8 hours trip Staring the Face of Madness. Much further than Ego Death. Healing with the Ancestors.

[u]Please, do read it, it is worth it. The teachings I received were beyond imagination.[/u]

[center][u][B]Preparation, Setting, Substance(s) & Other[/B][/u][/center]

1- Very long story, but for soul healing purposes I consume shrooms every three months. I was supposed to eat them early this month. Some of you know I have mentioning about using 5-MeO-DMT, but the retreat guys seem a bit phony and I ended up not going, as I felt they could be scammers. I got scammed once with Ayahuasca. So I went ahead with the Shrooms. Also, when you read the trip, you will understand why it was meant for me to shroom (I was going to skip the shrooms if I went with the 5-MeO-DMT, since I would use it for my healing.

2- At 10:30 PM I had 5.5 grams of White Lightning shrooms (They are cubes. I got the spores from a grow that I buy a lot. They had no idea about their effects and I (and others probably) were the guinea pigs. You can see a sample of this shroom in my signature. While in the FC, they did grow extremely fast. That shroom below was a pin early morning, that night, it was that big, about to release the spores. Growth and production was very high, and the shrooms had a ton of blue.

[center][image]/forums/thumbs/16-32/090652490-thumb_20160810_014409_1470867086675.jpg[/image][/center]

3- Setting was the usual. Light lunch, very light snack after lunch. Ate the shrooms in a chocolate bar in sandwich form. Melted the chocolate and coffee-grinded the shrooms. It had chocolate taste and no shroom taste. 

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[url=https://files.shroomery.org/files/16-52/292542121-20161226_223817.jpg][image]/forums/thumbs/16-52/292542121-thumb_20161226_223817.jpg[/image][/url][/center]

4- That day and the day prior I touched rock bottom in terms of happiness due to health. I suffer chronic pain and I think I am developing anxiety (despite my life is extremely peaceful, I am beyond financial comfort, and my businesses are booming and new ones to come... So I felt broken and hated my body. I was diagnosed Lorazepam to sleep that very day as I had a doctor's appointment. I told my wife, "Well, some morale to go and trip." My wife mention I was way overdue and needed the spiritual cleansing. I knew I was going to get a tough trip, but I was looking for it.

5- Wife was the sitter. She allows herself to fall asleep knowing I will wake her if I needed something. This night she knew I was going to need her help so did not sleep, but remained in bed with me.

[center][u][b]Onset[/b][/u][/center]

1- Onset was just 15 minutes. I did not finish the chocolate and I already felt I was coming up. I finished the chocolate and smoked a joint (well, just a fragment haha) watching avatar to get into the (get out from Earth) mood. After 20 minutes I went to the bathroom and when I finished, told my wife I was ready for bed, it was coming very fast.

[center][u][B] Trip - Phase One - Pouring oozy black toxic energy [B][/u][/center]

1 - This part is extremely hard to explain and it lasted about 4-5 hours. I was in some sort of dimension that was cleansing me. There was an ancient present. A shaman spirit who has been on this earth about 10K years ago. He used "raw energy" to heal. I could feel he was tearing the energy off from me. I felt was being tear down into pieces. 

2- I felt extremely grateful but I was being crushed extremely hard. This went on and on for about 5 hours. I saw black ooze coming off from me. I asked if this was me, and I was told this is all the dirt of the Earth and humanity. As a healer I heal lots, but I absorb lots also. There is way too much darkness now at Earth. I remember blowing hard many times and breathing with massive exhales, as I was releasing the energy. 

3- I had some nausea (I never do) and this nausea came every time I felt something negative. I did not want to puke to bother my wife (who was next to me without falling asleep, as her intuition told her I would need her help when I never do.) I asked her to bring me a bucket and after several attempts, I had nothing physically to puke, the shrooms were digested. I puked energy, nothing physically came out from my stomach. 

4- I made several trips to the bathroom and spent a while in the toilet, absorbing energy from my feet, getting healed by the Earth and sharing with my wife. Diarrhea was real and I felt I was cleansing toxic stuff that gets stuck in the intestines. 

5- There was no physical pain, and I was very happy, but most likely it was one of the worst trips you could ever imagine. Death is a joke, and I saw that at this moment, if things are bad in our planet, things are not good neither with higher beings. There is a massive consciousness war. I laughed a few times during this phase, as I was blown away in how my mind could handle it. I felt beyond madness, unexplainable. I could go beyond mad. I knew that Death is not a scape and I neither considered nor thought about it. I couldn't. I was being stripped so hard from my own being, that I could just stay still.

6- Everything was about to collapse. If one of my cats licked itself, it bothered me massively, or if there was a vagrant noise other than the purring from both of my cats (they knew I was being fried, and they supported) or my wife's voice. She did not say a word unless I asked.

