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First Heroic Dose (gone wrong)

First bad trip (seizure-like experience)



First time posting, never felt as if I needed to share my trips, but this one really threw me through a loop as it was my first bad trip. At the time, I thought I had experienced a seizure toward the end but am unsure whether it was an actual seizure. Input and advice would be much appreciated! Read what you would like to as I will break it down the best I can.

 

PRE TRIP SETTING:

               I have been reading other trip reports and studying Terrence Mckenna's heroic dose for the last couple weeks and really wanted to meet the beings that visit with a 5g dose with no auditory or visual input (quiet dark room). I had been planning for this trip for the entire week leading up to the trip and was getting very excited as my Friday grew nearer and nearer. I work as a valet at a hotel and must wake up at 4am to get to work by 6:30. So by the end of my trip I had been awake for 25 hours. I had also received some intense life advice from a good family friend. He offered me an old car of his and I asked what he wanted for it, his reply "I want you to make something great out of your life. I want you to give the strongest effort you can to stay off drugs and to make me proud of you" I recently OD'd on cocaine last December, so this really overwhelmed me for some reason. In addition I had recently knocked up a girl I had no intention of being with, she aborted it and blamed it all on me (when she said she would take care of it after I offered the plan b pill the morning after). All in all my mind was not in a good state, however I felt that this shroom trip would inspire me with some life direction, and so I proceeded with my planned evening. I am 20 years old and am taking a semester off from school. I am living with my parents for the time being and share a room with my 10 year old brother. The house is full with my 5 siblings, parents, and my sister's friend's family visiting and staying the night. I felt it best to wait for everyone to go to sleep before I began my trip. I proceeded to weigh out the 5g cubensis dose and made a pb&j to help the shroomies down the gullet. It was midnight by time I ingested the magical fun guys. I turned off the lights and lay in bed awaiting the extraordinary hallucinations I anticipated.

 

THE TRIP:

               45 min had passed before I began to feel the waterfall of euphoria accompanied by slight visuals. An hour in, (1am) the walls had begun to morph and wobble all about while they changed between red, orange and yellow hues. I had also begun to receive auditory hallucinations. I began hearing little bursts of what sounded like static. By 1:30 I felt as though my body was being lifted from earth and I began seeing all sorts of patterns in the dark that looked like eyes of all shapes and sizes I was becoming absolutely fascinated and mesmerized by what I was seeing and hearing. The trip was absolutely pleasant up to this point, then shit began to hit the fan. Out of nowhere, a painful high pitch ring, lasting a split second hit me. It was so intense it jolted my entire body. I felt it was awesome that I was getting these auditory hallucinations and didn't think too much of it. The ring hit a few more times before I became afraid of the pain and didn't want to hear it anymore as it would physically hurt within my mind. After experimenting with how the lights affected my trip, I determined the painful bursting ring only occurred when I had the lights off and couldn't see. I kept at least a dim light on the remainder of my trip. By 2am I needed to pee and stumbled into the bathroom where I found light. I wasn't hearing any ring pitches in the bathroom but rather some form of an echoing chant. I wasn't frightened at all by this but rather attempted to understand what the chanting was saying (never was able to figure it out). The echoing chant came and left here and there. By this time had lost all perception of time. I felt as though I had escaped the matrix. This out of body experience was extraordinarily authentic and felt very factual. My soul had escaped my body, and my soul wasn't sure how to feel about it. I felt trapped. Unable to access the realm my soul was trying to reach, and unable to find its way back to my body. I could tell I was smiling intensely and having laughing fits here and there. Through the entire night I would zone out and then feel as though my soul would be slammed back into my body, and my breathing would intensify with a loud penetrating gasp for air, as one does after they regain consciousness from CPR or something of the sort. My soul was despondently dancing in some purgatory state between the laws of this mortal realm and what I can only perceive as being a neighboring dimension. My soul could not venture into the other because there was some form of wall (a frosted, flesh like wall with an orange ambiance resonating from the other side) keeping me from exploring. My soul was trapped. I was sure that what existed on the other side of this wall was the afterlife. My body merely became a tool or means for my soul to interact with the mortal existence we call reality, but my soul was by no means attached to my body. By 2:30am I was breaking all forms of time barriers. And my soul was bouncing back and forth between reality and what I can only liken to "The Upside Down" from the Netflix series Stranger Things. I wasn't necessarily afraid of what I was experiencing, but I wasn't able to escape it. 2 demensional objects such as the wall, my phone screen, and photos I looked at became 3 demensional. The letters on my keyboard were either moving away from me or moving toward me. I knew the only way out of this bad trip was to confront and accept what was going on. Yet there was nothing coming to me for me to confront. My subconscious was telling me I could escape this if I turned off the lights, which would bring back the tinnitus like rings, which I did not want because it would physically hurt my head. I was in a completely stagnant state. I then felt another overwhelming sensation of having exited the matrix where I knew everything in my life was a lie and that there was some sort of master controlling the synthetic realm I called reality. (crazy delusions lol). 3 am rolled around and I was laying back in bed. My muscles began to contract intensely and my whole body began to spasm in a rhythmic timing. I didn't think much of it because I was tripping all too hard. It felt as though some demon was attempting to make its way into my body which I was no longer occupying, but was having difficulty with its possession effort. (that's what it felt like). My subconscious then began to worry about whether this was something serious. My breathing was very intense and rapid. I called a very close friend because I knew I was in no position to care for myself and I began to worry about my physical wellbeing. She was trying to gain an understanding for the circumstances and I was doing my best to tell her what was up. At this point I began blacking out and I felt as though my blood circulation was slowing down way too much as I felt a very cold chill through my body and loss of control of my physical self. Have you ever stuck a butter knife in a socket, or felt any form of electrocution? I felt a surge of that go through my head, down the back of my neck and through my whole body while simultaneously seeing a black veil in my peripherals. I don't know what happened next because when I came to I was laying down on my bed, my phone had fallen on the ground and my friend kept calling my name through the phone asking if I was okay. I have no idea how much time had passed. But I then felt extremely nauseous and rushed to the toilet. I didn't vomit, however the lower back of my head felt very tingly. It wasn't a pain that results from impact, but the tingling pain felt more internal. I thought that maybe I had seized and was afraid it would happen again, I begged my friend to come over and take care of me and make sure I was okay because I wasn't sure if it was all in my head or if I had actually experienced a seizure. (I had no idea what a seizure was supposed to feel like but that's the only thing I could think of) she rushed over and found her way into my bedroom where I was completely conscious, but my whole body would twitch and spasm every couple seconds. From the time I called her to the time she arrived it had been 45 minutes, and it felt like only 5 minutes. She took a pulse and evaluated my state. My heart rate was a little fast, but I had calmed down since before. She then laid next to me and helped me fall asleep during my come down. I had fallen asleep at about 5am. I woke up at about 7:30am feeling extremely fatigued.

 

Has anyone experienced something similar?

Thanks for reading. This trip really freaked me out.

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