The date was May 24th, 2015.
My good friend Z had called me in the morning and proposed the idea of taking
medicinal mushrooms... Not just any but one of the strongest strains known to
man, the famous Penis Envies (PE). I have already acquainted myself with this
prized strain of mushroom earlier this year so I knew what I was getting myself
into. After debating for a short time, we decided to take a full 3 grams each.
A dose I was longing to do. Most of my journeys have been accompanied by 2-2.5
grams, which is an extremely powerful dose in itself however none of those
journeys were as deep and profound as this one.
I developed a method for
consumption which I religiously do each time I use this medicine. I mix raw,
melted cacao with a super food paste to create an organic, raw product. This
time, I mixed the grounded mushroom with a Goji paste to make a raw super food
patty. With a double boiler, at a low temperature, I melt down the cacao then
distribute it along with the patty into a custom mold, which leaves a beautiful
Metatron cube print on the finishing chocolate.
Set & Setting
After we made the
chocolates, we head over to Z's friends estate. The house was a spectacular
display to say the least. A legitimate museum of invaluable keepsakes. There
were ancient relics and artifacts, abstract art, archaic weapons from around
the world, beautiful pieces of furniture, all types of unique novelties, 3D
models of sacred geometry, huge crystals and elements from nature all through
the manor. The ambience had a very eastern yet modern feel about it. The
Fengshui was extraordinary. It was complete with a large pasture and barn in
the backyard, which had horses roaming around. The set and setting was warm,
picturesque, and beyond adequate.
Once we settled down, we set
our intentions and ate half of the chocolate. We then took a walk through the
backyard into the forest, which was joined by a gate from the property. As we
were walking, the medicine started to set in. The lush trail of plants, roots
and vines started to gently morph within the naturalistic environment. The
onset came on pretty abrupt so before we got lost in the swiveling vines, we
set course back to the manor. Once back, we sat down to smoke a joint where
things started to get interesting.
Our reference of time was so
warped that the whole experience felt like it did not happened chronologically
but more so happened as one juncture with various points of experiences. I will
do my best to piece together what seemed like an infinite moment. Our only
grounding device was a voice recorder that was keeping track of earth time.
This was our compass back home.
As the medicine was setting
in I played Global Drum Project (a percussionist group) on the surround sound
to help guide our consciousness. The medicine was starting to take over and at
this point all we could do was lay on the carpet and let the music take us
away. It wasn't long before I started transfiguring. It felt so effortless to
let go of all tension and physical bounding and shift into a higher frequency
of consciousness. Within seconds my being became infinite in all directions. I
was no longer a definition of my physical environment.
Everything that I knew on a
mundane level was completely stripped away. The pixels of this 3rd dimension
were unraveling at an unfathomable rate. The node of my egoic mind was only but
a droplet of consciousness in an everlasting kingdom of infinite existence.
Nothing made sense in practical human terms yet it all made sense in the grand
scheme of things.
I eventually entered into
this space-void, which was extremely expansive. It felt like an endless
tesseract-temple made out of photonic information. This dimension had an
eccentric soundscape to it. I translated the carrier waves as deep 'woousz',
sharp electromagnetic waves and metallic clicks. There was no musical pattern
or tempo to it, just modulated vibrations from another plane of existence.
After catapulting through multiple realms, I came across a sacred
mother/feminine presence that brought me into her awareness. It was a
comforting entity and soothing experience.
As I continued to flow in
this space-void, I encountered these other peculiar entities that gave off a
copacetic energy as we greeted each other. They emitted a curious vibe with
good intentions. They were conveying a message that I interpreted along the
lines of "What's up my lower dimensional friend, you're a funny looking
one". Its form was partially tangible to my senses yet I could make out a
whimsical harlequin that was continuously absorbing then exerting its own
energy in a torus style vacuum.
After these encounters I had
to get up and gather some composure. The house felt like a hyper dimensional
space ship traveling at light speed hitting turbulence. Time and space were
completely distorted and the qubit units of the physical realm were all mesh
together beyond the point of recognition. The environment was a soup of colors,
shapes and sounds. It got pretty rough and for some time I was staggering
around like a drunken space pirate.
Z and I decided to eat
another quarter and walk outside to get some fresh air and catch the sunset. It
was an awe-inspiring view; the milky pink sky was swaying away as we gazed into
the horizon. It was such an overwhelming moment that we got on our knees and
eventually laid face down on the soft pasture. My very essence dissolved into
the soil and melded with the benevolent spirit of Mother Nature. It was as if I
was communicating with every aspect of the organic world at once: plants,
beasts, birds, fish, insects, water and land. It was a healing and solemn
moment as I felt my heart-space expand immensely
As we got up, Z took me over
by the barn where he retrieved two 24k, gold plated pyramidal structures
constructed for meditational purposes. We brought them back to the house to
mediate under later in the night.
