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1-oz Level 5, horrible trip.
Never again.
Never again.
I've used shrooms recreationally in the past, and have had semi-bad trips, but I have never had a trip like this. It was the scariest trip I had ever had in my life, and likely the last time I'll ever trip on shrooms. It left me scarred.
I was being stupid and careless with the shrooms. I didn't respect them as medicine, and I overdid it because I was going through a hard-time and I wanted answers. I never thought that a trip could go so wrong. I planned for this trip for a week or so. We had the entire day off, and we were feeling great. We started off splitting an eighth. We were tripping, and it was great. I was swinging on the swings, and just chilling out with my girlfriend.
We went back inside, and started getting carried away. I wanted a mindfuck. I wanted answers, and foolishly, I thought if I abused shrooms, that I would receive some.
I literally consumed an ounce of really, really potent shrooms. I was even licking the bag, like a junkie. About an hour later, it really kicked in. I told my girlfriend not to call 9-11. I knew it was about to get bad, and it did. It went from bad, to horrible, to worst. I was smashed on the floor. I couldn't do anything but squirm. I was going insane. I thought about my family, how badly I had treated them, how badly I had treated my former boss, and realized that in every situation, I have been the problem.
I needed to piss. She helped me to the bathroom, and I couldn't piss. I literally stood there with it out, but nothing could go. That's when it hit me so hard.
I was frozen. I was sweating so hard, she said I must've sweat a gallon. I didn't remember even coming into the bathroom, it was like a flash. She guided me to the bed, and I couldn't remember anything. My body was in panick-mode. Nothing made sense to me. "What is anything!?", I kept saying. I didn't understand anything. I didn't know where any of my memories had come from.
I was wanted to die, but there was no way I could. I wanted it all just to end. I was in a place I didn't belong. I was out of place and time. The universe was doing it's part, and I wasn't doing mine. This was not my place, and anything earthly did not belong here. This was the way the universe functioned. Not by God, not by spirits or reincarnation as I had previously believed, but as itself. Itself, like a machine, was turning. The universe does not need maintenance, it does not need repairs. It is one, and will forever be. Time. Time does not exist there. All is forever.
Like a computer program that debugs itself, I was transported back.
I knew that the bed in the corner of the bedroom. It made sense to me somehow. I knew that was a place I needed to go. I laid there forever. My girlfriends tears showed me how dire the situation had become.
I was literally dying.
I laid there, and my girlfriend kissed me, telling me it was going to be okay. Her words couldn't do anything for me. I had forgot all language. There was nothing anybody could do for me, and I couldn't use benzo's or anything to reduce the trip because of drug-testing. I knew I had to ride this thing out. I was not ready for this trip. I was in an acid-loop. Everything kept repeating even though I wasn't moved from the bed. I fell through my girlfriend a few times. I remember going down a slide, there were giant mushrooms, snakes, everything on the way down. I had microslept.
As hours passed, I finally came too. I told my girlfriend my name, and she because happy. She knew I was going to be alright. I was still out of it. I told her I needed to find a job, but she told me I already had one.
"oh yeah'.
I just laid there facing the wall. My girlfriend was holding me. I was in bad-shape, but the worst was over.
"I feel sick."
I immediately got up, I was so fatigued from this trip that I wanted to throw up on the floor. I thought to myself, "No, you fucking Junkie. You go to the fucking restroom."
I made it to the restroom, and I unleashed vomit so violently it was like the exorcist. I had never been this sick. I had abused my body so badly, that it was fighting back.
I tried to get a sandwhich down, "I've gotta get food in my stomach" I told my girlfriend. I kept drinking water. I was doing everything I knew to do. I kept vomiting for a few hours.
I was so fatigued. I laid there in bed watching the walls melt. The worst was over.. now it was time to rest.. Resting was hard, but I knew I needed too.
I woke up the next morning. My severe anxiety isn't here. I'm anxious, but not nearly as much as I usually am. I assume it'll come back later.
Never abuse your shrooms. I was in a bad place, I knew better, and I was being an idiot. I literally ruined the day for my girlfriend and I. I had no control over it. People are people, and when you're insane, you can't do anything. Sometimes time is the only medicine.
