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Beautiful Terror

Magical Mind Manifesting Medicine and its Terrible Partner Poison



Magical Mind Manifesting Medicine and it’s Terrible Partner Poison


We stayed in wake through the long night
Wrapped in guessing conversation we contemplated
Free for once in the mind of another, we contemplated the coming light
With dull eyes dressed in purple and volition mated
We bore murmuring witness to dawn’s approach
One saving grace; he did overlook my foolish reproach

We set out on our mission
In search of cosmic intuition
As the sun chased it’s veil across the sky
The retreating clouds exposed the fields, where the families do upon lie
And each and every morning these families greet the sun
Each and every morning they greet her one by one

Tentatively scanning from clump to clump, the cattle run
Tentatively scanning from clump to clump, life’s fabric undone
Tentatively scanning from clump to clump, we’ll have some fun
Tentatively scanning from clump to clump, as I spot one
Tentatively scanning from clump to clump, the hunt is on

Like kids that relish in Easter Egg hunts, the first one found
A glorious blue majesty, to the heavens racing from the ground
Two other paddocks lay empty, but the third one abound
With treasure chests of archaic wisdom, traded off in poison
This is the Garden of Eden, the mushroom is the apple tree
Our ignorance of God’s true nature, is paradise can’t you see
Even the snake appeared, basking by fruit forbidden
Feeding off, just like the fruit, off the rays of crimson

The sky broke open as from the fields we withdrew
We hastily retreated from under crying skies once blue
I had this feeling, disquieting through and through
A feeling so deceiving and yet not untrue
We made our way back home to cook up our brew
Magical Mind Manifesting Medicine married to it’s Terrible Partner Poison

The trade off is worth it, so I did reason
My ego would reel, double edged treason
The status quo and dominator culture must maintain
The direction of the Collective, so we refrain
From the penultimate ego-less realms
Because believe me, the ego fights the death bell knells

In fear of death
It took what was left
At the level of my soul
A paradigm shift through the whole
And built my greatest wall
Before it I constantly fall

Though it seems a broader twist of fate
Laid tainted seeds of awareness in wait
For my explorers mind to open the gate
A tour of a peek into the fabric of life
But the diehard frame of my ego
In it’s dysfunctioning fear would not leave me from strife
It would not, I would not, let my games go
Anyway, so let’s start the show

It calmly consumed me, it was so slow
How gently and gradually this feeling did grow
No hallucination, no envoked perceptual lie
No distortion, just a clarity I can’t deny
Such a clarity, consensus reality I’ll decry

A trek south side of a snaking river
Sporting semi-functional abstract architecture
A couple of mischievous dopple-gangers messing with the bins
Though we made it as trivia, shock, we took it on our chins
Gently intimidated a security guard with piercingly sincere psychoticism
In retrospect this mistaken mundane mercenary
Of his accusation and of it’s subsequent event our subsequent truancy
There lies a deeper, hidden meaning beyond it’s apparent falsity
There lies an intrinsic cosmic truism
Born in and of a near tear, a shift, a chism
Between the fabric of chaos and the fabric of order
On the cusp of existence, I challenged the border
And thence appeared signs of discord and disorder
A duplicity of fate was reciprocated, reciprocated the dopple-ganger

I thought I was going to die
I thought that in omens fate did belie
For well before in the genesis of the night
Something tarried briefly in my mind’s sight
In the fields was a bone, a sign, it was all over
Calming myself, wait to see a skull, the anti four leaf clover
Then you can worry, now just get over

And I did…

Then…

Coincidence and her sister fate
Fashioned a nice little prank for me to contemplate
As I deeply terrified myself with mundanely insane neuroticism
For up upon the wall, Aboriginal art
A snake and a skull, terror ripped my being apart

Fingers down my throat, almost nothing up, it was rough
About a cup, but that was enough
Then it did start
That most gripping, intense roller-coaster part

Peakin’!!!
Freakin’!!!
Holdin’!!!