The Trial For Sanity
As the 3rd quarter of the
chocolate started to gain its effects on us, Z was starting to have the
infamous bad trip. Z was an experienced psychonaut who has used various plant
medicines before however he must have underestimated the power of this strain of
mushroom. He called his brother to talk and could hardly piece words together
as he was trying to describe what he did last night. I could tell his brother
was getting a kick out of it. I was signaling to hang up the phone to focus
back on our reality. At this point Z had to purge and went to the bathroom to
do so. The medicine was hitting hard and Z wanted to find an escape.
At this point we were so
deep in the abyss there was no telling if we'd ever find our way back to our
normal ways of human existence. Our sanity was put on trial. The subjective
world of anthropological ideas and concepts we once knew were only a vague
remembrance of our old identities. We were two pioneers stranded on a
multidimensional island in the ocean of the cosmos, struggling to grasp the
conditions we were subject to... This was complete ego death.
Z wanted to grab my amethyst
crystal I brought and smash the glass table in the lounge quarters to anchor
himself back to human reality. I was doing my best to comfort him out of the
bad trip letting him know he is the controller of his experience; to tap into
his warrior spirit and take control of his thoughts. He really wanted to end it
all but I told him that he must give into the moment and allow each frame of
the experience to pass. After he got over his bad trip I suggested that we take
the last quarter and go back outside to smoke another joint. We weren't
expecting what happened next.
Man vs. Wild
As Z approached the sliding
glass door, a family of raccoons precariously came up looking for food. I
thought the scene was entertaining and attempted to feed the raccoons a banana.
Z quickly talked me out of that idea, which was probably best. The last thing
we needed in our state of mind was a family of rabid raccoons taking over the
house and attacking us. So we were stuck inside for some bit.
Once the raccoons left. I
had the urge to go outside again. I grabbed a huge dagger to fend off the
raccoons and went to the screened-in patio. A rush of excitement jolted over me
as I was about to go out into the wild. There was a huge sense of liberation in
this act of breaking free from that fear-based state of mind, regardless of the
potential dangers that entailed. Z wasn't all too receptive with this idea and
we joked around about Murphy's Law.
Z said he'd rather not go
outside as it poses physical dangers and risks. He stated it was a Jewish
thing. As Z was watching me venture off into the outback safely from the patio,
he bumps into a cabinet and almost knocked over some expensive antiquities. He
relays his revelation that maybe it was safer outside. We both laugh at the
paradoxical episode as he joined me.
We smoked some herb then
brought the 24k gold pyramidal structures in the backyard to mediate in. I felt
a strong grounding while under the gold pyramid. Images of sacred geometry
flashed in my minds eye. After the meditation, we went out into the pasture as
the moon was setting in between two palm trees. We started to philosophize
about how everything in existence are just particles of the God source with
their individual points of reference, experiencing itself unto itself. The fact
we existed so independently yet so connected at the most fundamental core was
an epiphany beyond any linguistic expression. No words could describe that
absolute moment where two sentient beings comprehended each other
synchronically as one. It was a communion of all that is experiencing itself
from different subjecting points in our expressive existence.
While outside, Z taught me some
tai chi which helped me understand how energy could get stuck inside you. I was
circulating my stuck energy with movement and intention as he taught me
After our tai chi session,
we went back inside the manor where we found the most amazing invention... The waterbed.
I lay down and just drifted back into infinity as subtle thoughts arose. I came
to realize that regardless of where you're at in the world, despite what class,
race, or culture you stem from, we all share the same constitutional
experiences. Do away with the labels and all that's left is raw emotion. The
highs and lows the stock broker on wall street experiences are the same highs
and same lows as the indigenous child in the amazon jungle experiences. We all
draw from the same life force no matter what physical facade you cover it with.
The medicine was finally
wearing off. There was a sense of solace that came over Z and I. We gambled our
sanity, wandered to the deepest corridors of our minds and conquered the heroic
trial of the psilocybian mushroom all while integrating revelations, alternate
realities and a sacred communion with all that is.
It has now been 3 days since
that exhaustive journey and I feel so content with all elements of life. I feel
whole and connected. Understanding and tolerant. Appreciative and knowledgeable.
I am no longer confined by the dogmas of incomplete concepts construed by my
mind that tell me "This is the [apparent] reality". I know there is
only one ultimate reality that each of us attempts to interpret the best we
can. I feel a transparent communion with the creator of all that is and I
tribute these marvelous epiphanies to the use of plant medicines. With that
notion said, I endorse any individual interested in altering their
consciousness [with the right intention] through the use of plant medicines to
aid in a better understanding of what their existence is all about.