It has now been about 10 days since my trip, and I am finally feeling confident enough to talk about it. I say 180-220mg, because I did not have a scale and do not know the exact measurement, but it looked like the pile of 250mg I had with a little less. So let's begin..
It was a Tuesday. I had gotten 2 orders of DMT, one 250mg and the other 750mg. So I had a gram total, just seperatly bagged. The previous day, I attempted all day to smoke about 50mg in a meth pipe. I wasted around 500mg of DMT, and not once got it to work. Tuesday I wasted probably another 100mg and I was pretty furious because I wasn't breaking through. So I decided to snort it. It was 2 lines, about 1 and a half matches long each, the size of about 2 matches wide with another 2 stacked on top. They were pretty fat. I snorted one, and the burn was awful. It burned the inside of my nose and felt as though it was burning my brain. I went and snorted the other line quickly, not picking up 100% of it. I fell to the ground on my knees due to the burning. Ran to the bathroom and started spitting into the sink. Went and took a drink of Gatorade, spit some more, then went to lay down my bed. The DMT was hitting me very hard and very fast, walking was near impossible without having my hands on the walls using them as support. I got in bed and laid there, staring at the ceiling. Everything started getting a red and green outline, kind of like when you're on LSD. Everything was real floaty, in a dream like state. I remembering asking myself "Am I there? Is this what its like? .... What is my name? My... Name?" After saying that, I got out of bed and went to my kitchen and sat on the floor. Saying to myself "What do I want to do? I can do anything. I'm bored." My behavior began shifting drastically. Keep in mind that when I describe this, I'm leaving out a big part simply because I cannot find the words to describe it. I sprawled out on the floor and started saying "Love", I don't know why. I tried closing my eyes and enjoying the trip, but when I closed my eyes it was as though they were still open. I was still seeing everything. My vision was that of a fly's, with the hexagonal kaleidescope similarity. Seeing multiple frames of everything. Everything was quickly moving in and out and every split second everything ripped into being stars and the universe. And then I remembered I was on a drug, and that word scared me. I considered that I maybe overdosed. Seconds later, I lost my ability to breathe through my nose. I breathed in through my mouth, and I could feel everything. I could feel the air travel down my throat and into my lungs and my lungs expand, and it felt disgusting. I felt my blood course through my veins throughout my body, I felt my organs sitting on top of one another. I began trying to throw up, but couldn't. Everything was getting more and more intense, and I was starting to panic. I looked around for my phone to talk to someone or call someone to help me, but I couldn't find it. I felt completely alone. And I feared dying alone. I ran to my room, but my legs wouldn't work properly. I fell against the floor, face first, feeling no pain. I got up and went back to my kitchen, falling and hitting the walls and floor. As I entered the room, I began grabbing the dog cage to my right to try and hold myself up but couldn't. For about 5 minutes, which felt like an eternity, I was in a panic state grabbing chairs, throwing them to the ground, falling over them and hitting my face and body on everything. Then I noticed blood, everywhere. I had blackened my eyes, various parts of my body were cut, my nose was bleeding and looked broken (thank God I felt no pain during it all). I had blood on my shirt and hands and that made my panic increase even more. I began screaming, shreiks of terror, and every time I did it echoed through and through my head. I began yelling for my mom, dad, sister, brother, yelling for anyone to come help me. I wanted out of the trip. I viewed everything as just an object, I thought for sure I was dying. If I had to compare it to anything, I'd say it was a conscious glimpse of death without dying. I finally stood up and leaned on a wall, and yelled again for my mom. With everything in a kaleidoscope vision, for some reason I thought my parents were there, and that they just wouldn't answer me. I yelled over and over again demanding to know where my phone was. Kept pacing back and forth my house, falling over things, looking for it. Once falling over a chair, I stayed still, told myself to be calm. While I sat there, I asked myself "Who am I? Where am I? What am I doing here? Am I dead..?" I closed my eyes and I saw the universe. I felt as though it was talking to me, but I couldn't make out what it was saying. I opened my eyes again and ran to the front door, deciding I needed medical attention. I ran outside and paused. It was oddly quiet outside, I felt safer out there than I did inside. I could hear the birds tweet and the sprinklers spray water, and someone down the street mowing a lawn. It felt peaceful, but still didn't help me. I went to my neighbor to the right and began knocking on the door. He came and asked what happened, asked if I was alright. I kept saying "Call my dad. I need my dad." And he asked "Did someone do this to you? Are you hurt?" I can't remember our conversation exactly, back at one point he asked "Are you on something?" And then it clicked in my head that I was and I said yes. He gave me a bottled of water and once it was in my hand I just squeezed it and then grabbed his arm and apparently squeezed it very hard, enough to bruise it. He kept putting his hand on my chest and I was feeling restrained, and he wouldn't call my dad because he didn't know the number so he called 911. Feeling as though he wasn't helping me, I went to my neighbor to the left of my house. She is closer to my family and everything, so it felt more friendly going to see her. I went to her house, opened the front door and went in myself and called for her name and asked for help. But she wasn't home. I turned around to exit the house, but for the life of me I could not open the door. I once again felt locked inside. I tried over and over again but couldn't open it, and then took a step back and decided I was going to have to run and break through the glass. Thank God, before I did, I remembered there was a back door and then proceeded to get it open and exit from there. I went to the front yard and saw a cop talking to my neighbor. Ran over to him, asked him to call my dad and help me, and he knew my dad and did so. He let me sit in the back of his SUV until the ambulance arrived, and then I went in it and to the hospital where I sobered up, then to jail and I'm being charged with possession of controlled substance class 2, a felony.
When you are close to dying (that's what it felt like at least) you don't care about money. You don't care about your nice car or your nice house. All you want in the world, is to see the people you love and tell them you love them before your time runs out. It's weird how people don't say what they truly mean until it's too late. Once I got out of jail, I texted all the people I love and told them I love them. And if you're reading this, I recommend you do the same. Because nobody plans to die. Death takes us whenever he feels like it.