Onto what was left of reality by a thread
Onto the fear that soon I’d be dead
Sitting, staring, into South Brisbane station
In fields around me, people could sense my emotion
I carried a charged halo, an electric atmosphere
In peoples’ reactions to my presence, the magic was clear

My aura was pulsing with unseen waves of fear
While my expression lay stony blank, save the stare
Far from empty, it pointedly impaled
All who through my visual field sailed

Pulsating trails of lights
Ridiculously fantastic flights
Such are these mind blown nights
With my last iota of hope I did endeavour
To maintain a modicum of composure
And to hold onto the common sense and the closure
Of my previous exposure
And expertise

Not one death cap, guaranteed
Not one!

So into the mysterious night we proceeded
Along the trail of a mundane quest, a spirit leaded
And in moments set in dire steed, interceded

When in night’s shadow under a bridge, danger
A seedy freak, with obvious intent, crossed our way
There was no friend here not yet met, not this stranger
One subtle act, of immense impact, did smartly betray
His true nature, his true stance
As with the fire of a stabbing glance
I did repel his cowardly advance
Filled with a protecting spirit, that led me through the trance
From within me projected a spirit, that guided me through the dance

Flowing on within and without life’s grace
It took me by the hand, suddenly I knew this place
Taking me by the hand, as I looked into God’s face
The cusp of life, the meaning of the stars
Impossible enlightenment, surrounded by cars

Sitting in the back, of a newspaper taxi
Sitting in the back, my head in the clouds
Sitting in the back, the fabric tore, tore before me
Sitting in the back, the ecstasy, the ecstasy of lifted shrouds

All is flux, condensed to all but permanence
All existed on a cusp, a merging that hath hence
Been dismissed as dichotomy for logic’s expense
Chaos and order, their marriage have I glimpsed

Damn the poison that tainted the eloquence
And my memory for it’s incoherence
Of the waking dream
With levels that seem
To slip through logics’ hands like sand
Were expression simply doesn’t stand
An iota of a chance in mapping that land
Caught here is barely the essential summary of a single strand

Oh, and I remember
Oh, moments I remember
How my heart burst forth cascading torrents of love
Unworthy and blessed was I so from the heavens above
The ecstatic contentment of the tryptamine come down?
Or divinity married to poison with a yin-yang crown?

We made our way home
Under that moon crowned dotted dome
Then upon arriving, we picked ourselves up and proceeded to roam
Ignoring our protesting muscles that justly did moan
Quitting our adventure whence it came to be known
That the day’s king would soon assume his throne

Dawn came as an inexorable parade
A purple sparsely spotted canvas
Transfixed for an hour visually contemplating a kaleidoscoping mantis
Looking up, dawn’s bursting with brilliance

Gold crimson vitality, swelling in the pregnant sun
Gold crimson vitality, flooding the eyes of one
Gold crimson vitality, in awe held me dumb

Limpid lime lament
The remaining morning was spent
Letting my weakness get acquainted
With who I thought I was
Collapsing and huddled on my bed
Tears tainted with misgivings and transgressions and loss
I picked myself up to proudly hold my head

But I fell back down to cry the oceans dry
I fell back down to cry the oceans dry, my
How my heart broke through the walls of my mind
The dams burst open
A flood of memories, an inch of which I have spoken
And in the wreckage I find
Memories of drowned hope
The only way I could cope
Was to drown my fears
In an ocean of tears

Maybe the experience’s understanding and insights
Are not at all what I made them to be, forbidden divine rights
Maybe they’re nothing more than coincidence
Peppered randomly throughout a real fabric weaved of common sense
That this cosmic wind rider
What you would call a tripper
Used to build a twisted plot with an esoteric theme
The split from reality residue of a consciously convoked dream
That threatens the very axioms of the dominator culture’s regime
I think I hit a nerve, does it not seem

Maybe life’s fractal fabric appeared
In an opening third eye through which I peered
Secrets forbidden
The wind have I ridden
Blown on the steel breeze of cosmic consciousness with a fragment of my ego as a sail
You ask me why, beyond words is the reason
Anyway, this is my loquacious tale
Of the Magical Mind Manifesting Medicine and it’s Terrible Partner Poison

© SRH, 2001

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