Where should i even start...
It was a beautiful day and i finished with all of my daily work. So i went to our "weekend house" with my parents for the day. And since there was almost no work to be done i thought let's take shrooms in nature. And since i picked my shrooms 1 day before the trip i thought they weren't fully dry yet. And i thought i compensated for that with taking a little more than usual in grams. (since i don't trip much at all i take fairly high doses when i do 6-7g). Also this was not by any means my first high dose trip. I've done 8g easy with nothing "unusual" if you can call it that. But this day...
I ate about 10 grams of what i thought were semi dry shrooms. And then i helped my dad with some work for about 30 min. Then i started feeling it a little. So i sat down a little bit. Drank some water and calmly waited for the effects to start appearing. It was going very smooth and i felt great for about 15 min. But then i started getting a very bad feeling in my stomach and almost puked. In the end i didn't puke and believe me that was huge mistake...
Because of the stomach pain i laid down a bit. But i didn't say bye to that bed till evening. It started with some mild hallucinations like moving walls and melting walls and stuff. Also the house was made of wood and the ceeling was really trippy with circle patterns and stuff and it was kinda fun to watch that if the stomach wasn't hurting. 30 minutes into the trip the hallucinations started getting pretty intense and that wasn't really a problem. But i started to get a feeling of being so uncomfortable for some reason. I don't exactly know how to describe the feeling. It was periodical. Like being afraid in a way. I was constantly looking at time and it was slowing down with the coming of the trip. And then came a moment when time almost froze for me. I was looking at the clock on my phone and one minute felt like an hour. By this moment i was already a little anxious because i still had that uncomfortable feeling running over me. In the next 10-15 minutes it almost felt like i took dmt. The time was moving so slow and then boom. The trip went downhill.
Even though i knew what substance i took and it's effects and that it would end i started to feel like i will never return to normal, that i would stay in the trip forever. Also i imagined all the worst possible scenarios. I saw spirales with no colour but black and white and by that point i got really scared. Because all the trips in the past everything was so colourful and vibrant and happy feeling. But this time it was so dark, and the visuals got crazy out of control. By this point the time was almost at a halt. Also i drank alot of water during the trip which helped a little i think.
So after a while of suffering i needed to go pee. And that was the best thing i've ever done during a trip. I litteraly felt like i peed out all the bad feelings i was having during the trip and after that the trip was again pure bliss to experience. I've never cried so much in my life when i realized i would survive. It was like being reborn. So in a way it was a good trip too.
Also i always mentaly prepare myself for a trip but this time it was kinda deciding on the spot and that i think was the biggest mistake.
I'm going to end this on a question. Ever since i experienced that trip i sometimes get that "uncomfortable" feeling like a little anxiety randomly or a small panic attack(nothing serious, just at the back of my mind). But in between the trip and now i've had some rough time with school and my job. But not at the time of the trip. These "uncomfortable feelings" got more evident last 2 years when i had these problems. And i still can't seem to get rid of it. Even though now my life is pretty good and organized. I get the feeling that something in my brain changed that day at the trip. The feeling is basicaly the same as the one i got the day i tripped. It's really unique and it only like lasts for 1-3 seconds before im good again. But it really messes with me not knowing what it is. If anybody has had something similar happen to him i'd really much like your opinion.
On the other hand ever since my trip i got alot more caring and compassionate and grew as a person. It felt like i got over a huge wall that day of the trip and i can notice myself respond to others in a more accepting way. I really don't know what i should call this trip good or bad.?
If you came this far i'd really like your opinion on this.
Also sorry, i'm not a native english speaker so there's probably lots of mistakes... :p
Take care peeps! =)