I only share this almost parody of sorts to convey how I was experiencing the world at the 4th hour of a 1g session which is essentially back to baseline with maybe a different outlook on the world. Also, this is me typing on my phone my stream of thought consistently and without edit over the course of what I think is 10 minutes or so:
"Standing in line at the local Michaels. There are at least 30 customers waiting to checkout. The euphoria of the purchase is palpable for the Parents while their kids are screaming for attention. "Next in line!" yells the Cashier as an automated voice says "Register 9" and then again "Register 4." On the sidelines, the observer, "Register 6, Register 1, Register 4."Is this Chaos or Order? Maybe Chaos of the emotions for choosing what to buy and why "Mommy," with the order and efficiency to form a line so that everyone can buy sequentially. I like to think this life is perfect "Register 6, Register 4," but I have to wonder if the acute emotional dopamine bump for each purchase is our intended destiny within this experience. Is the suffering so bad that we are like addicts looking for the next fix with each item we purchase just to get through the day? Maybe it's not that simple. Maybe the material object separate from us from which we can create and impose upon it subjective meaning properly defines our motives more completely than any other method yet known. We are overweight physically and atrophied mentally in the middle-class. We are the COGS for the entire organism to maintain habit and move objects to the religious status of cultural priorities. Are the objects traps? They can hold meaning, intention, and subjective value. It makes us feel good when we can give objects to others, manifesting our goodwill and empathy in a visual way. Our kids, our beginning selves in this world are mesmerized by the objects that are available at the local Michaels. Why? The simplicity of the plastic squirrel on the shelf is orders of magnitude reduced in complexity versus a living squirrel. How is it that kids are not equally enamored with the live squirrel in nature as they are with the fake squirrel on the shelf? Are we not educating early enough the complexity of nature and showing how we share genetic code with all living things and atoms with all things. How the things we purchase are the most simple derivatives of extracted earth material and synthetic hazardous waste. What is the culmination of this escalation? "Register 2" time for me to checkout."