"Finding It" / The Tunnel

I have wanted to get my hands on DMT since I first heard about it five years ago. Last summer, I was visiting a friend of mine. He pulled out a baggie with some small burnt-looking brownish-yellow crystals. He said it was DMT -  he had bartered for it and wanted to try it with me. I got super excited, but then he backed out and wanted to wait because he had work the next morning. I tried to assure him that the trip would be very short, but he wasn't comfortable with it so I didn't push it. I was really disappointed but still excited. This prompted me to write a song called "Don't Almost Give it to Me."

The next time we hung out, he was game to try the DMT. He pulled it out and we did our best to split it into two even amounts. I did some quick research about ideal setting and administration method, and asked for him to turn the tv and music off, since I read they may be distracting or overwhelming. I was up first. I sprinkled my allotment on top of a tiny layer of weed in his bowl. I read not to touch the crystals with fire if possible, so I tried my best not to. I took my first deep breath and held it for a slow 15 count and breathed out. I didn't feel anything yet, but I was nervous. I struck the lighter and pulled again. I accidentally touched the flame to the DMT, but controlled it as best I could. I took my second huge breath, and started counting. The bowl was cashed. When I got to the count of eight, something seemed to "crystalize" in my mind and I heard this distinct chirping sound, followed by a resonant hum. I kept holding my breath and counting, but I felt like I didn't need to breathe anymore and could hold it forever if I wanted. I looked at the guitar on its stand across the room, and it looked cartoonishly bright and slick on all surfaces. I glanced down at my arm and saw the skin was made of millions of tiny hexagons. Everything was made of hexagons. I began to lose consciousness. I drifted into a psychedelic stupor, similar to a couple of peak mushroom experiences I've had. I didn't understand what was going on, and when I began to slightly understand, I was yanked into another plane and was dumbfounded again. I came back to consciousness long enough to grab the pencil and paper I had laid out for myself, and jotted down the two words that had been repeating at various overlapping intensities in my head: "FINDING IT" (I don't know what "it" was, but I am more that willing to go looking for it again at the first opportunity). I was yanked back into a dreamlike state, and this time I was inside a huge tunnel. It was tilted upward at an angle and I was floating inside it. The revolving walls were made of big hexagons - some were blue, some red, some yellowish. I stayed there for a little while, and then I heard a sound I had heard before losing consciousness. It was the extremely slowed-down sound of water bubbles echoing, coming from a fish tank on on the wall to my right. I realized my brain was hearing the sound and dramatically slowing it down. I opened my eyes and lifted my head to see my friend staring at me. I immediately started giggling uncontrollably and didn't stop for at least two or three minutes. It was possibly the most euphoric I've ever been in my entire life. He asked me about my trip, and I told him. Good guy that he is, he offered me his dose so I could do it again. "No, man," I said, "you've gotta try this right now." I proceeded to sit with him as he took his dose and his head drooped down, eyes closed. I thought about how happy I was for him. It turned out that he didn't really get too much from his trip, but he enjoyed it. The shitty thing is, he probably wouldn't have cared if I had taken the whole amount myself, and that almost certainly would have blasted me off. But fair is fair, so we had split it.

I know a lot of people say DMT is a spiritual experience that shouldn't be considered "recreational," but I say why can't it be both? I feel the same way about mushrooms - I simultaneously respect, am frightened by, and am utterly thrilled by the higher level trips I've experienced. It's not something I'd want to do all the time, but it's something I want to continue to explore deeper. As for DMT, I hope to get my hands on enough to break through next time. I don't doubt I'll have the courage to take that third hit (there wasn't anything left to take a third hit of in the above experience), because I desperately want to see where this rabbit hole can lead.