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Meeting the Mushroom in the Void

first 5 gram trip in silent darkness


   I guess i should start by saying a little about myself. This trip took place about a year ago. I come from a christian family that attends church regularly. From a young age the religion never resonated with me. I was always the black sheep out of all my siblings. I was the first child to get into cannabis and sometimes alcohol. Finding my way to the world of altered states of consciousness come very naturally to me. I began my substance use at the young age of 13. It quickly excelled past recreational drug use and became an addiction/ habit. The addiction wasn't to marijuana but rather just being high, didn't matter what is was from. The next 5 years of my life were difficult. I suffered from addiction and at the same time i was very confused about who I was, what i believe in and why i felt this way. During this time i had an intense relationship with marijuana but i also began using drugs such as mdma, cocaine, and prescription pain killers. When i was 18 one day i realized something has to change, either i stop all this bad behavior and submit myself to Christianity or reject the religion and explore for my own solution. Around this time, my best friend was interested in psychedelics. We began to discus the different possibilities outside of organized structured religion (something i had never done before).  Threw our discussions and a couple low dose mushroom trips (2-3g) i came to the conclusion that i should think for myself and decide what i think based upon my own experiences. I also decided that these psychedelics are a good place to start in my quest of truth and renewal.  At this point my best friend, lets call him j, had moved to my city for school. Him, along with 4 other guys rented a house near their school. Because i come from a christian home i have never been allowed to get intoxicated at home. Therefore when i was 18 i spent a lot of time at this house with all the guys. Eventually i introduced my other friend (we'll call him T) to my best friend J. T and J got along very well and J ended up invited T to the house. Long story short, T ended up moving into the house. Shortly after all of the original members of the house including J dropped out and moved back home. Now only T perminently resides at the house. At this point i had mostly stopped my drug habits, the psychedelics showed me on multiple occasions the harm i was doing to myself. After seeing the harm i was doing i could no longer continue the habits.


   Its a friday. i was at work and randomly started to think about trying 5 dried grams in silent darkness. I am a huge fan of Terence Mckenna so i was very interested to see what he was talking about. I had previously done shrooms many times but all 3g or lower. also previous mushroom use has been purely recreational but recently i began using them as the tool they really are.  So while i was at work i decided tonight was the night i try 5 grams. I finished work, grabbed 5 grams of mushrooms and heading for T's house. In the past all my best psychedelic experiences have been with J so i asked him to trip sit and he agreed. The setting was perfect. J and i got to T's house and all hungout and smoked some herb. T had to leave for work which was perfect because i needed his room/bed to trip in. After T left for work i consumed the mushrooms, smoked a little more herb and laid down to wait for it all. J was sleeping on the floor during the trip, although i could not see him his presence made me feel at ease.


I entered into a domain that appeared to similar to outer space, perhaps in space. I felt as my consciousness was suspended in the center of a void. Then within this void an organism appeared to me. This organism appeared as a ball that contained tentacle like masses/body parts emerging from the surface. In a state of astonishment and confusion I decided to ask the mushroom what this thing was. The mushroom replied “it is the universe.”

 Immediately following the mushroom began to elaborate what it had meant to communicate to me. I was suddenly merged with this organism. The mushroom told me that each of the tentacle like objects represent a human life. I was shown that not only is this organism the universe but it is myself as well. In the same way that our blood flows through our body and we consider it the individual because it is a part of the individual, we inhabit the inner dimensions of the universe and therefor are the universe because we are a part of it. I was then shown that our consciousness is connected with the universe, I was shown how humans experience life from individual perspective of the self but the universe experiences life through not from one point of view but all of them. Every living being that experiences life is providing the universe with a point of view but the universe is simultaneously experiencing every point of view in existence or at least point of view within itself.

After this information was granted to me, the mushroom spoke again. This time giving me personal advice for my specific point of consciousness. The mushroom revealed to me that the ultimate frequency that humans have lost touch with is agape love or better known as unconditional love. “This is what matters most” it told me, and I realized that an aspect of enlightenment must be agape love. We must learn to think of love before we do anything.

 I was also shown the ripple effect, how everything we do has an outward effect on the universe. All our thoughts, words and actions have different vibrational energies. Each living organism broadcast energies including the universe and all energies interact with each other. Love is the most powerful vibrational energy that can be emitted by humans.  This is important because we receive from others similar frequencies that we project. E.G if you’re angry all the time, chances are you will encounter a lot of other angry people.

The final teaching I received was about the flow of life. I could see it in front of me, at first it appeared as a wheel. On this wheel, I could see the process of life. I witness the beginning of life as plants begin to grow out from the ground. I saw both wild vegetation as well is large farmers’ fields filled with corn. The plants began the grow until they reached maturity and then they were consumed. The wild vegetation was consumed by animals and the cultivated corn was consumed by the humans. I then saw the waste animals produce as a byproduct of metabolism. Some of the plants energy is absorbed by the animal and the rest returns to the earth through the waste. I then saw death, acting on all levels of life. I realized how beautiful death actually is. With death comes renewal. E.G when autumn comes, all the leaves on the tree die and fall. The same happens with plants that are not adapt to winter conditions. This covers the forest floor with dead vegetation. This layer of dead plant material is vital to the flourishment of the forest come spring time. Death creates the an environment ideal for life to flourish. I was then shown different examples of this flow. I saw the flow of food, metabolism and waste. I saw the flow of blood through my veins and finally I saw the flow of rivers across the earth. The mushroom explained to me that a blockage of flow on any level will cause problems. Life is all about an effortless flow that needs to remain continual on all levels constantly.



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