I guess i should start by saying a little about myself. This trip took place about a year ago. I come from a christian family that attends church regularly. From a young age the religion never resonated with me. I was always the black sheep out of all my siblings. I was the first child to get into cannabis and sometimes alcohol. Finding my way to the world of altered states of consciousness come very naturally to me. I began my substance use at the young age of 13. It quickly excelled past recreational drug use and became an addiction/ habit. The addiction wasn't to marijuana but rather just being high, didn't matter what is was from. The next 5 years of my life were difficult. I suffered from addiction and at the same time i was very confused about who I was, what i believe in and why i felt this way. During this time i had an intense relationship with marijuana but i also began using drugs such as mdma, cocaine, and prescription pain killers. When i was 18 one day i realized something has to change, either i stop all this bad behavior and submit myself to Christianity or reject the religion and explore for my own solution. Around this time, my best friend was interested in psychedelics. We began to discus the different possibilities outside of organized structured religion (something i had never done before). Threw our discussions and a couple low dose mushroom trips (2-3g) i came to the conclusion that i should think for myself and decide what i think based upon my own experiences. I also decided that these psychedelics are a good place to start in my quest of truth and renewal. At this point my best friend, lets call him j, had moved to my city for school. Him, along with 4 other guys rented a house near their school. Because i come from a christian home i have never been allowed to get intoxicated at home. Therefore when i was 18 i spent a lot of time at this house with all the guys. Eventually i introduced my other friend (we'll call him T) to my best friend J. T and J got along very well and J ended up invited T to the house. Long story short, T ended up moving into the house. Shortly after all of the original members of the house including J dropped out and moved back home. Now only T perminently resides at the house. At this point i had mostly stopped my drug habits, the psychedelics showed me on multiple occasions the harm i was doing to myself. After seeing the harm i was doing i could no longer continue the habits.
Its a friday. i was at work and randomly started to think about trying 5 dried grams in silent darkness. I am a huge fan of Terence Mckenna so i was very interested to see what he was talking about. I had previously done shrooms many times but all 3g or lower. also previous mushroom use has been purely recreational but recently i began using them as the tool they really are. So while i was at work i decided tonight was the night i try 5 grams. I finished work, grabbed 5 grams of mushrooms and heading for T's house. In the past all my best psychedelic experiences have been with J so i asked him to trip sit and he agreed. The setting was perfect. J and i got to T's house and all hungout and smoked some herb. T had to leave for work which was perfect because i needed his room/bed to trip in. After T left for work i consumed the mushrooms, smoked a little more herb and laid down to wait for it all. J was sleeping on the floor during the trip, although i could not see him his presence made me feel at ease.
I entered into a domain that
appeared to similar to outer space, perhaps in space. I felt as my
consciousness was suspended in the center of a void. Then within this void an
organism appeared to me. This organism appeared as a ball that contained tentacle
like masses/body parts emerging from the surface. In a state of astonishment
and confusion I decided to ask the mushroom what this thing was. The mushroom
replied “it is the universe.”
Immediately following the mushroom began to
elaborate what it had meant to communicate to me. I was suddenly merged with
this organism. The mushroom told me that each of the tentacle like objects
represent a human life. I was shown that not only is this organism the universe
but it is myself as well. In the same way that our blood flows through our body
and we consider it the individual because it is a part of the individual, we
inhabit the inner dimensions of the universe and therefor are the universe because
we are a part of it. I was then shown that our consciousness is connected with
the universe, I was shown how humans experience life from individual
perspective of the self but the universe experiences life through not from one
point of view but all of them. Every living being that experiences life is
providing the universe with a point of view but the universe is simultaneously experiencing
every point of view in existence or at least point of view within itself.
After this information was granted
to me, the mushroom spoke again. This time giving me personal advice for my
specific point of consciousness. The mushroom revealed to me that the ultimate
frequency that humans have lost touch with is agape love or better known as
unconditional love. “This is what matters most” it told me, and I realized that
an aspect of enlightenment must be agape love. We must learn to think of love
before we do anything.
I was also shown the ripple effect, how
everything we do has an outward effect on the universe. All our thoughts, words
and actions have different vibrational energies. Each living organism broadcast
energies including the universe and all energies interact with each other. Love
is the most powerful vibrational energy that can be emitted by humans. This is important because we receive from others
similar frequencies that we project. E.G if you’re angry all the time, chances
are you will encounter a lot of other angry people.
The final teaching I received was
about the flow of life. I could see it in front of me, at first it appeared as
a wheel. On this wheel, I could see the process of life. I witness the beginning
of life as plants begin to grow out from the ground. I saw both wild vegetation
as well is large farmers’ fields filled with corn. The plants began the grow
until they reached maturity and then they were consumed. The wild vegetation was
consumed by animals and the cultivated corn was consumed by the humans. I then
saw the waste animals produce as a byproduct of metabolism. Some of the plants
energy is absorbed by the animal and the rest returns to the earth through the
waste. I then saw death, acting on all levels of life. I realized how beautiful
death actually is. With death comes renewal. E.G when autumn comes, all the
leaves on the tree die and fall. The same happens with plants that are not
adapt to winter conditions. This covers the forest floor with dead vegetation.
This layer of dead plant material is vital to the flourishment of the forest
come spring time. Death creates the an environment ideal for life to flourish.
I was then shown different examples of this flow. I saw the flow of food, metabolism
and waste. I saw the flow of blood through my veins and finally I saw the flow
of rivers across the earth. The mushroom explained to me that a blockage of
flow on any level will cause problems. Life is all about an effortless flow that
needs to remain continual on all levels constantly.