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My level 5 trip
Not what I expected
To start with I weight about 240 lbs and I took 45 grams of fresh Golden Teachers. This was my first experience with mushrooms - unless you are counting something tiny and noneffective that I took in my teens.
Having a family I was a bit pressured to take them while my children are at school. The last thing I need them to see is daddy tripping. That morning while I was showering I noticed that the word "Joy" wasn't spelled out in the shower the way it usually is (It takes some imagination but the curved hook on the shower caddy makes the "J" my wifes hair bands make the "O" and the way the razor hangs on two small hooks makes the "Y"). The razor was moved and knowing I was going to take the Golden Teachers that day I thought oh boy the word Joy isn't there. I know that sounds superstitious, it is what it is. I came down into the kitchen where the morning was chaotic with a fight with my wife and who knows what else.
I took the fresh mushrooms as soon as I could and I didn't really see anything different or hear anything different my journey was really in reference to my son, ho I do worry about and my wife. My wife, God bless her, does have serious mental issues that are hard to live with. And my son has some anger issues that I don't really know why they are there. I guess environment but after sobbing hard I wrote him two letters he kept one where I told him that I wanted him and another where I said that one day he would be strong, much stronger than me, but for now he is still my son. He's 12 and use to have this thing where he would challenge my wife or myself and it was a real problem. The letter where I told him that I wanted/want him I placed on his bed (it was an awkward thing to do) the other letter was in my bedroom attached to my clipboard. Strangely, after he came home from school he went into my bedroom laid on my bed looking quite happy I hope he read them both, I don't think he could have missed it. His going into my bedroom is very unusual. Since this I can honestly say that there has been less of an issue of challenging either parent.
He still gives me a lot of sarcasm if I tell him to put his shoes in the coat closet but he does do it so...
With my wife I was told, also in a semi awake, semi dream like state, to not give her a hard time. My wife does some things that are very off the wall and I swear she does some stuff just to irritate me. But when I went back to this voice and said are you kidding me? What about this and that and that? It said all that I could say was to say "Stop being mean to me."
And you know what? It worked. She is still really in need of help but now we certainly fight a whole lot less... I can't say anything! Now when I look at her now I feel a bit sorry for her and try to help.
It ain't easy but things have certainly calmed down. I keep hoping she will find some medicine that works for her.
I was also told to not look back in my life which I do and I was also told that in 500 years I will be as nameless as a nameless gnat. Ouch, but true. Ego breaking for sure but true. All of the people who were alive 500 years ago and came and went who had things that were important to them it's all gone. So I worry less, it's all going to be gone anyway.
The other thing/thought I had was don't worry about time anymore it just take what it takes. I hope I can do that, I am trying now.
I think that's it. I hope I didn't talk your ear off. That's my story. And many thanks to folks here on the board that helped me by answering my questions.
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