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Trip Journal 7-18-18
3.5g -- Positive Experience
This trip report is taken directly from my journal before, during, and after the trip. I was alone (wife and child were out of the city, and I needed something spiritual to get back into my positive mindset) .
Backstory: I'm a Young Adult Literacy Instructor that works with youth ages 17-24. I help them get their high school equivalency diplomas... they're awesome, but they're also A LOT of work... I also JUST had my first child, so I was ending my paternity leave (thank you, New York), and I was feeling depressed about going back to work / leaving my child.
I appreciate you all, and I appreciate this community. Thank you for the support, and I hope you enjoy!
I've gotten in a work out this morning, cleaned the house as best I could, some great meditation last night, have all my positive energy item out on the table, and I'm journaling (obviously).
I've eaten an eighth, I'm about to smoke a bowl, the energy is right, and I'm ready to ask my spirit guides / ancestors / the Universe what it wants of me and what my purpose may be.
Oh yea, and haven't drank or smoke cigarettes in three days -- today will make it four. Congratulations.
On a more saddening note, N***'s (**my wife's**) uncle, O*** T******, passed away this morning, but i DO and MUST say that he passed with grace, and his final days were that of strength and wisdom. Rest in Peace, good sir!
I am so thankful for life itself, specifically my life with my beautiful, kind, thoughtful, caring wife, and our funny, beautiful, loving baby girl! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all that you do, N*** -- you're the best mother and wife, and I'm so happy that L*** has you in her life!
I'm currently an hour into my trip -- I was reading letters I had written to my wife... Letters of gratitude and thanks... I was crying hysterically. They were tears of appreciation and love. I love my wife and my amazing daughter VERY DEARLY.
I'm also sitting here now realizing that what I was expecting / so afraid to face was MYSELF! MY ANXIETY! I've forgotten / sometimes forget to let the LOVE IN... Remember to LET IT GO... LET THE NEGATIVE GO... and LET THE LOVE OVERFLOW INTO YOUR HEART AND THROUGHOUT YOUR ENTIRE MIND, BODY, and SOUL!!
You're an absolutely AMAZING human being! You are a HERO to many, a role model to ALL, a source of advice to some, and the eternal soul of your wife and daughter!
YOU ARE DOING GREAT, so let everything go that's ever hurt you or pained you or made you feel as though you are not enough -- you are a great friend, a great son, a great teacher, a great person, and VERY IMPORTANTLY, a GREAT HUSBAND, and a GREAT FATHER!
Remember to breathe and walk lightly. You are a servant of the Universe, and your duty is to only exist, but exist in the light og yourself and the very LOVE of the UNIVERSE.
Now, I'm going to lay down, close my eyes, and enjoy some awesome music because it's a beautiful Wednesday, I have NOTHING to do, nothing to worry about, and I deserve this.
Also, you're a really cool, funny, handsome mother f**ker!
J***** P*** H****
aka: Dadjoo / WorkDoodler
UPDATE: I listened to music.. relaxed, and went inward
OH! Umm... I'm trying to think of how to word it...
THIS IS the spiritual journey!! LIFE!!
Through eating shrooms, I was looking for a "Spiritual Journey," and I now realize that our lives ARE the spiritual journeys! You are currently living your spiritual journey.
You're living it... the pain, the suffering, the anger, the LOVE, the happiness, the joy, the laughter, the feeling, the emotions, the friendships, the family, the loss, the grief, the everything -- you are living it, and it is part of your journey.
Remember to love yourself, love others, love unconditionally, love passionately, love everyone and everything -- flaws and ALL!
**and now, at the bottom of the journal, it says: "Reminder: Buy a Bruce Lee book! OH... and be like water..."**
Be a Kind Person.
Do Kind Things.
Help others help themselves.
Help in general -- i.e. help a friend move... help a fellow human being
Enjoy the Stars.
FORGIVE -- others AND YOURSELF.
SUCCEED AFTER FAILING!
Also, I think we're ALL still just children -- our souls that is...
Maybe the other beings ARE just "adults"! We have to LEARN FOR OURSELVES!
Be PATIENT -- again, with others AND OURSELVES!
Help humanity love themselves again -- build confidence!
Keep writing, keep drawing, keep loving art and music and boxing!
You're a GREAT TEACHER AND ROLE MODEL... Keep being YOU!
Keep preaching motivation and love and self-love and journaling and drawing and story-telling!
Also, be proud of where you come from, where you've been, where you are NOW, what your future still holds, where you're GOING, and what will come in the end.
Also, for God's sake, please remember you're only 30! Remember you're only HUMAN! And remember that you just want kindness -- you're a good-hearted person! STAY KIND!
UPDATE: Again, I stopped writing and went inward.
Life is just this journey we take -- whether it be on a dirt path, no path, a golden path, a sad path, a happy path, and path, all paths!
