Icarus

"Overcome by the giddiness that flying lent him, Icarus soared into the sky, but in the process he came too close to the sun, which due to the heat melted the wax. Icarus kept flapping his wings but soon realized that he had no feathers left and that he was only flapping his bare arms, and so Icarus fell into the sea"


The Beginning

A friend and I were scheduled to meet at Indian Rocks Beach (Florida) to lay along the sand while tripping. 
Current Time: Noonish
Having lived less than a few minutes away from 23rd avenue off Indian Rocks, I arrived first with a slew of gear ready to embark into an unknown world. 
I quickly gathered my fordable beach gazebo, chairs, backpack, with laptop, snacks, drinks, etc... Which would aim my first trip on shrooms in a positive direction.
Without time to waste and a naturally impatient nature, I longed through the freckles of brown and white sand scanning for a nice spot.
Within roughly 25 minutes everything was perfectly set up, except for the half extended vertical section of the beach gazebo (which made it very short).
The ocean swelled against broken shells and small children foraging for shark teeth and rare pearls.
Relaxed and eager to venture into a world previously unknown, I began texting my friend for an update of his supposed arrival time.
As he was my "babysitter" who possessed prior experience with such substances.
Forty minutes inch by all to noticeably by the time i receive a message of another hour long delay.
Tired and irritated from working graveyard shifts at a local hotel valet center, I began to nod off unsure whether or not i should stay awake.
Then a lingering idea floats into action as i begin to eat a small amount of the half ounce bag of shrooms stealthily a midst the many tourists and locals.
Another 30 minutes goes by and not a single change has occurred from the small portion I began eating earlier on.
So in haste I plunged my hand into the bag for a few more knowing full well my friend will arrive shortly to manage any misgivings i might have later.
Until I checked my phone that is.
"I can't get a ride down, and my motorcycle is having issues"
"Ive already eaten half the bag..."
"That is not wise considering you've no experience with any psychedelics what so ever"
"Well find a way here then!"
"I'll see what i can do"
....

The Middle

The water is soothing while i empty my bladder less then 15 ft. away from a family beyond the general sense of the word "Pale".
"They must be from Quebec..."
I meander back up the sloped hill towards my half raised gazebo contemplating what is about to unfold before my mind without any such safety net.
As my fingers dig for the last dried and discolored piece of what looks like a plane turbine engine, nothing has changed, yet.
With the bitter taste lingering in my mouth i swallow the remnants of a green tea Arizona sighing at the refreshing taste. 
"Its been over 30 hours sense I've last slept... maybe a little music will lull me to sleep"
A symphony of Kaytranada, Michael Dunlin, Mac Miller, and Beatles echo throughout the last few moments of my waking conscious.
I drift into a sound sleep surrounded by waves desperately trying to permeate the enclosed openings to my ear drums.
A slight high feeling begins to emanate across my being, similar to that of weed yet different in an indescribable way.
As the music starts to feel real; the artists specifically picked for this moment become unbound.
...
Somewhere between slumbering in another world and reality, I realize I've become immobilized in terms of standing.
I am trapped within a stream of sand surrounded by crab like creatures that oddly resemble humans. (I didn't see crab people, it was just something I thought of)
And suddenly my head drops to the sand, no longer fighting the pull of sleep deprivation followed by half an once of shrooms.
I'm dreaming is the first thought to cross my mind.  I begin to design a dragon, and other intricately detailed architecture, etc... (A lot of I cant put into words)
...
Memory fades in an out while I combat realization after realization.
First being, I need to treat my mother better, she loves me and I love her.
Second, the reason I broke off a 4 year long relationship was my fault for being scared of how real things began to get, I love her.
Third, I am alone. This is the way I came into this world, and it will be the way I leave upon death.
Fourth, Mac Miller was talking about the duality and limitless nature of human "Face's", the ones with which we show to those around us, family, friends, etc...
Fifth, the Cheshire cat is a symbol for the mind disappearing from reality inward toward consciousness. I am able to travel between being awake and into my mind without loss of noticing the change.
Six, I will die one day, am I am alright with that.
Universal connection.
Everything is same.
Peace rings throughout my being.


End

I am spiraling towards the peak with an unflinching rate of momentum. 
My body is still immobilized, but i begin to feel a sense of pleasure welling up within me like an overflowing bucket.
I bounce between consciousness and dream state skyrocketing forward.
An intense orgasm begins to melt across my body originating from my lower extremities.
I begin the pee myself from sheer muscle relaxation, the intensity of the orgasm, and copious amounts of Arizona etc...
I hit the rev-limiter repeatedly until i begin to drift back down toward Earth.
My sense gradually begin to return, but i am still hardly able to move until those return as well.
Having internally suspected that everyone on the beach knew i pissed myself, something happened.
I realized we're just human and that in the grand scheme of things pissing one's self pales in comparison to all i just witnessed and now understood.
Without delay a personification of my grandfather echoed across my mind of I should do.
"Be a man, and pick yourself up by your bootstraps."
So with my now returning bodily functions I sit up in awe still wrapping my mind around what took place.
Just in time to notice the young British couple laying down 20 ft. away from me.
Without delay I picked myself up, and marched over to see if my fellow human being might assist me with all the gear i was in no way capable of packing up.
(without any filter on my thoughts)
"Hello, I've just finished tripping on shrooms for the last few hours and i seemed to have pissed myself, can I have a little help packing my stuff up?"
(a flabbergasted look of awe flutters across their faces so quickly one might not have seen either of them)
Laughingly, the well endowed woman of roughly 27 replies
 "Yeah of course"
Her partner also agrees chuckling while we acquaint ourselves with one another. 
Apparently their friends also dabble with shrooms and she is understanding of my current plight.
The gentlemen proceeds to help dissect my gazebo into a  familiar mess of rods and tarp material.
With in 15 minutes, they bid me farewell and safe travels as I packed my car and decided to go for a bite to eat as my stomach was growling.
I had  called my ex-gf earlier out of work to come meet me at the beach while in such a delicate state.
We collided into one another at our favorite Thai place along 23rd avenue, and i began to explain everything.
Why everything happened, and why I had been scared.
But what is there to be scared of when you no longer fear death,
and you realize the people who love you should be pulled as close to your being as possible, not pushed away.

Foreal though if you live near Clearwater Beach look up Thai Pan Alley

Best fucking food ever.


-Zane