I got what I needed and don't plan on going back...
I recently wrote this in a response to a private personal message and thought it might be good to go ahead and get out there in case anyone else found value in it. This is the first time I have tried to articulate my 10-12 dried gram dose experience. I say 10-12 dried grams because once I got to 10 dried grams (measured) I did something NO ONE should ever do and started challenging the mushroom that I wanted it to show me what it could show me as a dare. I pushed and just started eating multiple handfuls of mushrooms and it pushed back! So here it goes:
My experiences have taught me that the heroic dose TM talked about at 5 dried grams still did not lead to a non-dual experience where you can see that you are everything. I only have experience with psilocybe cubensis (thai tanic, albino, golden teachers) and the doses are pretty consistent dried.
I dry mushrooms for about a week with a fan and then put in a large air tight container with desiccant (drierite) separated by papertowel and aluminum grid. All of this is an effort to truly have an accurate dried weight as possible to consistently understand dosage.
I am not a very visual tripper so I normally do not have "mystical" or metaphorical beings when I trip, rather a heavy dose takes me to a dimension where everything is a game reality and you really have nothing to worry about because you created it and chose to be "you" (egoic identity) as a capitulation of taking the cosmic undulation (aka Akashic Field) and condensing it to this sensory receptor spaceship you call a body.
The challenge with dose is not doing to much too quickly (can black out) and also experimenting with staggering (or what I describe as "lattering" dose). Staying "grounded" is just another word for saying that you kept your identity while tripping which in turn creates a object to observe that is perceived to be separate from yourself, usually this translates to the arena of beings, alienation from the other, and mystical/nature creatures.
Okay so where to go from here. I do believe 10 dried grams can completely obliterate your identity. You will not know who you are and thus believe you can be anybody, you will panic, this is the identity (egoic self) saying that you are dying. The first time and only time I have done this dose I had already been experimenting with 7 dried grams and felt like it was more of the same and really pushed it to see what would happen knowing that I would not physically die but curious to see what would actually happen. When I began peaking on 10 dried grams I began to see archaic symbols scrolling across my face in the mirror like a marquee in moving lines mostly horizontally and some vertically. It looked like my physical body was a code like a 3D language that overlay my physical body, I wished I would have taken off my shirt to see if it was on the rest of my body. I also saw spinning widgets in the air with heavy vibration on ceiling and walls. Normally I would do eyes closed but I thought in this case if I closed my eyes I would probably black out so I kept them open and that's when I felt like I stepped out of what I can only describe like the matrix. Where you step out of the physical rendering and see the code behind the scenes. I stumbled to my wife and asked her to be with me because I was worried that I might leave my body and wanted her to only make an emergency call if I stopped breathing and only then.
I began to heat up as my mind went through the galaxy through history of presidents, wars, technology, and then through the cosmos. I could "see" all time and space in fractal geometry of folding within itself all reality of creation. I felt hot and kept water by me knowing that everytime I pee'd I needed to take water. At this point I did not know what I needed so my wife would tell me when to drink water, to get in the shower with cold water to cool down, to put clothes on, to keep me in this reality the best she could. She basically was talking with my ego self for which I no longer recognized like a robot shell she gave direction and that part of me did what needed to be done to keep the shell safe because the "I" that I realized myself to now be was everything else.
At the peak of 2 hours every minute felt like an hour, at 3 hours every minute felt like 30 minutes and so on. At the peak I stayed standing because I wanted to ensure if I passed out my wife would know it and then could watch my breathing. She recorded the whole trip on phone voice recorder and the main thing I kept saying was "I found answer to everything" I also said I would think it was crazy once I got back but it was too much to keep so I will chose to come back because the "life" experience is so much fun. When I started to come down at 4 hour mark I was worried about sleeping because again I was not sure if I might leave my body again so I stayed up until about 4 am and then slept for about 4 hours. The next day I struggled with walking, eating, and talking. It was like I was driving a robot as a 3rd Party observer looking at my arms and then being amazed that they could move when I wanted them to move. It took about a week to get back to baseline and not see everything as novel in my reality. Also the first week of sleeping I only remember having the same dream every night which was flying through the cosmos like a satellite observing the wonder.
I have not gone back to 10g because I felt like I got what I wanted. Also, lower doses now get me close to that space so I generally stay low and only use doses that can improve my experience with my identity and make me a better "you."
Also, I like latters with dose I find the "phase shift" at 45min mark is smoother. Example, take 0.5g, then 45min mark take 1g, 45min later take 2g, and 45min after that take 3g this is still over 6 grams cumulatively but it is even a smoother ride than just straight 6 grams. Once you take the 3g latter you will not be able to measure anything after that so that usually tops me out.
Now I really stay in the 0.20g daily sometimes twice a day and 1g on weekends. 1 gram can now floor me with watery eyes and heavy breathing pretty weird but the more you do the less you will want to do later if you got the answers you were looking for. If your ego pushes you to do more grams because you think there is something to prove it will usually punish your ego as a result.
Anyways, thanks for allowing me to share! It takes a lot of courage to take heavy doses and one idea that has always helped me is I have a safety net called metabolism and ALWAYS use a timer so that if I forget who I am I can count on time to track my metabolism and know that I will always come back to my identity once I hit the 4 hour mark. Also, here are some resources I have accumulated over the last year that has helped me integrate everything I experienced from this dose level:
Scientists: Roger Penrose, Ervin Laszlo, Luca Turin, Seth S.
Horowitz, Richard Schultes, Albert Hofmann, Christian Ratsch, and Stephen
Philosphers: Aldous Huxely, Jean-Paul Sartre, Simone De Beauvoir,
Ludwig Wittgenstein, Kierkegaard, Heidegger, Nagel, Joseph Campbell,
Jordan Peterson, Alfred North Whitehead, and Carl Gustav Jung.
Poets: Tobias Churton on William Blake, Allen Ginsberg
writers: Phillip K. Dick, H.G. Wells,
Lewis Carroll, James Joyce, and Greg Egan
Psychonauts: Terence Mckenna, Alan Watts, James Oroc, Martin W.
Ball, Simon G. Powell, Timothy Leary, Ram Dass, William Pickard, Rick
Strassman, James L. Kent, and Dr. Stanslov Grof, and Kat Harrison
ideology: John M. Allegro and John A.
Jokers (people that have had psychedelic experience but will not mention it) : Michael A. Singer, Eckhart Tolle, Rick Warren, Jim Conway,
Dr. Kirby Surprise