And we meet these amazing people on and along the way, and they mold us and shape us and love us, and we mold and shape and love THEM, and you are forever bonded... your souls are forever a piece of one another for the rest of time... for the ALWAYS BEING... glowing as souls or dancing as beings in another time / dimension / plane of existence / just being ENERGY and one with the Universe... yes, THAT bonded!!
Just in the pure being of having MET ONE ANOTHER!
THAT is your impact! THAT is existence -- just the unbelievable coincedence of randomly meeting someone can have THAT LARGE OF AN IMPACT IN THE WHOLE UNIVERSE and EXISTENCE OF TIME and ULTIMATELY other dimensions on at least SOME VIBRATIONAL LEVEL!!
SHIT!! THAT moment!!
That single moment of meeting someone can change the entire mold of the TTIME / ENERGY / VIBRATION OF THE UNIVERSE!!
Now, Imagine actually HELPING that person you meet... or JUST BEING KIND!!
Multiply THAT times your ENTIRE EXISTENCE!
***Picture / Doodle of fireworks coming out of someone's head***
Additionally, admire people that have been KIND...
ALWAYS (from now on, J***** P*** H****) be the one willing to make amends!
Never hold onto HATE -- GET RID OF IT!!
**accompanied by a drawing of a black hole sucking the word hate into nothingness**
FORGIVE EASILY!... DIFFICULTLY.. QUICKLY... ALWAYS... ALWAYS!! -- OTHER AND YOURSELF!!!
**drawing of a plant with massive roots**
Hell, even if you're being ABDUCTED BY ALIENS, you're even making and impact on THEM!
Boy, N*** was right; it's the medicine.. the hilarious irony of it all!
Just write a book already!
Just a sitcom-esque satirical story of the lives of you, your wife, and your daughter!
I mean, you're kind of RIGHT NOW, aren't you?! Why don't you just publish THIS!? -- Hello people reading this... should I pause for a comedic / ironic / confusing interlude (am I using that word right??)?
Bottom of page: "Pretty crazy to sit here and realize how many pages my mind is filling up right now!"
ANYWAYS! Write a book on the lives of you, your wife and daughter...
ALSO, Do a 23andMe -- buy one for N*** too! As a birthday present!
YES!!! Pretty much THE BEST BIRTHDAY PRESENT EVER!
And PLEASE, for the love of GOD! DO NOT BE A DICKHEAD ON HER BIRTHDAY!... SERIOUSLY!! FUCK!!
Anyways, yea, do the 23andMe, and really try to record your family tree -- that would be a really interesting journey!
AND do the past lives hypnosis session with C*** Mc*** -- THAT would be interesting!
ACTUALLY, just for the record..., do WHATEVER YOU FIND INTERESTING!
And, again, for the record, YOU ARE INTERESTING!
**drawing of "congratulations" in red, blue, and black pen**
*Always keep a RED pen on you!
*Fuck it! Always keep a BLUE pen on you too!
*AND plenty of pens to share with fellow human beings -- even if they don't write... YET!
ALWAYS be open to learning something new... and ALWAYS!! spread knowledge and the LOVE of knowledge to as many people as possible.
Same goes for love, motivation, support, paying it forward, compassion, empathy, kindness, happiness, understanding, and every other great feeling / emotion / smile that you can possibly think of.
I guess what comes from all of this is to just continue being who you are because your existence itself is an absolutely amazing thing...
Love yourself absolutely, and always look at life, others, the world, existence itself through the lens of LOVE... if you do that, I believe that you'll be a much happier person... a much happier soul...
UPDATE: I decided that I needed to take a step outside for a fresh perspective on things.
So, I've now made my way up to the roof... Everything up until this point has been in the apartment -- the COOL, air-conditioned apartment -- the 504 square foot space that contains my entire life's existence for the time being... Sort of... remember, a peice of you is left EVERYWHERE! Everywhere you've been, everyone you've touched...
Anyways, yea, I'm sitting in my chair, getting some sun and some good vitamin D! I'm now enjoying a beer and just relaxing.
ALWAYS let others know how much you APPRECIATE THEM!
I'm coming down, and I'm back on Earth again.. I'm human again...
I think appreciation is the word I'd love to take out of all of this.
I'm enjoying a sunny day on a rooftop in Brooklyn... I'm enjoying my day off with a cool breeze, a drink, some much-needed relaxation, and I couldn't be more appreciative!
Appreciation of that fact I have a beautiful, loving wife -- I love you more than anything.
Appreciation for my beautiful, amazing, loving, happy, healthy baby girl -- you're my world.. you're my life!
Appreciation for the opportunity to LIVE! The opportunity to meet so many king beings.. the opportunity to make an impact.. the opportunity to exist...
Thank you to everyone reading this! I appreciate you, I appreciate life, I appreciate the opportunity that we all have to be a part of this cosmic community!
This was written over the course of a 5-hour-long trip. I hope you enjoyed, and I can't wait for your feedback!
Have a great journey, and please, try to enjoy every moment of it!
WorkDoodler -- check me out on IG if you get a chance!