Last night I had a 2.5g mushroom trip to gain some insight into my life, the situations, how I got here, and to motivate me to change. The trip brought about some teachings that will undoubtedly have an impact on my life and I wanted to share this with anybody that reads in hope that it could provide some insight to anybody that needs it. This is by no means complete but as more memories come back from last nights trip I will revisit and update this page. Hope it can be of some help to others.
Getting lost in a trip directly represents what is going on in our everyday life. We are lost because we trap ourselves in destructive habit patterns. The lack of awareness we have causes us to repeat these cycles which in turn strengthen the habit pattern and lead us further into the maze. You get so lost that you forget what once was, you wonder how your life has ended up this way. Psychology tells us that we need to trace the beginning point of where the madness began but this is completely unnecessary and will only get you lost. What is important is that you identify negative cycles in your life and keep removing them as an when they arise.
We are all positive in nature. Negativity isnt who we are, its just how we behave. To try and be positive appears to be the wrong approach because we dont have to try to be something we already are, this is a misunderstanding. The way to be positive is simply to remove the negativities. When you remove negativities all that is left is positivity. Identify your negative cycles and remove them, don't just ignore them or they wont go away.
When a negative cycle is identified, it will bring about painful emotions, mainly guilt. The mind will then start to identify past situations that this negative cycle has influenced and you could be faced with hundreds of situations that you realise you acted wrongly. Its important in these circumstances that you understand the positivity of this realisation as it will work to reduce or prevent these situations from reoccurring. All emotions have their place in the mind, including the negative/painful ones, therefore its important that you use them as a tool to help you progress. Guilt is the minds way of trying to guide you, to help you remove negativities.
To work directly on negativities you need to remember you are battling your ego, your deep rooted habit pattern. The fact you have been caught in a negative cycle means you have been harming yourself and others around you. To move past this you need to accept a loss, you need to accept blame, you need to accept responsibility. You have you accept this loss if you want to gain anything from it. Every time you do this your habit pattern/ego will be weakened and you will gradually become a happier person. Life will start to be good. You will become more humble.
When you identify an area in your life that isnt satisfactory, look hard for negative cycles that involve that situation. The fact that you are unaware of the cause of this unsatisfactory situation probably means that the negative cycle will be completely hidden or hard to see, it will appear to be subtle although in reality its so powerful that it is controlling and trapping you in this situation. An easy way to identify these cycles are to separate your behaviours into 2 categories, beneficial and unbeneficial. Remove the unbeneficial actions. Your ego will confuse you because the unbeneficial actions will "feel" good because its part of your habit pattern, therefore it will take strength for you to admit that even though these behaviours "feel" good, they are actually short term pleasures that are unbeneficial in nature and are strengthening your destructive habit pattern. Is watching this TV beneficial or unbeneficial? Forget "but im enjoying myself" that's not what this is about. IS THIS BENEFICAL??? These words that are coming out of my mouth, are they beneficial? Think hard about what else you could be doing with this time and understand that even though you might not have the strength to change it immediately, you have at least identified one of the causes of your negative situation and can begin to work on removing it.