My 2 friends, D, G and I have been stoners since the age of 14. We are also very fond of our stimulants, pills, powders, etc. So naturally, we had always talked about paying a visit to Amsterdam and this November the plan came together, some 7 years after. Hallucinogens were not something we were experienced with, bar a go or 2 at Salvia Divinorum and a few tries of LSD though too mashed on everything else to really notice. So we all thought it rude not to try out some 'shrooms while in a new country. However, We'd only arrived a few hours ago and were already stoned beyond belief. We tried to go easy on the smoke, but the dutch know how to grow pot better than any of the shite we're used to getting at home, and we were fairly messed up in no time, despite holding back. Nevertheless, we'd been looking forward these shrooms, so we staggered over to the first head shop we found and bought a box of 2 mexican cubensis, both five inches long with really fat stems, intended for one dose. We cut em up and ate our shares in pieces over about an hour. Our hotel room was a complete shit-hole. We'd spared the expenses as we hadn't intended to spend much time in it. It looked like a cell in a lunatic asylum. Tiny, Four bare, white walls, no window, garish lightbulb with no shade. As we swallowed the pieces of shrooms I worried that the atmosphere of the place was the WORST possible to trip in, especially as, being from London and not very well travelled, we were suspicious of everyone in the hotel as it was such a dive. However over the next few hours I was proved wrong. The first effect I noticed was when the bunk-bed D was sleeping on turned to rubber. The steel frame bent and swayed, and when i put my hand on it I felt I could bend it. We had a Jimi Hendrix disc on the stereo and it seemed to bend and sway in time with the music. G commented that the walls would ripple when he touched it. As he said this, I began to see it too - the bare white wall seemed to be billowing in and out. Fairly soon, it turned into a patchwork, like a tartan, shifting in and out with the music. Arabic writinf appeared on the walls and headstones emerged from the carpet. This lasted about half an hour While D appeared not to feel any affects throughout, (possibly because he had eaten a large pizza beforehand, possibly as he is taller and heavier than me and G) G and myself became very giggly. The visuals subsided for a while, and we for some reason began singing that "United states of Whatever" song, and "Fuck da Police" and generally babbling nonsensical shit to each other. This felt like hours, but could only have been about a half hour. I remember hearing some more british guests passing the door outside and laughing at what they could hear inside. We of course told them to fuck da police I remember finding all this so funny I fell backwards off the bed onto the floor in fits of laughter, though the floor felt more like a trampoline. Whilst lying on my back, looking up at the ceiling, the visuals began to creep up again. There was a fan on the ceiling, and though I knew it was not wired up, it began to spin, and the whole ceiling began to move sideways. It looked like one of those airships from the Final Fantasy games - and the propellers multiplied. We were still chatting fairly coherently while all this was going on and I never felt lost or out of control, though all the time I could see airships flying overhead. Closed-eye visuals became extremely vivid, and could see vast landscapes of mountains, gardens and forests. Girrafes and elephants. Yet I was still coherent. I was telling G about "Viz", a comic we have in England that he'd never read, and describing all the characters and the jokes. In fact, I was doing most of the talking for what must have been about another half hour. I was surprised that he was extremely interested and found it very funny - as he kept asking me to tell him more. When we'd exhausted this tangent, the really trippy bit kicked in. Dead in front of me was the said blank white wall. I began to notice all the little imperfections and marks on the wall in great detail. Soon, shadows crept up the wall and before long, I found myself fixated on it. I could still hear and talk to my friends, but could not take my eyes off the wall. A huge, great pulsating creature with about seventeen heads and tentacles pushed its way through the wall as if it was cling-film and I could only think that it was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. Smurfs were running along the ground beneath it, playing cricket. Everything sounded as if we were under water - indeed, this thing looked like it could inhabit the ocean. Fairly soon it backed away into a huge rotating tube with arabic writing all around its edges. (I had seen this tube before while using Salvia Divinorum some months ago) The whole thing turned into a huge spiderweb. The beauty of the tentacled creature was indescribable and I reached out to touch it - I felt like it was trying to communicate somehow with me. Telling me that we'll meet again someday but I'm not ready yet. Then it began to move far away, back into the wall. When it disappeared out of view, who should appear but none other than SPIDERMAN! He had his arms up in celebration and was dancing around in time with the Orbital CD we had put on some time ago. I remember describing this whole part of the trip to D& G as it unfolded. D, not feeling much effect, was a little concerned by the way I was pointing, motionless abd open mouthed, at a blank wall, for more than fifteen minutes. He suggested we go for a walk, and as the visuals were now begginng to fade away, I agreed. We didn't walk anywhere in particular. It was somewhere between 2 and 4am and the streets were still fairly crowded. While the visuals soon subsided once out in the cold fresh air, it did seem very other worldly. We passed a toy shop near the Dam- square, with a huge inflatable Spiderman doll stuck to the window, and I had to stare at it for some minutes before I could decide if it was real or not. Yet somehow, the first spiderman seemed more real to me, while this one was merely made of platic. All I could say was "I knew Spiderman would come into it" I dont remember much of that night after Spiderman's second appearance, but i remember waking up feeling thoroughly refreshed, almost regretting not eating more mushrooms last night. However, the trip was extremely pleasant for not ONCE did I feel out of control and I could take a peek at the real world anytime I pleased. My mind seemed to totally have control of what I saw, thought and felt, and this is something I cannot even say about marijuana. G and I couldn't get over how great these mushrooms felt. So perhaps our caution paid off. We all agreed that we would like to try a higher dose next time, epecially D, on whom they seemed to have little effect. I felt the effects wore off too soon due to the low dose. Probably because I loved it so much. Although while short they were more intense than expected, maybe due to what we had smoked before and during the trip. It was an incredible experience, and possibly the most enjoyable drug experience yet for me. Interestingly, we were all a little bit paranoid and insecure before eating them, and were almost hesitant, wondering whether it was a good idea. Worried, even, about the consequences - what if any of us had a bad trip? What if it messed up our minds? After all, weren't we stoned enough already? After eating them, all the fears and forebodings melted away and we felt totally safe in this wonderful city, and continued to have a brilliant weekend. No comedown the next day, no hangover, no depression or paranoia. Definitely no jaw-ache. Forget your shitty pills, the best drugs come out of the ground, as the lord himself intended.