4g After a ten+ year break!!! :)

To set the story correctly, I've not done this in over ten years.....or more..... by myself in a new place I'm living alone ='s Magnificent!

I like to meditate with binural beats, and blah, blah, blah. holotropic breathing, etc...

So, took my dosage, not sure what I was going to expect until it happened.  On empty stomach 15-25 minutes to know something was about to go down, and was looking forward to it!

Started off kinda heavy on the body load, like I felt partially crippled walking a bit, and had to force myself to walk straight.  I was actually putting together shelving at the beginning and had to stop because well, I couldn't stop laughing and was starting to forget what I was trying to accomplish.  The body load was a bit much, and I felt like I wanted to just lay down and contemplate.  I was intending on a semi-self searching spiritual trip.  What I got was....well a first time connection with the universe.  I had tried to inflate an air mattress (don't have my new bed in the house yet).  Found out the inflation machine was broken.  I thought to myself, no way in hell was I going to be able to blow into this air mattress for days, and overwork myself while full on tripping balls!  I didn't want to exert the energy that was needed, and wanted to put in on reserve for the trip itself.  I had the intentions of leaving this planet to see where I would end up.

Fractal world became slightly apparent during open eye, walls breathing, and two floating entities that were not fully formed.  I decided to lay on the airless air mattress-this was actually comfortable with the comforter as my bed.  I played around a bit looking for the perfect meditation music. I found it.  As I start the music, my mind is racing, I can hear the entire world speaking-just my neighbors.  Mind was racing back and forth about everyone but myself.  I told everyone in my mind, that it was time for me.....for me to die....and I did....

As I lay on my back getting deep into the music, I go into trance state.  Eye's half open and half closed...eventually they close all the way, I've done this before while meditating...Laying on my back getting deeper into the music, my eyes are fully closed.  The closed eye visual were epic patterns, that eventually turned into machine gear-like patterns, then into some patterns, then more and more.  Almost as if these patterns were just screens I was going through with my closed eye vision.  As this is happening, my body starts to die...from my toes to my fingertips, staring outwards until it reaches my face, and it is filled with incredible warmth.  The physical feeling is as if your muscles are tightening to the point of immobility.  (But this is not a fear full process, because I am allowing this to happen.)  Thoughts racing from loneliness, to anger, to .....love.  Once my body died, I became all and nothing at the same time.  I realized that I will never die and I will never live.  Energy cannot die or be alive, it exists and does not exist at the same time.  I became everyone and everything at once.  I became you, I became me, I became the universe-(I realize how nuts this sounds but just go with me).  Once I became everything, I realized that time does not exist except at the lowest form of consciousness(which we currently exist everyday).  Once I was turned into energy, time stopped, almost as if nothing happened, and everything happened.  Then it hit me......Love....I felt the most intense love I have ever felt in my entire life...words cannot/will not describe.  The closes thing I can say is that I became the emotion of love, the entire love of the universe, and it was so beautiful that tears were like rivers coming down my face, and each drop was filled with love.  It felt so good that I thanked the universe......unfortunately, it did not last as long as I had hoped.  The out of body experience, is not that bull crap that people say you see yourself when you leave your body....I think that those descriptions are what people who have never left their own bodies, tend to think what happens.

The duration was 4-6 hours...The death peak was about 25 minutes, the exact time of the meditation trac....I'm trying to do a once a month spiritual connection and will slightly increase dosage.....4g's next will be 5gs.   Until next time my fellow mushmongers!