I am no
stranger to drugs. I first started smoking cannabis when I was 14 years old and
my curiosity was peaked. I wondered how much further I could push the envelope
and for me, at least, it seemed instinctual that I try psychedelics. I was
never curious about narcotics but eventually, they did find me, but that is a
story for another day. I tried LSD for the first time when I was 17 and from
that moment on, my world was shifted in a new and beautiful way. After that, I
used LSD about 10 times and then stumbled onto the lectures of the late and
great Terence Mckenna who had become a paterfamilias to many psychedelic
explorers of a generation that was still in diapers when his best lectures were
taking place, myself included. I was always curious about his speeches about "The
Other", as he called it, that he experienced on mushrooms. Perhaps my experiences
were influenced by him or perhaps they weren't. I have no idea. However, about
3 years after my initial acid experience, I finally got to try shrooms and the
first few times were very uncomfortable. As soon as I peaked, I would always
feel this organic intelligence that was not my own; it wasn't overpowering but
it was definitely there and it made me uneasy to feel something else guide me.
I eventually came to terms with it and I rather enjoyed its company in the next
30 shroom trips that I had (doses were between 2 to 4 grams but usually 4
grams). I then decided to try Mckenna's "Heroic Dose" in silent darkness.
I
picked out two particularly large shrooms from 100 grams that I purchased. They
weighed 5.5 grams combined and I decided that they would be the ones to push me
further. Eating that amount was no easy matter; the earthy taste was almost
overwhelming but I was focused. I needed to see what Mckenna was talking about.
I laid on my bed, the room was completely dark and I smoked a pre-rolled joint. I
thought about my life, what I wanted to achieve and just mentally preparing
myself. After about 30 minutes, disturbances in my visual field became apparent
against the blackness. They were akin to phosphenes but had a linear quality
and seemed to be jigging from side to side. Then came the body load, it was
heavier than usual. I felt myself sinking into the bed and start spinning.
There was no nausea but I was spinning with ever increasing speed. The visuals
started, the phosphenes were exploding in colors that ranged from orange to
yellow to red and then they interconnected to form complex geometrical shapes
that morphed from one state to another. The earthy colors and out-of-focus
geometrical hallucinations that are apparent on lower doses were replaced by
clear-cut right angles and odd triangular faces that flowed with bright colors.
I became cocky and mentally asked, "Is this all that 5 grams has to offer?". I
was instantly met with scorn; my body started vibrating and shaking while an
insect-like voice scolded me in a buzzing language that I did not understand.
It sounded like, "kwwoooorrr, qrik krawk kwooor". Even though I did not
understand the words, I immediately got the mental impression that I needed to
be patient. The feeling of "The Other" was overwhelming at this point and I
found myself praying for forgiveness and mercy. I was humbled and somewhat
afraid because I realized that there was no escape. I had to endure the
experience; come whatever may. The visuals became more intense and then there
was a discrepancy. The geometry and colors had formed into a solid and yet,
ever-changing, structure. It was dome-like with a solid floor and walls that
would come to a point in the top. I tried to move but I was held down by straps
constructed out of the same material as the floor and the walls. I realized
that I was tied to a table and 4 distinct straps were holding me there in an
upright position; I felt that this "table" was turning to the right and there
was an entity there. It was a green mantis-like creature with knees that bent
backwards and claws that only had three fingers and a thumb. Its head was
elongated like the skulls found in Peru and it had no facial features but
rather a red carapace that almost looked like the shape of the transformers
icon. I felt an intelligence behind the carapace that was far older, smarter
and more evolved than I was. I felt no fear and I found that this creature was
curious as to who I was. It moved its face from side to side as it observed me.
It never spoke to me but I got these strange mental impressions.
"Who
are you and what are you doing in our space?"
"I am
trying to understand." I replied.
The
creature then looked back over her shoulder and I became aware of five others
that were standing behind a panel that looked to be made of the same material
that the floor and walls were made of but there was a distinct red button that
was standing out in the middle of the panel. The creatures were of different
colors and sexes. The first one was blue, the second green, the third (standing
in front of the button) was a dark blue, the next was green and the last was
blue. Even though they never spoke, I recognized that the blue ones were male
and the greens were female. The third, which stood in front of the button, was
the leader and emanated power. At the gesture from the female who stood in
front of me, the third male pushed the red button. I looked down and saw the
floor morph into these tubes that seemed to have created themselves from the
same "substance" that the room was made of. There were two and they pierced my
ankles and wriggled through my legs and up to my brain like snakes. I felt no
pain and no fear, they were trying to understand me as much as I was trying to
understand them. However, I did feel these tubes as constructs moving through
my body; it was peculiar. I felt them wriggle to my neck, one on each side of
my spinal cord and then they pierced my brain. The room disappeared and I was
lost in a slideshow of my memories; everything from being born to learning how
to walk to where I was now. All my memories displayed to these creatures. When
the slideshow got the point where I met the entities, it stopped and I felt the
tubes retracted. The female said something to me in their strange insect language
and I felt the straps give way. I sunk through the floor and shot my eyes open
on the bed. I was freaked the fuck out; my primate brain could not understand
what just had taken place and the closest resemblance that I could find was the
typical "alien abduction" scenario.
I
rushed out of the room and met my uncle who was still deep into his 4-gram
trip. I could not explain it to him and didn't want to since I did not want to
ruin his experience. I retreated to the bedroom and processed what I just had
experienced.
To this
day I don't know if this was a purely personal subjective experience or if
someone else, apart from McKenna, experienced something along these lines. If
you had to ask me if I felt that it was "real", I would tell you that it was
more "real" than anything I have ever experienced and it was so powerful that I
would never forget it. Would I try it again? Sure, however, I was scared of the
"Heroic Dose" for a long time and only took 5 grams again almost a year later
and under very different circumstances.
I
believe that there are forces in nature that we do not have the ability to
understand yet but there is much that we can learn from these compounds that
have profound effects on the human consciousness. Have a good time and trip
safe, my friends.
Let me
know if there is any info that you'd like or questions. J
