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Traveling through realms of the unimaginable
So let me preface by saying: I was very young and stupid at the time. I do not recommend taking such a high dose, or even taking this drug at all.
This was my 3rd psychedelic experience ever.
I was 16 at the time. I was incredibly intrigued by psychedelic substances due to my mushroom and LSD experiences in the past. I had taken 4 tabs of acid my second time, so taking 2 tabs of 25i at the time did not seem like such a huge amount. Although they where very highly dosed tabs
I was already smoking cannabis the whole time, this was my own homegrown Delahaze.
I put the tabs in my mouth around 5pm, I was sitting on my friends couch in his bedroom in the garage of his mothers house.
I held the tabs in my mouth for about 20 minutes and then swallowed all my spit with the tab in it.
I was with a friend and my friends friend, my friends friend had never seen somebody in the midst of a trip.
I ended up going outside with my friend and started talking to his brother and his brothers friend, they where very young and had just come back from school.
They where being naughty and smoking cigarettes outside my friends garage. For the sake of this story lets call my friend Sky.
while we where talking to Sky's brother I started to feel a very strong MDMA like body feeling.
We walked out to the back of his house and played on the clothes drying rack for a while.
I remember being in awe feeling like Sky was some sort of little genius, because he had his shit together while I started loosing my shit.
He also wore glasses, this could also be somewhat why I thought that.
This happened some years back so my memory of the situation is not 100%
At this point I assume we smoked a couple of joints, I was quite the cannabis fiend at the time.
We went back to his room and then shit really got real.
This was about 40 minutes after that we had first taken the tab.
I started to hallucinate heavily, Sky's face was shifting constantly, their where dragons flying out of the wall.
The music was mostly hues of yellow and blue and felt very crisp.
The next about 6 minutes of so where filled with multiple bong hits. We also ordered pizza in the midst of this all.
I remember taking a big hit from the bong and suddenly coming the the universal conclusion that there is no objective meaning to life, I was profoundly touched by the face of god.
I spent a while trying to talk about my new found revaluation but could barely speak English.
Then suddenly I was in 'heaven', I thought holy shit the Christians where right. I didn't know how I got their, then I thought, wait, to get to heaven you usually have to die first.
(it was a very cliche idea of heaven, clouds, angels, golden gates, flying babies with harps)
At the moment I thought that all the lightness turned to darkness and I was in hell. It was crazy, I started burning, I was on fire, it was painful, I fought it for a while and then accepted that this was my fate.
At the moment of accepting I was taken to a place, a dark place, I was acknowledged as accepting my fate, accepting that I would burn for eternity, and I saw about 10 000 people all gathering around small firepits inside dustbins.
A couple of people looked at me and shook their heads as to say that I should not have come there. I ended up gathering around my own little fire pit.
I started to come back to 'reality' again and found myself sitting buy a gas heater.
I took another couple of bong hits.
I sat on the couch, taking bongs with my friend, everything felt as if it was peeling back. imagine stretching your face and pretending to have botox, it felt like every single thing was doing that.
Music was playing, and I kind of recalled who i was (lol) But I looked at the time and only 20 minutes had passed.
I was dumbfounded. This was incredible. I just closed my eyes and tried listening to the music, at this point there was quite literally no difference between vision with my eyes closed or open.
after about 5 minutes of listening to music I could see me and my friend sitting on the couch from the third person, and was then snatched away from that image and taken to a different level of existence, I saw about 7 eight foot tall people sitting around me and playing pool and just chilling, almost as if they where at a party, they introduced themselves as god (lol). I was just freaked out, this was the most scary part, I couldn't speak, I was in shock, the one character I was sitting next to said "oh shit, not another tripper... What have you come here for?"
I didnt respond, I was too freaked out. This dude kinda just got annoyed, as if he could see my insecurity within that moment, and they just wanted to party and enjoy themselves, and then there was me, a nervous wreck sitting on the couch beside him and not speaking.
I was ripped out of this experience and landed back on Sky's couch. but I was not me, I was Sky, this freaked up both out at the time. and somehow, I can barely remember, I was ripped out of Sky's body again and put into the 'collective subconscious' I could see anybodies entire timelines, their entire lives in bubbles around me. I decided to take a look at my own, to analyze. I saw some memories within these bubbles of my past, and the hard experiences I had experiences.
One of the earliest memories where of somebody dying from an overdose, this was somewhat of a tear on my subconscious mind, I had many tears, Being stabbed with a broken beer bottle by my Drunk mother, witnessing my mother being abused, being rejected by girls in my past, being rejected by friends and other people I liked. All these things felt like gashes on my subconscious, but at that moment I initiated the healing process, but was also very aware that the scars would not go away, but at the very least they could heal. I felt as if I was viewing all these experiences from an objective viewpoint, I realized that it was not all done with ill intention, all these happenings happened because of sickness within humanity, not because of something I have inherently done, it was not anybodies fault, it allowed me to not feel responsible for these bad things. I forgave myself and the other people. It was hard, but necessary.
After this happened I somewhat returned to the couch with a feeling of relief. It was incredible, I felt like the healing process was begging.
I looked at the time and was like 30 minutes had passed. I asked Sky how much longer this would last, he said 6 hours.....
I was a little scared, what more could I be shown? This is too much I though, I could barely process what had happened at that point.
I was ripped out of my body again, and shown a goddess, this goddess did not speak. She was the utter epitome of beauty, I got from the experience that this was meant to be a sexual reawakening, the only issue was I had not had sex, I was in a realm where I was meant to be renewing my sexual identity, although I barely had one to begin with, When this was realized I was thrown out of the realm and bought to a place where I was shown my sexual habits of the past, which where all masturbation, I felt that I had an obsession with cumming, it was very strange and harsh to come to this realization, I felt dirty about this, I felt like a fiend, I could barely stand to watch the video of explanation in front of me. It would be like having sex when you are not ready, I was not ready to witness this sex show in front of me, I was too young, too inexperienced to truly understand or appreaciete the burlesque like light show, and sexual energies being displayed around me.
I broke out of this realm in panic and came back to the material world, I was freaked out, crying as if i had just been raped, I was afraid and nervous, after about 5m minutes I had been thrown into another realm, I fell into a loop, it felt like I had lost the reason to be, I had lost all hope, I had no idea what was happening, I was freaking out, looping in thought of how I had 'lost the plot'
Apparently the Friend of Sky's was their freaking out because I was just in a coma like state repeating 'lost the plot' 'lost the plot' 'lost the plot'
Not long after that I gave up fighting and let go.
It was bliss, I was no longer me, I was no longer in pain, I was everything. It was a transcendental experience.
I have no memory of this, but apparently Sky and his friend thought I was fucking out so they gave me an SSRI that I brought with in case, and made me drink it down with water. A little bit later I was almost entirely sober with only a little after glow, I looked at the time and it was like 9pm, I was pretty bummed because I came back to 'reality' so quickly.
Anyway, This was a very eye opening experience, and I have grown a lot since then, It was my 3rd and almost most intense experience ever, everything in my life changed after that day.
This was a few years back, and looking back I was far too reckless.
I do not condone the use of any drugs.
I have had countless experiences after this that have been far less experimental.
I hope you enjoyed the read :)
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