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Exploring the Texture of Tripping

2.5 g of golden teachers

So this was my first time tripping on mushrooms, I had tripped once before on LSD and have smoked weed daily in the past. This felt like my first real, significant tripping experience. The trip took place over two months ago and in the aftermath of the trip I found myself reading many trip reports on shroomery. 

I tripped with two close friends who I'll name Neal and Ed for the purpose of this report. We decided to eat the mushrooms in the morning before going on a hike in a national park (we were on a road trip at the time) and I think it was impossible for Neal and I to even begin to understand what we were embarking upon when we made the decision to trip weeks before. Ed, on the other hand, had tripped multiple times in the past and therefore had a better idea of what to expect from the experience, and as he admitted later his trip ended up bearing less significance than ours maybe because he has a higher tolerance. 

The theme of my trip was in many ways characterized by texture. When I began to trip I noticed the textures of the clay on the ground sparkling and gaining an iridescent quality, and I began to see matrices form on the mountain faces that surrounded me. The body load was quite bearable but I got the impression that my body had become more fluid. I specifically remember staring at my thumb and noticing the texture of my thumb changing, I'm not sure if this was weather-related because it was raining and my thumbs were pruned or if I was just tripping out lol, probably some of both. 

Anyways, at some point in the trip all three of us had to remain quiet because we found ourselves in a public space (inside a shuttle bus) and we wanted to respect other people's space because there were families on the bus. This was when the peak occurred. During that time in the bus, texture took on a whole new meaning to me as I entered my own headspace and essentially kept every thought to myself. At this point, it felt like THOUGHT THOUGHT THOUGHT THOUGHT THOUGHT all in the span of seconds, my mind was looming larger than ever before. I saw into the texture of what I would now best characterize as the matrix of the universe and the humans surrounding me took on a strange quality as if I were observing my surroundings from an alien perspective. Neal was sitting next to me and must have been having similar realizations because we could just look at each other and say "yeah" in agreement. We were certain we were thinking the same thoughts at the same time--telepathy became conceivable, which I still believe happened because over the course of our friendship we have labored over many of the same ideas together and we share similar values so it makes sense we were having similar realizations. 

In the bus, I became aware of the absurdity of many of the societal patterns we impose upon each other as humans and it became difficult to wrap my head around reintegrating my new thoughts into my sober life since I was being exposed to a texturally different world--the shroom world but also an expanded world less caught up in strictures that I now realize I've bought into quite easily my whole life even if I've always felt in the past that I was ready for a life experience that was large and more rich with meaning. At one point during this silent stretch, it became difficult for me to accept how severely we all treat each other and how often many of us choose to lead our lives in accordance with the expectations of others rather than our own expectations. 

The only person in the bus aside from Neal and Ed who I felt I could really relate to was a young child sitting ahead of me with his family. He was looking out the window at the vast canyons below and all of a sudden exclaimed, "We're all going to die!" to which Neal, Ed and I all laughed. It was a funny moment but also one of complete acceptance--yes, we're all going to die. And that thought was pure relief. We're dying and so we must live as fully as we can. We must take in the whole texture of the world, our experience with our surroundings becomes a lifelong trip, a journey towards the unknown, and yet so many humans are so convinced that they do know, that their beliefs do not require questioning. This realization wasn't exactly new to me but the shroom experience came as an affirmation that there is so much left to explore, always more. Boundaries become offset, something we thought to have known fully can actually possess an entirely new texture with every new glance, real certainty does not exist because our experience is subjective and driven by the doors of perception we allow ourselves to look into. 

The trip calmed down once we left the bus, but during that time in the bus my world swirled with new doors being swung open and the confusion of it all strangely felt both regenerating and wistful. In fact, I mostly lost sense of my own life as I've known it up to this point. My relationships remained important but I found myself thinking past what I immediately know. I think I've always been pretty thoughtful about my surroundings and relationships in my daily life. However, the trip pushed me well past what I have always pondered in my immediate existence as I gained a foreign glimpse into what it means to be alive--more life than ever before began to surround me even in monotonous objects such as the bus I was riding through the national park in. Life and stories began to form everywhere. History in particular gained a new significance, as the notion of time gained a new texture as well. The experience as a whole felt extremely significant and large, and it has ripened with time so I'm happy to be writing about it two months later rather than in its immediate aftermath. 

I'm interested in any of your thoughts on this experience or your own experiences and happy to answer questions to the best of my ability. I plan to eat shrooms again in five days, alone this time but with a sober trip sitter who I've known since an early age and trust fully. 

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