Lately I feel Ive been called to session with mushrooms because there is something I need to know that I can only access this way.
I purchased two 5g liberty cap chocolates from a friend who lives in the woods. After doing some research on any adverse reactions to the medications I'm on - Concerta for ADHD and Citalopram for depression - I found that I would probably need a stronger dose since the Citalopram would compete with the shrooms.
I decided to skip taking my meds that day and it had been 24hrs since I last took them, I ate 1.5 of the chocolates as I had done a test drive a couple days earlier with half of one of the chocolates.
It took an hour to feel any effect and I was watching a Terrence McKenna lecture on Youtube. Physically I felt my entire energy system change, like a wave throughout my body to notify me that the effect has taken place.
This trip was mild. I enjoyed a neon light show when I closed my eyes while listening to the lecture and then found myself to randomly start laughing about nothing at all. I really enjoyed that, I felt like I really needed to have a good laugh, it was nice to sort of be given a break after a very tough year and a very stressful home life due to very noisy adjoining neighbours.
At one point I spent a while watching birds ride the thermals on a windy day out the window with my cat and I just felt childlike, I just enjoyed enjoying nature and feeling no pressure about anything.
The thought then occurred to me that reality only exists when we look at it. When our eyes are open, reality exists but when you close your eyes, you go into a space and when you get stoned and the illusion is dissolved, you realise that the life we are living is an illusion that only exists when we pay attention to it, kinda like watching a movie, it only exists when we watch it.
I decided to do a voice record on my phone to remember this but half way through had a fit of laughter for about a minute and a half!
My intention to do shrooms is to have a spiritual experience and connect with my higher self and higher beings in order to find my way. 2015 was a mess of a year for me and very tough, Ive come out the other end and Im not sure where I want to go or should go from here.
So, I guess Im seeking guidance without the hard work of mediation haha!
Ive made plans to get 10g chocolates soon and very much looking forward to going deeper.
I had no come down and eased back into total normality which was kind of a let down but also a relief. I remember while being ON the shrooms that I felt like I never wanted to be off them and that absolutely everyone needs to experience them. But once off them, I was glad of the break.
I cannot wait to explore more and will report when I do!
ps: I felt no withdrawals from my anti-depressants either, wouldnt it be nice to replace them with shrooms! Im hoping this shroom exploration will help me find a way to come off all medication eventually :)