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First Time DMT Sub Break Through
Terrifying Death Experience
32 year old male. Very experienced psychedelic user, most experienced with mushrooms and LSD. I’ve been wanting to try DMT since 2007 after I read Strassman’s book on his research with it. I had the opportunity but chickened out at the last second. I always regretted it and DMT never came around my way after that.
So this early this spring I started doing high dose mushroom trips once a month. High dose meaning between 5 and 10 grams each time. I had many amazing experiences. A friend just so happened to be able to get it for me. So I got some, planning to do it out of a dab rig with some friends. Once I actually had possession of it, however, temptation and curiosity got the best of me and I ended up trying it out last Sunday. At the end of the night I would be puking, shaken to the core of my being, and texting my friend how I’m never doing dmt again.
I can’t say how much DMT I smoked this night as I didn’t have a proper scale, so I eyeballed it. My first go through, I put a very small amount, maybe 10mg, in between some weed and tobacco in a bong and took a small hit. I immediately had some light visuals, even some of the same exact visuals I get on shrooms, before it all quickly faded away maybe two minutes later.
I thought that went well so I loaded up a bigger dose and threw some ash and weed on top of it. I took a big hit and lied back on my couch. Again, I had visuals comparable to those I see on mushrooms, only this time they were more intense and last longer. About halfway through this experience, I closed my eyes and had some rather odd closed eye visuals. So I saw, in black and white, a couple leaving a large store or a hotel possibly. They were exiting through one of those revolving doors. I was looking down on them from above. I remember they looked up at me, and then time begin to pause and skip. I would see little freeze frames of their movements. They were terrifying and rushing to get out of the hotel, all the while looking back at me. For some reason I realized they could somehow see me, and that also time was fucked up for them too and they were freaking out because of all of this. It was bizarre. Then I came down and everything quickly faded back to baseline.
So, still feeling good from my experiences with DMT so far, I decided to take TWO big hits. So I took one, no problrem. Held it. Then immediately took another.
In this moment I had a thought: “Hey, you’ve heard that if you take two hits you should take three instead, so maybe take three?”
But I decided one hit from this stuff basically gave me light visuals and I felt completely fine otherwise, and then convinced myself I’d be just fine taking two hits. I didn’t want to get too fucked up. I didn’t want to break through until I was with my friends. One hit was cake walk; two hits would be fine.
So bam I took the second hit, held it in for as long as I could, and then blew it out. A car drove by my open living room window, and the sound turned digital sounding, got stuck on echo, and then slowly began to decay. It was crazy. I knew something was different this time. So then the visuals began to ramp up. Everything went silent, like the sound was sucked completely out of reality. This freaked me out. I closed my eyes and my vision was consumed by vibrant colors and patterns, even patterns I’ve seen on mushrooms, but this was crystal clear, high definition, see it all type of shit. The visuals got more intense. I began hearing high pitched noises that sounded synthetic or digital. This really freaked me out. It felt as though reality was a program, and that it was overloaded and crashing. It felt like I broke reality and was witnessing what happens when reality needs a reboot.
My sense of self was being washed away at an incredibly fast rate. This was hard to handle, even having had experienced ego death on shrooms a few times. I found myself reminding myself I took a drug, and that I would be okay. I remember being ultra aware of the little bit of Self I still had and guarding it, refusing to let it go.
Next I find myself waking up in a strange, futuristic/alien room. There is computer machinery everywhere, in fact it feels as if I am part of it or at least plugged into it somehow. I feel as though I died and I am witnessing what happens in between. At this moment it felt 100% as though I broke reality, died, and now I was here, inbetween lives. In this weird computer machine place. At this point I see a humanoid figure. I remember looking at the curves of his face, how pale his skin was, and how soft it looked. Dude looked real is what I’m saying. Unlike any previously encountered visual of any kind on anything else ever before. Then I saw another one of these beings off to the left.
I then got the impression that this being was a technician of some kind. I had mistakenly woken up in this place even though I was not dead yet. It was this dudes job to catch those occurances, fix everything, and send the person back. So what happened next was the freakiest thing that’s ever happened. The dude unplugged me. What I saw in my vision was what you see when you unplug any tv like that. Everything went black.
This felt real. It felt like I was unplugged like a machine, then plugged back in. My mind, sense of self, and the normal 3D physical world I live in all slowly booted back up, loading different parts at a time. Once I was fully back I ran to the bathroom and couldn’t stop puking. I felt like I experienced death and it felt bizarre and strangely digital and machine like. It was the worse feeling ever. All of it. It was terrible. I texted my friend and said I was throwing all of my dmt away and never doing it again.
After a few days, I’ve decided that I definitely didn’t have a break through, and I want to, so someday soon I am going to venture in the dmt space again and hopefully have a better go of it. I am terrified, though, so it’ll take some courage.
Sorry for spelling I’ll check it later
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