7- My mind remembered the benzos I was just diagnosed. I could just eat a couple and slow down the madness, but I knew I was failing to receive my healing. I wanted to know the time. While my mind and soul where strong, my psyche needed at least to know the time. I was told, "Ancient shaman had no watches and no benzos. You are a modern shaman, with different traditions and a much worse energy to cleanse and heal, many more lost and suffering souls than in ancient times. All shamans go through cleanses, it is your time now. 

8- I felt very grateful and surprised, and allowed this energy to keep dismantling me down to molecules. 

[center][u][b]End of Phase One - Coments [/b][/u][/center]

1- I could share two videos. This is somewhat how I felt, but remove the pain and the bad part. I did not hurt and I needed this healing, but it was an energetic slaughter torture. 

[center]- Trip starts cute and nice, and then, the beating, and then, more beating, and then, more beathing, and then... you guessed, more beating! (Start in second 30th)

[flash=425,344]http://youtube.com/v/uw2_F0w2a6w&fs=1&autoplay=1[/flash]t=30s

- And this was done with my astral body, to shake off all the crap that attaches just for being an Earth citizen. Pay attention to Loki's face "... where... did... that... came... from... ... ..." (Start in second 15th)

[flash=425,344]http://youtube.com/v/DsUCRcK7QYc&fs=1&autoplay=1[/flash]t=15s[/center]

2- In fact, my wife believed I was having a horrible time and suffering deeply, but she knew I am strong willed, I am receiving the medicine and this time it needed to be like that. Last time I went to the bathroom and everything looked normal around me, vision was back and body felt "normal" This time, I told my wife she could tell me the time. It was 3:30 AM or so. I felt happy and healed. I surpassed the test, endured everything.

[u][center][B] Trip - Phase Two - About an hour of bliss - Rewarded [B][/center][/u]

1- I laid down in bed and I had the happy feeling shroom give, my body was floating and I felt time loops of positive moments. Don't recall what they were, nor payed much attention. I was in bliss, connected with the cosmos and the Oneness (what is normally a level 4 trip here.) I found that amusing as there was no longer psilocybin in my system. Science says: Your trip is over. Shroom says: Your trip is NOT over. 

2- I fell in several tiny positive time loops. Most of this phase, I was processing the first part of the trip. I then realized how off Western Medicine it. I knew I took a beating. It was necessary for whatever reasons. I felt happy that the shrooms go to the core of what needs to be healed, and it tramples through everything, allowing it do so it is your only chance and option. Your Free Will remains intact in the third dimension, but I believe you lose it in the 4th and the 5th, and you are at the mercy of this medicine. 

3- Western medicines hide and prolong the issue and bring new ones. Shrooms expose the core and heals the issue. But I know that you need the mental strength to do so. I went through tough trips, I read through tips here. I witnessed tough moments on others. This trip was light years away in terms of intensity. My desire to use plants to heal others grows, and so my knowledge in amazing or terrifying trips. I feel I am being taught by the shamans from 10K. 

4- My psychic cat is extremely sensitive. My other cat (not psychic) I discovered she is a tank. She soaks up so much crap and cleansing it, but healed her as she has a hard time to release all and the "dirt" is in the air anyway (aka the ridiculously insane intense trip.

5- I wanted to be morning. I wanted the sun. Looking forward to the chat with my wife, we always have a lot to talk.

[center][u][b]Notes[/b]:[/u][/center]

1- It was about 5:30 am or so and went to pee. I went back to bed and I was surprised on how long the trip was. I did not have work nor fixed plans, so I was not worried about the extended trip time. I went back to bed, assuming I would sleep.

[center][u][B] Trip - Final Phase - Time Loops of nothingness. Bouncing to and from the Dream Plane [/B][/u][/center]

1- As I laid down in bed. I felt my brain tripping. As I write this down, it comes to me that this phase was meant for subconscious cleansing and activation of hidden potentials (wow awesome!!) But I did not know this until this very moment. During the time, I would not fall asleep and suddenly, "awaken" from a time loop and realize I was still tripping. This happened several times, so I had a lot of unconscious tripping still (confirmation!) I cannot share what happened because I do not know. I also had fractions of probably minutes of sleeping (my wife was already asleep but she went once to the bathroom and I was asleep.) 

2- I went again at 7am to the bathroom to pee (I drank extra water as I sweated bricks during the trip.) I was on-off until 8 am or so that I just jumped off from bed. 

[center][u][B] The Start of a New Day [/B][/u][/center]

I was ungrounded for most of the morning. I needed the sun and the sun was not there (crappy weather) but I had a nice day out with my wife and a relaxed evening. 

I was happy from the intense healing experience I went through. Most would have called this a terrible trip, but it was what the mushrooms are supposed to do. Plant medicines are meant to heal, and if you need healing, it means you have something to deal with, and that something might not be fun. I was tortured and trapped in madness, there was no escape, not even death. Probably the benzo would have been, but it would be treason to myself. It was a test, shamans go through this every now and then. I moved to Spain about three years ago. There is little awareness about everything here, especially with psyches. So the shaman that helped me going through this was in the Astral.

Sorry for the long, long post. It is important and will open your eyes if you read it.