry about my surroundings and there is freedom there.  My thoughts almost always go to species level and global level considerations for our situation and what needs to be done to improve it.  Its like once you get through the phase shift at the 1hr mark you break through the clouds into complete clarity of mind and ideas are cohesive, expansive, and a high degree of association begins to connect freely and rapidly.  In my 1g sessions I could capture and write down these ideas but so far at 2g it is happening much too quickly to capture concretely and to actually force yourself to capture those ideas creates a type of uncomfortableness that in itself becomes an obstacle that takes you away from the whole reason you visit this space to begin with.  Almost like capturing the ideas into pen and paper is counter to the speed at which your mind is free associating and it cannot do that AND also write these ideas down.  If you do succeed in writing down the ideas and then you come down back to baseline and read it there is a lack of luster in what you might have captured vs. why you had captured it in the peak of the experience.  Here is an example: 

This last weekend at the height of the trip I finally pushed myself to write down this which was extremely difficult, my breathing was heavy, my eyes were struggling to focus, and to guide my hand with a pencil to write the actual words felt like I was traversing a mountain.  Here is what I wrote: 

0. Heal your Pain (take psychedelic)

1. Improve O2 (you physical fitness as well as taking care of plants)

2. No Sugar, Alcohol, Bread

3. Drink Water

4. 1 meal/day

5. When you are tired lift something heavy

6. Break Habits

7. Generate Love

Now when I read this I'm like what a simple list this is not anything profound.  But in the moment I was capturing this, my mind was racing around all the information we are getting bombarded with from marketing campaigns, news, data.  It is becoming harder to tell the difference between what you really need vs. what propaganda is telling you is needed.  That took me down many thought experiments on what is needed to establish a clear foundation of basic principles for myself and discard belief on what I have been told.  When I asked myself to distill those principles down to the most basic guidelines then these came to me as easy as something feeding me this information to write down directly without even question as the obvious answer.

One other thing about 2g doses.  It is better and more clear when you have not eaten for 12hrs.  Also, the comedown is real and I had to rest the entire next day and even took an afternoon nap for a couple of hours and then went to bed early just to recuperate.  I need to do some research here but I am envisioning a saturation of serotonin levels with psilocybin and the following day you have depleted your natural levels as my mood was not bad but I was impacted by coming back to my more closed off mindset and that worries me.  In other words, I think there is a cost to high doses with the exhaustion vs. the 1g or microdosing but maybe that is the price to pay for new ideas.

Finally, I don't like saying this is just about new ideas, those are generated naturally.  For me this is about seeing if there are lessons for me to continue to learn about myself that may translate to others.  A key thing that is painfully obvious is that we would all be treating each other and the earth better if we all had micro dosed mushrooms.  There is something that happens where you begin to see the "awe" in the world around you and also feel more of how your body is responding to your routines that without mushrooms you are just closed off too.  Its like a tool to add-on to your current software that without it you don't even know what exists but with it opens a vast world of self healing and learning that you otherwise cannot get a handle on.  Its strange because I am now seeing the disparity between myself when I baseline vs. when I am experiencing the complexity of the world with psilocybin.  

I will come back and edit some of this just a stream of thought I wanted to capture for myself.

Thanks,

LessonsofYawns@gmail.com