So I decided to take about 2 or 3 grams of dried mushrooms. I smudged the room with white sage. I did a prayers/chanting ritual to set an intention and get into the right mindset so I can allow the mushroom to guide me. I perform this ritual to establish trust in the universe and the experience and to cleanse negative energies/raise my vibration. After eating them whole, I sat and meditated for about 20 minutes. About 20 minutes in, I look at the walls, and the detail in the little bumps and texturization is super clear and noticable. At this point I can't tell if the change in my headspace is more due to the mushrooms or the meditative breathing. After 10 or 15 mins more of meditating, it really comes on, and it gets to the point where its come on so strong I'm wondering how it could come on any stronger. I feel just absolutely bizzare... I dont know if this makes any sense, but a lot of people talk about how they see tribal or ancient patterns, and I maybe saw a little bit of that when I closed my eyes, but more than seeing them, I felt them. Like, these patterns aren't seen but they are felt. I dont know how that makes any sense, but that's how it seemed. After a while, I am in a sort of awe or shock, like "whoa, I really got myself into this one right now didn't I?". I feel my sense of reality and ego kind of fading away into the rest of the world/the experience. I move my hands across my arms and legs, and it feels as if it's someone else's hands who I dont know doing this. This freaked me out a little bit, but I knew they really were mine. I kind of felt as my ego was going away for a bit that what I was experiencing was super vulnerable to anything and everything. It felt like there could have been spirits or entities or mushroom beings or something floating around, like there was possibly a mysterious, strange, alien presence, but I think it was just happening because I'm percieveing things differently, and the senses were just triggering some defenses to the strange experience. After I realized "oh crap this is coming on" I kept telling myself to submit fully to the experience and let the mushrooms take control. As I was sitting there smiling, once again, I felt like my face was turning into a sinister totem pole entity, like I perceived this strange mask being placed over my head that I could see with my eyes closed.
I eventually out of that realized that I am me, and even in all of this chaos or dissolution, I can find myself and stay grounded, and this felt empowering, but a while later the mushroom really kicked in. I was sure I was going to vomit, but I didnt. I once again told myself "submit to the experience", and I lied on the floor and felt/saw all of these fractal, tunnel escapes with my eyes closed. I thought a lot about life, like what do I really want, where am I going, reconciling with my past, stuff like that. But the one thing that for some reason I am really curious about is this one particular pattern I saw on the floor. You know how in theater and drama, they use that symbol of the two masks next to each other, one happy and one sad. I saw those, but a lot of them, oriented in a sort of grid on the floor, and they were shifting, like the happy one turned into a sad one and vice versa. And I'm not sure if this was the case, but they seemed to be aware I was looking at them. I have never done DMT, but I know people who have used DMT have claimed to see jester entities that are aware you are there, and this just really felt a lot like that description. Like, they knew I was partly afraid of them, so they were angry, and then when I stopped being afraid, they smiled, as if to say "yeah, good, you're learning". I wonder if these things are related to jesters or whatnot, it would be interesting to hear someone's opinion on this who has used DMT or had a similar mushroom experience. They are a vaguely similar molecule after all. What do you think? Can the patterns on mushrooms form into these awareness that are sort of like analogues of the DMT entities or what is going on?