Philosophical mushroom trip

Hello fellow traveler.

This was my second trip in the last 5 years and there were no other trips before, I'm 29 now, first one was 5 grams of hawaiians, and all I can remember feeling euphoric for a couple of hours.

The second trip was... more revelatory.
I read a lot of non-fiction and in our world I'm what is called a philosopher. If you know who Rust Cohle is then that would give you a clue of what kind of person I am. Not a jolly person, but can fake it.

So. In the very morning without having a breakfast I have ingested 10 grams of psilocybe atlantis truffles. They had a nutty flavor, reminded me of macadamia nuts.

Almost an hour later nothing, bewildered I went with my daily routines, then another half an hour later I noticed that sensation I was waiting for, slight haziness like if you had a beer.

I like to think of hallucinogens as amplifiers, that is the best term I can think of, still I know that they are more than that. A hallucinogen I feel is a derogatory term.

Next thing I sat into a half-lotus position and began to meditate, that was the whole point all along, to take a mild dose and amplify the effect of meditation.
Of course here I was wrong.

I practice a breathing meditation, what you do is just concentrate on your breathing to hinder your mind/ego from interfering with your consciousness.

What happened was my breathing obtained a form of a gooey substance, sticking to the sides of my throat and lungs - slowly loosing its mass and then vanishing altogether. Here I understood that this will not work as I simply cannot contain whatever is transpiring and will have to relax and go with the trip wherever it will take me.

Throughout the whole trip my spectator, my mind, was awake and aware of mostly everything.

It is really hard to explain what I felt though, it is certainly indescribable but I will try nonetheless. You know they say the mushroom trip comes in waves? It certainly feels that way, but I would add that it is the mind that makes it so when things go farther than the mind would like it, think of it like a braking system in a car, the mind can't just stop the trip but it can use brakes to steer it a little. Of course that was my impression.

Now, there wasn't any prominent visual images but quite a lot of mental images, like there was an eye inside my mind peeking into another dimension, and I believe that is what really happened. I visited an alien dimension, not like in the movies, but completely and utterly different from ours, a dimension on an indescribable level. The closest I can relate it to is the ocean in Lem's Solaris, vast and ancient.

Not sure what it was but it felt like a dialogue between my ego and a mushroom I ingested. At first I felt very calm, the sun was shining through the window the same brightness no matter if my eyelids were closed or open, I felt serene and full of reverence like a guest in a king's palace.

Then a strange feeling rushed over me, as though I was being undressed but I'm not talking about my clothes, it felt like a gradual yet complete deconstruction of my being, while my mind spectated this strange procedure.

I couldn't but think of how unnecessary all this baggage was, how heavy it all was, I've seen it all sliding of my center like leaves from a wet roof. I began to think of what is this center and told myself that it cannot be known, it is unknowable, then I mused whether it is a link to God, but not in a Biblical sense, more like the All in the Hermetic tradition, which is also unknowable. I felt like small branch connected to a vast tree with its bigger branches and smaller branches, the stalk and the root.

During this trip the trip itself felt like an individual having a dialogue with me, a mushroom if you will - as I mentioned earlier. What I noticed on a few occasions when there was a loud noise outside it hid itself like some mold hiding from the sun, or a snail hiding in its shell and then slowly emerging again. Of course it was the whim of my alert mind, like some guardian breaking off the atmosphere of security while sensing danger. Just an observation.

The rest of the trip I felt myself being converted into a mushroom, but not by force, I was being offered simplicity, sanity, tranquility, those things the saints, the mystics and philosophers of human history had sought and taught others. I was completely converted by then, it was simply insane to argue with such logic... and then my mind woke me up. Suddenly I felt hunger, it seemed like the dialogue was over.

I was shown that all my life, all I've experienced is an illusion and our culture is a circus of some sort, that there is absolutely no reason to frown, to achieve, to rush... It is all in vain. I could even discern some impudent giggling at the back of my mind.

Albert Einstein said that reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. I agree with every word.