death and rebirth over and over again

I recently found a source who has psilacetin and I got a bunch of it. I've heard all about it, how it can convert to psilocin in your liver. I looked up various trip reports and what not, but for some reason I didn't look up dosage advice.. mistake haha

11:00 PM I ingest 30 mgs and lie down in the dark waiting for it to come on.

11:30 PM still nothing so I drop another 20 mg down the hatch. 

12:00 AM I felt a slight buzz and distortions. Normally by this time on shrooms, and even acid I'd be coming up hard.. I wasn't really feeling much and this come up was way too chill.

12:30 AM not much has changed and I think I probably didn't do enough, and drop another 50 mg down the hatch. Of course right after I do, I go online to read up what I just did, and people say 20-30 mgs makes them trip hard. I pretty much realize I took a massive dose. 

12:45 AM anxiety is setting in. I feel the full array of psychedelics coming on and it's just getting more and more intense. I close my eyes and meditate. Letting it all go. Telling myself it's time to die. Luckily I've done 14 dry grams of shrooms a few times so I have experience with this.

1:00 AM I'm full on level 5 tripping at this point, going down a vortex, rainbow colors all around me, i felt like i was eternity and trapped in space, and I know I'm about to get crazier since I ingested another 50 mgs 30 minutes before this.

1:15 at this point I'm unbelievably fucked and I need to piss really badly. My body is in huge anxiety just thinking about getting up to pee.. somehow I managed to get up and go towards the bathroom. As I was going down the hallway I kept feeling like I would get massive then as small as an ant. I could see the ground going right up under my nose and then too far for me to see any cracks in it. Really trippy.. it's at this point when I basically piss every 10-15 minutes. 

1:30 I can't get comfortable in my bed and I'm rolling around a lot. I was scared I was going to wake my gf up since she worked early. I didn't want her to be too sleepy so I relocated to the living room. It was around this time when my "comfort trip" began.

At this point I lost all concept of time and every time I checked my phone it was just alien language. I had no idea what time it was or if the sun would come up.

I was on the couch and my hands were warm and my feet were ice cold. I'd try holding my feet and getting comfortable but I just couldn't. Every fiber in my being was vibrating, the whole world was vibrating. Nothing was staying still and it felt like everything was vibrating looking for silence. I couldn't get comfortable because there was no silence. Everything was making noise and annoying me. I just wanted silence and bliss, and to stop having to pee every 15 minutes.

Stranger still I felt like I was every vibrating particle. That they all made up me like I made up them.

I couldn't handle it anymore and thought I was insane. That no matter where I went I would be trapped with vibrating particles, and they were all me. I felt if I died I'd just get my energy transferred and be reborn again, vibrating again like how I was. That there's no such thing as peace/silence/death, just this eternal chaos.

I went all over the house looking for a place to be comfortable and nothing was working. Even tried outside in the grass. No matter where I went it was utter chaos. Eventually though the sun was coming up and I realized I was starting to come down. Although I was still really uncomfortable, I was a little eased.

around 5:30 was when I was able to read time again. I then lied down in my bed and was so happy to be alive and seeing my gf. I couldn't sleep and was barely coherent enough to make sentences, but it was way better than before.

6:30-7 is when I finally came down enough to not be feeling constant vibrating and found ETERNAL peace. It was so blissful I actually cried with joy. It was unbelievable, and I couldn't even grasp what I just went through. It was insane and psychotic. However I found my peace, and I found my sanity again.

7-1 pm I just watched TV and went for a stroll in the forest with so much life in me, and I couldn't get over the peace and love in the world. Still can't get over it. This was a wild trip and it has blown all my previous trips out of the water. I'd definitely recommend never to take this much to anyone. It was very taxing on the mind and bladder and was what I'd call pure insanity. I think high doses should be worked up to. Never jump into 100 mgs like I did.