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Chains of ego death ~ Seeing through dimensions and the Universe collapsing
**** For some reason once I paste my text this generates stuff around some words, no idea why, you can read my trip more clearly here:
Tripped with: Hollandia Truffles ~ 5-15-15
Amount: 15 grams fresh ~ Grown for potency.
Settling: Pitch dark room, silence. Wife sleeping.
Consumption: Lunch around 2pm. Small snack around 8pm. Ate the truffles while watching TV with my wife. Wife remained sober this time due some tooth ache. Taste was horrible (next trip I will consume them with Nutella, unless I trip with my home grown Golden Teachers.
Come up: About roughly ten minutes I started to feel a lot of energy on my legs. They also felt heavy and my continuous finger/toe pain started to go away. After 25 minutes it became hard for me to read the posts here at shroomery and told my wife it would be best to just go to bed. While on bed, I started to get some sound hallucinations, mainly metallic noises, a lot of beeps and a very computer-alike sounds. Despite room being pitch black I could see some patters of colors, but all of them were very electric and very matrix style.
Trip time: Trip was very long, lasted about 4 hours %u201CEarth time%u201D but %u201Cmushroom time%u201D felt like ages. Rather than giving a ton of detail I will post my remarks to make the reading easy. I took notes in my notebook at some points during the trip.
- I was able to see the edge of the Universe, like if we are inside a giant cube made out of %u201Ccode%u201D some sort of hologram. Every time I %u201Ctouched%u201D these edges, I would get a huge jolt around my entire body and hear a very intense %u201CZap%u201D alike sound. It was like something was preventing me to go further.
- My entire surrounded ceased to exist, it was like a hologram, like I was seeing through the veil. Everything felt very fake, virtual and programmed.
- I saw these symbols:
- I was able to see sound waves. I could control sound and travel through sound. My entire physical body ceased to exist. I was just consciousness blending with sound waves, I could also manipulate sound waves and I would hear them as I changed them (again, I was in a pitch black silent room.)
- My whole reality collapsed around me. I am nothing, I am consciousness, I do not exist.
- The veil is thinner, getting every time weaker and weaker to the point of collapsing. The entire existence collapses.
- I am told by some spirit to not search to the vast edges of the Universe, but to search within me. Even though I am unable to understand what, %u201CWithin me%u201D meant, nor what was the meaning of %u201Cme.%u201D
- Our whole dimension is a trap, like we are inside a giant 3D cube and we can%u2019t get out from it. Apparently, the 4th Dimension is also a trap, a bigger trap.
- I really that ego death comes in waves, not during the entire whole trip. I was nothingness at moments, while at other moments I would laugh over silly things bounded to this word.
- Ego death waves come without time, time does not exist, time is not real, nothing is real, my thoughts are made. I question even why I am getting and from where this information. I wonder if something or someone is listening to me.
- I wondered if I was going to remember anything, I wondered what tomorrow meant, I question the meaning of the word, %u201CWhen.%u201D
- Why this state of bliss, joy and pain-free can%u2019t last forever, why so much pain in the world and so much limitation.
- I jump through a wormhole that takes me through infinite dimensions. I cannot even understand the dimensions,
- I am told by my soul, %u201CEnough of this dimension, time to move on.%u201D Turn of the light and stop taking notes.
- I realize how many distractions are surrounding us, but I also question myself, %u201CDistraction from what?%u201D
- I told the Universe, %u201CI want to crack the code.%u201D The Universe replies, %u201CNo, you can%u2019t%u201D I reply with, %u201CI insist!%u201D The Universe once more replies, %u201CNO!%u201D After that, whole existence crumbles and I cease to exist.
- I am ONE.
- What is behind all of this reality? Who is the creator of this?
- We are tiny chips of a big controlled machine. What is the purpose of all of this?
- I DO NOT ACCEPT, I AM FREE. What does freedom mean?
- Why am I here? I want to go home, to my cosmic origins, I am tired of this Earth. Bye%u2026
- So much knowledge%u2026 it cannot be contained%u2026 its impossible.
- We always blame, we learn, we seek but always come back to the same.
- Loop, loop, loop%u2026 trapped by a loop, but why?
- Do we focus on our little world? NO. Do we focus on the big picture? NO. All is a ?????
Come down was very confusing, a lot of looping thoughts and type of, %u201CI am really done with this.%u201D Also, several jolts and scares, like if I was teleported to a different dimension and/or time and then suddenly, abruptly I would fall back into this reality, to be pulled back to another dimension, for thousands of times within moments. I ended up falling asleep during come down so I dodged most of it.
Woke up refreshed, happy and blissful. I felt this was a very healing trip for me. I felt I was reborn once again.