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first timer

holy f**k.....lol

well first I will add that I am 51, I have done mushrooms before in my teens and 20's and the last time when I was about 32, but never in the shamanic style and always at low doses, always 1 or 2 grams and with my friends out camping or at a music festival. Well about three months ago I was exploring ancient civilisations and started to learn about DMT and other substances that ancient peoples where using to ..."find god" ..."explore consciousness" whatever you want to call it. So I spent some time looking into it and was lead to Terrence Mckenna. Lured by his oratory skills and and passion I decided to try Mushrooms again.

ok, so I went deep....5DGISD, right away as I am already familiar with the low level experience.....I wanted self transforming machine elves....lol. well I guess that this experience being new was hard to quantify....for me, I wasn't sure what to expect and what to do, it was a great feeling, had some visualization but nothing to transforming. Afterwards I was kind of ...yeah that was great but was left wanting for more, so I decided that I needed to up the ante. The next night I did 7.5 grams and at about the 1 hour and twenty minute mark I stepped outside and smoked a small bowl of weed (a couple tokes) went back inside and laid down in the silent darkness....well holy F**k.....lol. It didn't take even a minute....? and I was in the most intense something I had ever experienced. It presented itself in so many different ways but at one point I was laying on a table surrounded by beings I could hardly see because the lighting was so intense, but definitely they were aliens  or elves or ....? they were bathed in intense green light and the only thing I could make out was the top half of their heads that had a whiter light on them that helped make them more visible......they weren't threatening and I didn't feel like I was is any danger so I just surrendered to them....it....?. Then I started getting hit with waves....like I was laying down on a shoreline/beach with the lower half of my body in the water and the water would rush in and cover me and then rush out again, but the waves weren't made of water, they were made of thousands of entities that would wash up onto me and I could see elf faces raging like water in the crest and face of the wave.......it was like they were devouring me and every time the wave would crash into me they would devour a little more until I was in the wave permanently.....they were doing something..... like they were working on every part of my body....this was happening throughout the entire trip but other things were happening at the same time. I went all the way back to my childhood meeting all the people I grew up with along the way saying hello to some and forgive me to others....... 

I did notice also a female entity....not sure If I was communicating with her or not...she presented herself in many different ways....sometimes a beautiful woman....sometimes as a snake(reptile), sometimes as a spider. Not sure If direct communication is possible but with more trips I will get better at exploring the experience. A day later am still trying to quantify all the different things that happened in some way. A couple of times I ran into Terence and he would say.....did I tell you so?....and I would respond and say "yeah, you told me so" and we would giggle, then I would go back to tripping and once and a while he would appear again off to the side and smile and we would giggle some more.....lol

 I am definitely going back for more......it might take a while to get over this first experience with full on hallucinations. I have a hard time believing that we as humans have evolved to the point that we have and this is such huge secret. There IMHO, is no way that early humans who had this kind of experience could have dismissed it as some kind of foley....this was so f**king intense. How can it not transform your understanding or lack thereof of everything. My feeling afterwards is that the trick to making the experience all it can be is to just surrender to its will and let it do what it wants.

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