i was playing a show in Rochester, MN. The sound guy hooked up a $60 bag of mushrooms. Mostly Dust. 1/4 heads/stems. I was ready to ride the lightning. Before we could even make it back to the twin cities I downed the bag in the gas station bathroom no chase.
It kicks. I hit light speed. Everything is trailing, we are traveling 60mph in the van/tralier. Listening to documentaries about gangus kong. Its star wars in this time machine. I look to Gamble, and tell him I am hitting the fan, he's syked. He reassures me ill be okay as I stare at him with the biggest eyes I remember seeing myself in the rear view mirror staring into my unleashed being.
we get home, after tripping my balls off listening to war stories visualizing the most gruesome epic battle scenes as if I peaked into history using these visuals. Im floating in this van I can't feel anything, literally having the ride of my life. I know I'm tripping, everythings okay. It was completely shocking and straining to see all of this as i close my eyes to hold in my nausea. The narrator was good to say the least. what a movie in my head i encountered hearing all of that.
we get home, its 2am. Complete blackness. Its raining and chilly autumn weather in MN. I stretch myself out of the van, smell the air and feel the rain. I am one with my surroundings and feel the evil of the night. I feel possessed beyond this point. I have entered into a very focused determined mind state wanting to just feel in complete control. I release the tension I feel inside smiling at the band mate's house I'm staying at, he knows i am just out of this world. He shits his pants learning i ate the whole bag i showed him. He says to hold on. Im like, dude I'm all here. ready to rip. he's drunk and in a anxious state of eagerness stumbling to find the door key, (his roommate said it was under the rug the next morning)..he grabs the ladder and climbs up the window. it was this huge ordeal i was too in tune of what matters and what doesn't to even give a whit. I start learning my breathing is in complete power of my entire body, I NEED TO BREATH. I learn to feel every drop that fills my lungs. And immediately regret everything I've ever smoked. and apologize in my mind to my body and feel very sorry about hurting myself. Later i see my hands and feel the same way. "why am i so damn hard on myself" is the thought.
I then sit on the couch, sinking, further, further, its grabbing me, my ears are singing with static tones. I then start staring slowly at it all, feeling deeper and deeper into the slowest vibration...i look at my hands and tell my bandmate "I see myself aging slowly, i watched the crevises of my hands dance like river beds and wrinkle with movement. "...then i realize i am being slowed down to the most calm/low vibration of existence. i start breathing with everything around me, slowly and deep. I can feel my whole body process, all the circulation running down my spine. Its as if I'm being peeled out. I close my eyes and get couch locked. Start entering the void. it is faster than anything accelerating I've ever experienced. I get deeper and deeper. but peak my eyes open to see everything FASSST forwarding to the time frame reality is in..as i keep drifting further and further out of it...this shit goes on for 7 hours. I experience the complete ego death, reflected upon all my experiences good and bad and all the in-between. It was a 10* therapy session to say the least. EAT THESE TO FEEL GOOD! Such power and healing i acquired and such love from pain. The rollercoaster effect to the max. (next morning was a complete eye sobbing loving of life asha moosha schpeel to everyone).
I was on the brink of grabbing a knife to end the trip as i endured a extensive all night trip into the morning. I wanted to kill myself but felt the extreme unrelenting pain my folks, and everyone i love and loves me would have to endure. we are all here to serve the slightest amount of purpose. this is all one big game but we all have to play. don't think for one moment you don't mean anything. we are all here to serve each other and share love. in the simplest form. its one big spider web for the end of time. I'm having a hard time really explaining details of my visuals during this 5gram of shroom/dust trip.
extreme spirals, colors i could not believe to see, i do feel i experienced pure love in its solid form. i dug very deep into this ego death. i want to go further and have not yet.
I should have grabbed a pen and paper and started drawing random shit though through the trip, something to document would have been nice. But I will forget remember the feeling during/post trip. An unrelenting reassurance of purpose in this life. We all are indeed apart of something cognitive in reliance of each other.
Is this all crap or what. Leave a comment below. SPILL IT!