Last saturday i took 2g of mushrooms in liquid form, which i ordered and waited for the right moment to take them. I never had any psychadelic experiences before (just realy light visuals with xtc in combination with weed).
Set & Setting:
- i had a course for my driving license that day (which i lost 2 months ago), next day (sunday) should be stress free
- was at my friends house (none of them had a psychadelic before), they smoked some weed while i was the only one going for the shrooms
- didnt eat the whole day
- i am not a person of anxiety, not at all! Very positive minded
- my girlfriend didnt want me to take them, even though she said it would be okay
It was about 2pm and it was a really hot day
I poured the substance in lemonade and drank all of it very quickly. Then i just waited by sitting next to my friends listening to some music. About 20 minutes later i noticed that walls/my hands/and normally linear stuff starts warping and breathing. I really enjoyed that because i thought "all right i read that this would happen, its cool". I decided sunbath a bit so i took off my shirt and lied down on the ground. About 20-30 minutes of having these warping effects i believed nothing more would happen and smoked a small j almost on my own (havent smoked any pot one month cause of the driving license thing).
Things started to change quite a bit from now. I closed my eyes and saw unique and fantastic patterns at first. I opened my eyes and it was almost the same pattern as i had my eyes closed.
Things itself wouldn "melt" or change, but my vision gets pixelated and it was like a 2d movie of patterns, shapes and forms.
I sat up straight and stared at a specific area of the grass.
Then this realy weird feeling starts to kick in. I kinda let go an tried to relax. At this moment i couldnt saw anything around me but kaleidoscopes and i got this "this is it man, your tripping now" feeling
I only got this feeling when i completely let go of myself. I went back inside because it was hot af
The part i dont understand:
I sat in a chair and had this feeling of complete emptiness, merging 1 with the universe and unsterstanding how fucking meaningless life itself is. I saw myself, then it zoomed out and i saw my street, my country then the earth itself and it continued to zoom further and further away, through galaxies and other dimensions. I felt like i knew the ugly truth about living and how useless my life and every other life is on this planet. It scared the shit out of me and i tried to explain it logically but that only made it worse. My friends werent really helping at all, but they couldnt understand how i feel anyway. I started to believe that i will see the world like this (useless etc) even after the comedown. I tried to say "dude its all just because of the shrooms" but it didnt really help.
One time there was this song "demons - spock" which really got stuck in my had combined with this empty feeling. It was just the verse and the vocals which made me feel completely real/serious/empty. Another really awkward feeling i thought would never leave was that i could remember anything in the world. No matter what it was (really hard to explain)
The comedown was a great relieve, i realised that i wasnt in this other dimension anymore and i could think what i want again.
After all it was a kinda bad trip since i had anxiety and got scared as fuck, but thinking about it now makes me wanna try it again and i think it was a really good experience. i couldve read more about it or what effects it would have on my mind.
I texted my girlfriend middle of the trip that i took the shrooms. She was kinda pissed so that couldve affect my negative mindset.
Thanks for reading my thoughts and experience!