Well, yesterday afternoon I ate between 2.5 to 3 grams of shrooms. The exact dosage could not be weighed because they were packed in honey. Well I won't give every detail of the trip, just the hilarious beginning.
I was sitting around waiting for the ride to begin when I started to think that maybe the shrooms were not really shrooms at all. Forty five minutes after my roommate and I ate, I noticed little difference in reality, other than being high from the three or four bongs we had just smoked in nervous anticipation of the trip. Suddenly I felt the urge to go number 2. Well I won't give all the details here, but everything started out normally and I went just as usual. Then as always I started to wipe myself. Then I wiped myself again, giving the customary peak at the paper to see if I had indeed cleaned my bum. I had not, so I wiped again. Then I peaked at the paper, still not clean, so I wiped again. This had not been a messy job, so the trouble with not wiping myself clean started to become extremely alarming. But I tried again, and believe it or not, I was not clean. At this point I was worried I would flood the toilet because of the overwhelming amount of toilet paper I had now used, so I flushed. Then tried several more time very carefully to wipe again, still no dice. I knew I needed a new strategy. So I took off all my clothes and filled the bathtub up. I hopped in and scrubbed myself good. At this point, my roommate had heard the toilet flush three times and the tub was now filling with water. He burst in and demanded to know if I was all right. Embarrassed I demanded that he give me some privacy. Well then I came to the brilliant conclusion that I had started to trip really hard and this was all an illusion. The funny thing is, I became so obsessed with my troubles, I forgot I was so fucked up and that my only problem was that I was so wasted. Needless to say, once my roommate intervened, I got dressed, pulled myself together and enjoyed the rest of the day. I thought someone might enjoy this bizarre trip story.