First Shroom Trip

I'd like to begin by saying that I am in no way an expert on anything, especially mushrooms. Although I feel as though I am quite observational and experienced to share my subjective experience to the best of my ability. 

So it started out just like any other day when "blast off" is predetermined and anxiously/excitedly awaited.  I planned out my evening just as I would with any other "eventful evening", music, movies, art and the likes.. prepared myself for something I would never forget. (A little back history) Prior to this trip I had no experience dosing with Psilocybin. I had done an unknown research chemical with my father, we called them "Shrills" , as they had been advertised as "Shroom Pills".   Unwise to do so I know, but they came from a trusted friend and we knew we would enjoy tripping regardless of knowing what it was. We did this 3 times, a little capsule which held about a pinch of white powder, lasted around 13 hours, felt surreal and music consumed us and the immediate environment, some of the visuals actually (and hilariously) made me lean back pretty far in the sofa, pretty intense stuff for someone who just casually smoked cannabis for recreational  purposes. To say the least I was in love with the dreamlike and immersing state of mind psychedelia brings on. I then did LSD 5 times, I really enjoyed these trips, and taking them with my father only made it more fun/special/memorable, we grew closer and we grew together. It wasn't until my first acid trip alone that I had my first taste of the frightening,confusing,delirious and serious affect a psychedelic can have on an individual. It was after this that I attempted to face my fear and redeem myself and my psychedelic confidence by once again tripping alone on LSD. I was sanctified and scarred. I felt more one with my mind, but my body felt as though it was falling apart. I couldn't smoke cannabis like I loved to without feeling uncomfortable sensations all over my body, couldn't puff a cigarette without feeling my lungs caving in. I couldn't even eat peanuts without feeling as though my teeth were falling apart. I literally felt "sick" and was paranoid that I was dying. Everyday this followed me, haunted me and took apart of me away from myself, I felt hopeless. About a year after this I had the fortunate opportunity to experience Psilocybin. A friend of mine whom I met through mutual music taste (TOOL) , gave me 7 grams of wild Panaeolus cyanescens. Me being in love with hallucination, music, perspective and spirituality I tested my luck once again, for the first time since my LSD trips. Sweet revelations, I was healed, in control and comfortable in my own skin once again. It/I felt like God. I took about 1.2 of these things and was more or less immediately thrown into a world of wonder. I laid on my back and put my headphones on and turned on my predetermined playlist. I then proceeded to soak in everything I could, the sights, the sounds, the feelings, the truth and the foreign experience itself. I seen 3-D shapes, grids, dots, images and all kinds of bizarre imagery that seemed to correlate with my immediate surroundings. I would open my eyes and catch a glimpse of my wooden closet doors flowing like a waterfall, my carpet changing from grey to red and growing, my tiles turning and my pictures (Posters/Art) dancing. The only thought I was comfortable entertaining throughout this experience and healing process was the overwhelming fact that there is nothing wrong, everything is beautiful and/or meaningful in its own respectable way. Since this moment in my life I haven't looked back. I do not need any other psychedelic, or anything to cure me. My experience/perspective/quality of life has been profoundly enhanced beyond my wildest dreams/expectations. My mind, body and soul is no longer sick, scared and scarred. I am no longer depressed and no longer looking for that something to fill the void in my life. I have found an interest and passion for this hobby. I am forever grateful for this beautiful organism and its impact, influence and place in my life. Thank you for reading. (~);}