Liquid Psilocybin - First shroom trip - I Experienced Death...

Originally I posted this on Bluelight, but thought you guys might also want to read about the experience. Although I didn't have intense hallucinations, the high itself was indescribable, and I experienced what basically amounts to a feeling of death. Due to the intensity I feel it's appropriate to put it into level 4. Note I'd eaten almost nothing the for the day of the trip, and it started at midnight, it had been over 12 hours since I ate anything substantial, I felt this would intensify the effects, and I believe it did...

 I got some psilocin extract from a friend; it appeared to be about 20 ml or so and was in a bottle with a dropper. The source is a pretty reliable vendor on the dark internet, although I haven tested it,  pretty sure its pure. I would be taking this alone, my only other experience had with psychedelics was 2 smaller doses of LSD. Everyone in the house was asleep. The experience about was extremely powerful. It might look daunting seeing how long it is, but I definitely feel that it worth the read. I decided to do a trip report as it was happening, recording my experience as I went, but this is heavily revised because a lot of what I typed was poorly written and full of gibberish and mistakes after a certain point. This is the story of when I died on shrooms...

11:30PM: I took the psilocin liquid, I started out by taking about 1/2 of the bottle with the intention of taking the rest within a couple of minutes. This was just to make sure I didnt get an upset stomach, I was told the entire bottle is about the equivalent of 2.8g of shrooms. I also considering smoking some weed; I decided to hold off on that because I want to feel the effects of shrooms alone, but I will probably smoke later in the night after it kicks in. For several days before Ive been taking piracetam because I heard that it can increase the effects.

11:45PM: No noticeable effects yet, I suspect the weird feeling I have right now is just placebo. At this point it feels like I in the clear to take the rest. I took the other half of the bottle with some strawberry Fanta.

11:55PM: I definitely beginning to feel a lightness, at the same time, I feel sort of heavy, I dont really want to move. Id rather just relax in my chair and enjoy the ride.

12:00AM: The colors arent noticeably brighter, but I feel a very strange head high. Its more difficult to maintain my balance. I find it difficult to focus on things, quickly looking at bright lights leaves me a

little dizzy.

12:05AM: I find myself very smiley and slightly disoriented almost like alcohol. Ive felt several almost electrical shock like feelings that seem to start in my neck and travel up and through my cheeks it seems to happen when I quickly change my focus to something bright like screens. I think a minor euphoria might be coming on.

12:10AM: decided to start loading a bowl. It feels strangely, very easy to turn my head side to side, the effects are almost sort of intoxificating like alcohol. I briefly decided to test my voice to see if it was slurred. It seems pretty clear to me though. I got a message from a girl I like, and I was overjoyed to see it. I felt very confident to say anything to her. I felt extremely into the conversation and felt really attracted to her. Not sexually or anything, just like giving her a hug and talking to her.

12:25AM: The effects havent intensified much more, just sort of gradually . I certainly dont feel graceful. I decided to try focusing on a wall, in my paripherals, there are some minor hallucinations. Im having difficulty typing, easily ending up typing something unintended or getting sidetracked. I find myself moving around a lot. My muscles are much weaker at the same time. Doing pull ups is impossible. Its very difficult to focus on one thing.

12:35AM: Still havent smoked, cant quite tell what Ive been doing, messaging this person is pretty much the only thing Im doing right now.. I feel a strange sense of not be able to clearly picture myself doing things, such as walking to the bathroom. It simply is not a clear thought, and seems kind of far from reality. It seems so far away, similar to the way you might picture yourself walking down the streets of some foreign country, you can imagine it. Going to the bathroom seems the same. When I focus on something I start to feel the most intoxicated. I quickly pull myslelf out of it. My hands seem huge. Visually, Im not experiencing much though other than some minor waves in the walls and not totally understanding the sizes of things.

12:45AM: my pupils are massive. I feel slightly clumsy. If I focus really hard on doing things properly its easy, but if I do it subconcioulsy I will make a mistake. Ive spent too much time typing and kind of lost myself in it. Its essentially taken up 15 minutes that quickly slipped away. Im pretty entranced by it. Notably the edges are sharper, the lights are a little lighter, but the darks are much much darker. My perception of time is all wacked out.

1:30AM Wow, its been quite the hour. I feel really happy. The weed synergized amazingly. Good god did I lose track of the time!?!?! Hahaha. I turned on the music. Its great. I lost myself in a conversation with a girl, I feel like I can share anything with her. Everything is also crazy sharp; my vision is very very good in the dark. I feel like I have cat vision. Im typing very slow and notably I feel that when Im typing Its kind of like Im typing with my pure self like Im connected to the keyboard. My thoughts while slightly slower, are very very clear. I can see into the darkness out my window with lots of clarity. There is no haze in my vision whatsoever. Everything is extremely clear. I actually typed this part over the course of a while. Note I only see the slightly more intense distortions in spots I am not focusing. Im probably going to take another hit or two off my bong.

1:49AM I find myself extremely interested in other peoples lives. I find myself very interested in talking to people. Only have got one person to talk to, and they want to sleep, we talked about weed, she does not know Im on shrooms. Left the window open. My torso didnt feel cold at all but my nose and my fingers are. Feeling nauseas... A little nauseas.

"2:00AM: Its difficult to stay up and not slump over.. Moving.. hard to type fuck, debilitating. Ringing in the ears. Cold face, goaind afh get watterr. fuck"

This is the last thing I typed before it happened. The rest takes course over between 5 to 10 minutes...