I've used shrooms recreationally in the past, and have had semi-bad trips, but I have never had a trip like this. It was the scariest trip I had ever had in my life, and likely the last time I'll ever trip on shrooms. It left me scarred.
I was being stupid and careless with the shrooms. I didn't respect them as medicine, and I overdid it because I was going through a hard-time and I wanted answers. I never thought that a trip could go so wrong. I planned for this trip for a week or so. We had the entire day off, and we were feeling great. We started off splitting an eighth. We were tripping, and it was great. I was swinging on the swings, and just chilling out with my girlfriend.
We went back inside, and started getting carried away. I wanted a mindfuck. I wanted answers, and foolishly, I thought if I abused shrooms, that I would receive some.
I literally consumed an ounce of really, really potent shrooms. I was even licking the bag, like a junkie. About an hour later, it really kicked in. I told my girlfriend not to call 9-11. I knew it was about to get bad, and it did. It went from bad, to horrible, to worst. I was smashed on the floor. I couldn't do anything but squirm. I was going insane. I thought about my family, how badly I had treated them, how badly I had treated my former boss, and realized that in every situation, I have been the problem.
I needed to piss. She helped me to the bathroom, and I couldn't piss. I literally stood there with it out, but nothing could go. That's when it hit me so hard.
I was frozen. I was sweating so hard, she said I must've sweat a gallon. I didn't remember even coming into the bathroom, it was like a flash. She guided me to the bed, and I couldn't remember anything. My body was in panick-mode. Nothing made sense to me. "What is anything!?", I kept saying. I didn't understand anything. I didn't know where any of my memories had come from.
I was wanted to die, but there was no way I could. I wanted it all just to end. I was in a place I didn't belong. I was out of place and time. The universe was doing it's part, and I wasn't doing mine. This was not my place, and anything earthly did not belong here. This was the way the universe functioned. Not by God, not by spirits or reincarnation as I had previously believed, but as itself. Itself, like a machine, was turning. The universe does not need maintenance, it does not need repairs. It is one, and will forever be. Time. Time does not exist there. All is forever.
Like a computer program that debugs itself, I was transported back.
I knew that the bed in the corner of the bedroom. It made sense to me somehow. I knew that was a place I needed to go. I laid there forever. My girlfriends tears showed me how dire the situation had become.
I was literally dying.
I laid there, and my girlfriend kissed me, telling me it was going to be okay. Her words couldn't do anything for me. I had forgot all language. There was nothing anybody could do for me, and I couldn't use benzo's or anything to reduce the trip because of drug-testing. I knew I had to ride this thing out. I was not ready for this trip. I was in an acid-loop. Everything kept repeating even though I wasn't moved from the bed. I fell through my girlfriend a few times. I remember going down a slide, there were giant mushrooms, snakes, everything on the way down. I had microslept.
As hours passed, I finally came too. I told my girlfriend my name, and she because happy. She knew I was going to be alright. I was still out of it. I told her I needed to find a job, but she told me I already had one.
"oh yeah'.
I just laid there facing the wall. My girlfriend was holding me. I was in bad-shape, but the worst was over.
"I feel sick."
I immediately got up, I was so fatigued from this trip that I wanted to throw up on the floor. I thought to myself, "No, you fucking Junkie. You go to the fucking restroom."
I made it to the restroom, and I unleashed vomit so violently it was like the exorcist. I had never been this sick. I had abused my body so badly, that it was fighting back.
I tried to get a sandwhich down, "I've gotta get food in my stomach" I told my girlfriend. I kept drinking water. I was doing everything I knew to do. I kept vomiting for a few hours.
I was so fatigued. I laid there in bed watching the walls melt. The worst was over.. now it was time to rest.. Resting was hard, but I knew I needed too.
I woke up the next morning. My severe anxiety isn't here. I'm anxious, but not nearly as much as I usually am. I assume it'll come back later.
Never abuse your shrooms. I was in a bad place, I knew better, and I was being an idiot. I literally ruined the day for my girlfriend and I. I had no control over it. People are people, and when you're insane, you can't do anything. Sometimes time is the only medicine.
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