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Amanita Muscaria - Trip Report - Enlightenment

Bliss in the midst of the endless loop

I found 4 Amanita Mushrooms a week ago - put them in a box to dry in the cellar. 

A week later they were cracker-dry but unfortunately 2 of the biggest freshest caps had the middle rotted away, a brown residue was left on the carbboard where the middle of the cap used to be.

A couple of days ago, I took one of the smaller dried caps that wasn't rotted - about 4cm across once dried, unsure of weight, but it gave a good mouthful when chewed to a pulp in the middle of the day. It tasted like a regular mushroom should except it also had the mild flavour of sweaty socks. No mental effects, but it did make me feel a mild nausea.

Last night (two nights after the first trip) I decided I would cook the rest into tea. 
I took the four stems (ranging between 4cm long and ~10cm long, and what was left of the caps (a small handful dried) and I crumbled them into a crock pot of water heated to 90C. The mushroom material crumbled very readily and gave it a quick stir and left it.
2 and a half hours later I returned and strained it with a french coffee press. I put it in the cupboard for a couple of hours as I was running around busy. Total volume of the liquid was around 350ml.

At 1830 I sipped a very small mouth fun (around the size of a shot). It tasted like mushroomy sock water. Not terrible, but not real great. Kinda felt like it coated my mouth but a mandarine helped clear that feeling. 
No notable effects. 1 I ate some dinner and took another mouth full about an hour later. 
I had a very mild feeling of heavy legs at around 2 hours I drank the remainder over about an hour more. 

3 hours By now I feel pretty feel uncoordinated like I am drunk, and I am definitely feeling 'strange' - my thoughts don't feel bad, no real nausea - most notable feeling is that I feel a bit 'clumsy' and tired. Not bad or good, just different. Minor visual effects, water puddles seem sharper like the onset of LSD.And was in bed by 930. I use my iPhone for a few minutes before falling asleep.

Time got a bit unusual after here. I woke up to quickly what felt like an hour later to brush my teeth and get a drink of water, but I suspect it was soon after initially going to bed. I fell asleep (if it can be called that). My 'sleep' was one of the most intense trips I have ever experienced. 

I entered a very real-feeling dream state where my basic dream started to loop in ever shortening cycles before I realised that the actual instance of the loop was looping on itself. I felt like I was spat from the loop into a kind of 'admininstrator' zone where I could experience the multitude of loops that exist alongside all of my life choices simultaneously almost like I was flying outside all of the loops and seeing them arc off in every direction, like I was flying along side them all the infinite choices running parallel to mine now as well as the future and past of these choices. I explored this for what felt like hours and was exploring along these states, not wanting to wale up because I was really exploring my life in many many different streams as an distraction from the infinite, and a realisation that there is some kind of ultimate destination at the centre of all the choices, but that the goal is not to get to that destination. 

I experienced a long time of playing with different combination of waking life variables to try to 'improve' my real life status - watching how they changed, and getting a realisation for what they did in the day to day world. I was awake, yet still in 'admin mode' and I found some chats on looping I felt connected to all.

I experienced enlightenment. I witnessed the Soma, understood where every religious figure (Jesus, Buddha etc) fit into the loop. It is very difficult to translate this. I Was aware that I could choose to wake up at any moment, but to do so would be to choose a moment or focus as my exit from the loop state (like a level cheat in a game where you can go to any level you want). I had options to jump to certain experiences and focus my life on them for a while. But I chose to remain within the loop, exploring. I think I actually fell asleep at some point from here. 

I woke up this morning with a bit of a tired feeling in my head. Like I had not slept, but I don't feel bad at all. Just a little tired. But that is my life in recent weeks. I have a very busy schedule, so sleep has always been on the lower end of my goals.

Some minor revelations about my life today were present on wakening - the dream helped me work through some waking life challenges.

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