It is hard to believe that my last DMT experience was at the beginning of March. I guess this is mainly due to the fact that my GF (I'll refer to her as "A" from now on) have been eating a lot of mushrooms lately. We've almost diminished our harvest of golden teachers from earlier this year. I'm happy to say that we will be tasting a few different strains in the months to come. A little penis envy, some B , and PES Hawaiians! This information has no real relevance to the experience I'm about to share but hey, you clicked the link so now you must take the ride!
Anyway, I've been trying to get myself to smoalk again and if you have ever read any of my other reports then you know that that is no small feat. So after days of planning and a couple days where I just chickened out altogether, we arrive here and now.
Courage is a funny thing, especially when it comes to the DMT experience. As I walked around my house today, I found myself wondering what I could possibly be so afraid of...is it even fear that I am experiencing? When I ride a roller coaster, I feel something similar but are they the same...? I came to the conclusion that to feel exhilaration one MUST take the plunge. This is nothing new. I know this. There are always risks involved. But it never stops me from wondering about it constantly. I mean, I can actually die if something goes wrong on a roller coaster ride, but I cannot physically die from the effects of DMT. Somehow or another this information soothes me.
So yeah, as soothing as that is, DMT still scares the shit out of me. I can't help it, it just does. It doesn't mean that I'll stop exploring, but it definitely helps regulate the frequency in which I visit. I even thought about jumping right back in after tonight's experience but then I talked myself out of it. I have a lot to process already so jumping right back in would only add to the information overload I already intercepted. Enough is enough for one night I concluded. So onto the report:
I wanted to test a bit of the fluffy white freebase I had so I decided to mix 11mg up with 89mg of my changa. This is not the best way to test it on it's own but it did the job and packed one hell of a punch.
I laid in bed under the covers for an hour before I ever set the bong to my lips, trying to get my mindset right. "A" got me a Tibetan singing bowl for Christmas last year and I had not used it for any of my journeys until now. There it sat off to the left of the bong waiting to resonate. I hit it a couple times to let the resonating frequency reverberate around the room, hopefully clearing any negative energies. The sound is very relaxing, mesmerizing even.
I flicked the lighter and began to pull on the cone, slowly but surely the smoke billowed inside the bong and once it was cashed I pulled it and ripped it hard. I set the bong down quickly and gave the singing bowl one last whack as I laid down and closed my eyes.
I instantly felt the pressure begin to build. It always startles me how intense the bodily sensations are. I felt like I was being crushed and deafened at the same time, the carrier wave was loud and it interacted with the resonance of the singing bowl in a way I can't really describe. Just imagine two twisting and turning energies swirling about but never touching yet somehow being one...if that makes any sense. This was all audio too, I couldn't see the energies but I could hear and feel them intertwining. Mind you, this was all within the first minute or so if I were to guess.
The ringing got louder and louder to the point where I thought I couldn't possibly take anymore and then it faded as quickly as it came. This part of the experience is very fuzzy probably because I put too much in the bong to begin with. I didn't realize where I (there really was no "I" at this point) was until I started coming out of it. It was the ocean of information in which I have been before, many times.
This is really hard to describe but as I was coming out of the ocean "they" (whomever "they" are, I am uncertain) where telling me why we humans can never CLEARLY remember. They wanted for me to remember but at the same time they were telling me it would be impossible....This is also ironically where I suddenly remembered everything I had seen on previous trips. It all made perfect sense. I did remember but was also forgetting at the same time. I tried to retain it but I guess this is what "they" were getting at....
I had been in the breakthrough ocean before on multiple occasions, I just always forget. "They" literally pointed that out to me.
I have come to the conclusion that it is a feminine energy that is perhaps the gatekeeper and guide of this ocean, and there are many little "worker" beings that maintain and manipulate the space inside. I have never met this feminine energy face to face, so to speak, but we have definitely interacted in some way....perhaps it isn't a "they" after all...more like a "she" ... I don't know honestly because it always happens so fast. I'll need a decoder ring and a translator to keep up. It is hard to pinpoint who or what she is, but each time I go, I feel she is letting me in on a little more of the bigger picture.
Speaking of the bigger picture, at some point on the way-ish down, I opened my eyes only to find that these little "worker" beings were trying to hide something from me by flashing crazy colored ribbons in front of my eyes so that I couldn't see anything at all. Every time I blinked, the image would change and I was visually blocked from seeing what was behind the ribbons. Maybe it was just an act or maybe they were just showing off. But they were so fast that I could never really get a good look at them. After blinking a few more times, I was finally able to see bits and pieces of my bedroom starting to assemble themselves in a weird, extra dimensional sort of way.
Maybe they were protecting me from something I shouldn't see yet, or maybe it means nothing. All I know is that it felt weird to be blocked like that right after being told how to remember and then forgetting almost instantly what was said. It is like some sort of comedic universal irony.
"Here is what you've forgotten and here is why/how you forget. Now remember this even though you can't/won't. Try...try...try..."
I don't know what to make of all this but I am glad to have jumped on the horse again. I have a lot to think about, and that is the beauty of it. Never stop learning. Never forget. Smoalk moar.
Thanks for reading!
-The Grateful One-
Side note: This is a report that I shared on other forums but I like to get many perspectives so I'm sharing it here too! oh, and if this should be moved to "other substances" I understand. I'm still new to posting at the shroomery after all!