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Horror trip on 200 microgram 1P-LSD

I thought I'd die

This is my first trip report so I hope this won't turn out too bad.

Let me start out by saying that I'm fairly new to LSD or to be precise 1P-LSD. I've never had actual LSD, though the experiences I've had so far on 100 µg were very similar if not the exact same as people reported about actual LSD. I usually call it LSD so don't get confused if I talk about LSD instead of 1P-LSD all of a sudden.

I'm not someone who wants to get fucked up or just wants to be cool by using LSD, I use it to experience something greater, become more creative and just think about life and how I can become a better person. And of course, I just love listening to music on LSD.

I probably shouldn't have taken LSD that day since the setting and my overall mood was just too wrong. I've had a bad day at school and I just recently had a big argument with a friend which really upset me. So I came home, didn't feel too well that day so I slept until my mom got home at 7pm and we ate together. Now I wasn't hungry anymore and felt good. I wanted a stronger trip because I thought I had built up a tolerance and I needed more to get the same effects I used to have. The last trip was rather weak and short. So I took the LSD (2 blotters with 100µg each). This was my first strong trip!

I put it under my tongue for 20 minutes ( it was 7:45 pm at this point) and swallowed it with mango juice. After 10 more minutes I started to feel the first effects, My belly was kinda numb, it wasn't uncomfortable though. I was a little more shaky than usual and my heart started racing a little. My eyes dilated really strong like always though usually its a very uncomfortable feeling for the first few minutes. This time it I barely noticed them getting bigger.

I turnt my lava lamps on, watched Beetle Juice and sat down. All of a sudden I had a HUGE orgasm just by sitting. I always get a orgasm after a while but this one was intense. I was glad nobody saw me because I just couldn't hide my facial expressions. I felt my heart was racing much faster and harder than usually. I knew something was going terribly wrong.

My lava lamps suddenly had fishes inside swimming up and down. At one point a little bit of wax even went through the glass of the lamp and back inside. 

It was about 8:20 pm when I had a much stronger and intense trip than I've ever had before and it would still get more intense for the next 2 hours. I became anxious and tried to calm down. I turn Beetle juice off since it disturbed me really bad. I looked for the meditation music I downloaded a while ago but this still made it worse. I've tried a lot of music that used to calm me down but nothing would help. This went on until 9:20 pm. At this point I was really freaked out. I went to my mum and said good night since I didn't want to say good night when I was on my peak. I knew I wouldn't be able to speak to her and I was afraid she'd call the ambulance. She noticed right from the beginning I was extremely pale and nervous. I tried not to look her into the eyes and she gave me some vitamins because she saw I was shaking.
Then she said I should call her when I feel I'd need an ambulance. This freaked me out a little more but I tried to calm me down by saying "No everythings fine haha".

Now I was in my room and listened to music. I constantly had to think about how intense this trip was and that I couldn't handle it. I thought about KILLING MYSELF. Of course I knew I was on a trip so I could just ride it out. But the though of 2 or 3 more hours (I couldn't tell the time at this point) getting a much more intense trip than I already had freaked me out. It was pure horror and fear of death. I thought I could get a heart attack anytime though people on reddit told others that nobody has ever gotten a heart attack from LSD.

The music wasn't enjoyable at all anymore. I just saw the music waves rushing on the ground. It was so weird I cannot explain it other than it was breaking apart and that I could see it on the floor (it was a black string moving in a wave). The walls bend and breathed and the room turnt into a vomit green color.  At this point I tried to look for a way online to end the trip (I heard Xanax can end it but I didn't have any). People simply told me to ride it out or about something that was nearly impossible for me to get at this point. The horror trip went on until 10:10 pm when I finally felt a relief! Music was all of a sudden enjoyable as it was on my previous trips. The colors were beautiful and I was finally calm. The peak was over after a little more than 2 hours. I was still higher than usually but it was controllable and calm.

I listened to music and did what I usually do. Think about life, be creative (draw etc.) and just watch music videos. I was SO RELIEVED. The horror trip was finally over. I had a nice trip until 3 am in the moring and I became more and more tired though I was wide awake. At 4 am I went to bed and tried to sleep though I was awake for a few more hours. I had the weirdest and "scariest" visuals in my mind. People were summoning devils in my mind and spoke a language I've never heard before. It didn't scare me but I knew it was supposed to be scary. I still saw lips and eyes all over my skin and everywhere I looked.

Now I know that I cannot handle 200 µg of LSD and I will probably wait a while until I drop another 100 µg blotter. But I will always only take THAT much no matter how weak the trip will become. I realized how dangerous those psychedelics can be if used in the wrong setting and mood. I will research for things to take to end a trip since I am afraid that something like that will happen to me again.
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