It was similar to the feeling of standing up after laying down for a while and your vision fades and you feel nauseas, I felt like the same sort of nausea, it slowly intensified over this time. My face was sweating profusely, yet I could feel the cold in my fingers and face from leaving the window open for so long. I was still trying to type, even when it became debilitating. I couldnt stay upright, I was clumsily bumping into the computer desk and probably making a lot of noise. I decided I needed to put my head down. I couldnt fight it. I put my head down like I was playing heads up seven up and closed my eyes. I saw a kaleidoscope of yellow, red and green. The kaleidoscope was hard to focus on. They were flashing and difficult to make out clearly. I must have had my head down for a good 20 seconds. The sounds were quickly fluctuating almost from a booming to a high pitch sound and for a minute it sounded like I was hearing drum beats.

I decided I was too hot, I needed to go the bathroom. I grabbed my water bottle and began to stumble toward the bathroom. I remember questioning whether or not I was dying. Was the source bad? Did I take an RC? It likely was pure, my source was pretty reliable (a pretty credible and renowned vendor on the dark internet), but it was very difficult to think and my thoughts were moving very slowly. I remember leaning up against a shelf and thinking, "Jesus, I really want this to be over, damn whats happening" My hearing was quickly fading, I tested my hearing by saying the first thing that came to my mind. "fuuck". I could tell my ears were very discombobulated. It sounded like my ears were full of water and the sound was also really quiet. I stumbled to the door and opened it, and then saw pitch blackness in the hallway. I thought, "{Well that ok, you didnt actually lose all of your sight, its just dark in the hallway." Then I took a step or 2 to get to the bathroom door, I opened it up and flipped on the light. I saw almost nothing, just a faint yellowness, this shocked me. My vision was almost completely gone. Then I couldnt fight the nausea anymore. I took a step backwards toward my doorway and began to lose my balance. Then I tried grabbing the doorway to keep my balance. I dont know how hard I was holding on, and my whole memory of this is fuzzy. I eventually slid down and slumped onto the floor, my leg was contorted back into a kind of awkward position. The ringing and booming in my ears became very loud, clashing, staticyness, and rapidly fluctuating booms, I may have been seeing kaleidoscopic patterns for a second before I totally lost consciousness.

My eyes jolted open! I thought "What the fuck am I doing on the floor." I was laying, half in the hallway, half in my room. I can't quite tell or remember what I'd felt like when I was losing the last bit of my consciousness, but I'd felt sort of like I'd disintegrated. Now I was back. I dont know how long I was laying down I suspect it was anywhere between 5 seconds to 30 seconds. It felt like I had just woken up in the morning after a long sleep. Although at the same time it felt like I only had my eyes closed for a couple of seconds. I got up and grabbed my water bottle. I was still struggling to see, my ears were still ringing, but I felt really at peace and relieved, I was no longer energetic, just very, very lucid and calm.

I filled up my water bottle, and looked at myself in the mirror. I contemplated what had happened. I felt as if what I had experienced was death, or at least what death feels like, and although sort of debilitating, it was not that scary. I thought, "Wow, that's it?" I can't describe what I felt at that moment, but something clicked, and all of a sudden I was at peace. Perhaps I saw a bright light, but the memory is pretty fuzzy and I lost it almost immediately after it happened. I managed to make my way back to my room and chugged down my water. I sat down in my chair and had to take a breather..

 Then I decided I needed to record what happened in case I forget, and I was right, the memories began to slip away rapidly, particularly the order they happened in. The nausea began to fade and I was sort of freaking out and considering taking my temperature or some ibuprofen because I felt so hot, I took off my jacket and shoes because I decided I would take a cold shower, then I considered what time it was and it seemed like a bad idea. but then I cooled down pretty quickly. The ringing was still happening, but it began to fade over the course of the next hour. I felt extremely lucid and had a strong peace of mind. I wasnt scared at all about what had happened and actually saw it in a positive light strangely. I worked on typing this up until about 3:30 in the morning, constantly struggling to stay focused on one thing and constantly forgetting what Id been thinking or typing about. After all that time I only wrote down about a half a page, it was a pitiful amount of progress that kind of amounted to gibberish at times.

I was curious about what triggered it. I suspected the weed might have sent me over the top. I decided to smoke a little more to see if that was the culprit, I took 2 hits and the ringing intensified slightly, I only smoked enough to see if that really was the reason, I would hate to go into another future mushroom trip not know if it would happen again, but I feel its fairly safe to say it wont next time as long as I dont take more than one or two hits, but chances are I will stay away from weed during psychedelic experiences period after this. I decided to turn on the TV. After all of this I was feeling kind of skittish. I turned on the TV and wasnt really tripping, but the characters noses, eyes, glasses etc would seem really big or small. Their face would seem big or small and some of the characters were kind of freaking me out. I turned on South Park and layer down in bed, looking at the wall I saw some more faint kaleidoscopic colors, still red yellow and green, and in my peripherals it seemed like the paint globs on the wall were like waves in water. Eventually I ended up lying down and falling asleep around 4:30, that hour passed incredibly fast.

I woke up around noon the next day.Now it's 2:10PM as I type this. I don't really feel much of a comedown. I feel pretty normal, but overall feel slightly different, I have the feeling that says, "I know I took something". I don't really know what to take away from this. If theres any new updates I'll be sure to post them in the comments.

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