Crazy trip!

This was the third time I had ever eaten shrooms. The first 2 times people gave me a few stems, the most I felt was some euphoria and I could feel street lights. I've tripped on LSD numerous times before, and have tried salvia a handful of times. This time was like nothing I have ever experienced before in my life! Totally fucking insane! 

April 11th, 2015

My friend calls me up and asks what I'm doing. Says he's cooking out and has mushrooms. I ask "what kind of mushrooms?" He says "the magic kind". I'm excited, as I have been wanting to go on a trip lately, especially after I have read about ayahuasca. 

I go and eat at a Subway with my sister and nephew. I ask my sis for a ride to my friends'. I first go home to grab my beer, get dropped off at friends'. We hang out and drink whilehe's cooking.  He gets too anxious to trip and takes the food off the grill before it's done lol says he'll finish it the next day. He goes and packs a bowl and we both take a few hits. A friend of our's calls me and I put him on speaker phone, it was crazy because it was like he was talking like he could see us and he is in another state, pretty far away. . As we were walking inside he asks, "are you going inside now?" and said a few other things like he could see us. This was before we even ate anything! We go inside his house and he eyeballs two eight's one for each of us. He eats his with a meal, and I eat mine straight. Time~approx 6:30-6:45 PM. 

I first notice the effects 20-30 minutes later. Looking from his kitchen into the dining room at the vertical wood planks it looked like the floor was sloping down at the end opposite to me. 

Soon after this, I start to see things pixelated. Especially the plaid curtains. I describe it as seeing in stereo or digitally. (I can/have been able to see these pixels sober when I close my eyes and concentrate on them, but they're always so far away). I keep asking my friend if it's today or yesterday and we laugh. I also keep questioning, is this real life? 

He was playing this super trippy music, band is called "Ween".  I thought I used my music app sound Hound to find out the name of artist and song, it came up as "we're watching you", freaky shit! I asked my friend how he was doing that? He asked,  "doing what?" I said making stuff happen. He said Idk what you're talking about. 

I know I was shrooming, but looking back I think he may be into (dark?) magic. He would be outside smoking and through the window I thought he was up to 4 different people at different times one right after the other. Sometimes I forgot who he was. He would point to his phone in a David Blane or Chris Angel kind of way and my phone would ring or I'd get a text or something! I asked him how he got into it and when he got into it (I was thinking he might've sold his soul), he didn't really answer me but would move magically or mystically. 

I had been feeling like I was in a movie. The lights reflecting of his screen door window made me feel like I was on screen. I kept asking "where are the directors and producers?" (I read another post on here, someone described it as being in the Truman Show, very much what it was like for me too!) His roommate came home and they started talking, crazy stories like seemed really far-fetched and fabricated ( to mess with me?) 

After some time my friend said something like "the gig is up" or "you gotta know something". I almost immediately thought of the movie "The 6th Sense". I thought I was a ghost and he was the one to finally tell me that I'm dead! (I was in a really bad car accident Jan 2000, I thought I had died and hadn't accepted it or was unaware of it. I started crying like crazy. Saying about how I'll miss my dad, sister and nephew. My friend said they're going to be alright. Then I thought my friend was Jesus. I thought that for a while and kept asking him. I think/thought he was saying yeah. I also thought I was in eternity and he spoke to me maybe not verbally and said this is all there is. We walk this earth/place/dimension eternally ALONE! We sometimes will run into eachother. It's kinda like we were both gods, or one one the devil and the other was a god. Eternal souls in control of a world or in disputes/wars to control this world. Looking back now, I think that it may've been our conscious' clashing or something really crazy. 

I went outside to get air and "think?" or process. I got another idea, maybe my friend was the devil. (how the devil can change appearances). I had to go. I started walking and my friend was coming after me and calling for me. But I kept walking, running even maybe. I kept thinking, if I get far enough away the devil can't have any power over me. 

I was wondering around in a very delusional state. I thought I was eternally dawned to walk the streets, never again to know comfort or warmth (it was quite chilly out). I come upon a church and tried to go inside, but the doors are locked. I thought God had denied me. I stood there crying and praying. I thought I was really stuck here like this for eternity. My sister called me and I thought it was either saying goodbye or letting go. Or she was the devil trying to trick me. I felt like I was in the matrix, connected to my phone, Google, etc. I dropped my phone and kept walking. I ended up stopping and pissing myself, I intentionally tried to, Idk why though. 

It was like I was in between dimensions. I could hear my sis in the distance yelling for me. I thought it was we were on different sides life/death or after life. I yelled to her that I love her and my nephew and miss them and to tell my dad I love and miss him. 

Idk in what part of the sequence of events this was. It was my world, I created it. So I started walking in front of traffic. I was a ghost, dead or an inadequate god. Cars were going around me or through me. None would stop. I was pounding on cars as they drove by. I thought I saw my sis and nephew at one time, just to look at (or through me) and drive past. I kept hearing sirens and thought of the infinite world theory (anything that you think can or has happened, has). I thought I was standing on the streets in the 70's. I was yelling to my best friend and his kids I miss/will miss them. 

It was like I was trapped on the outside, I could never get or go inside a place, building again. I walked over to a firehall and thought I could kick the firetruck door down like the Incredible Hulk. Didn't work. I tried to go in the regular door, locked. So I thought, "I'm gonna make them do what I want em to". I pull the fire alarm. Next thing I know, my sis,is there (poor nephew in her vehicle) cops, ambulance, my friend. I thought my sister was Jesus at first and started crying and caressing her face asking her if she was Jesus. I think she said she was probably just trying to get me to chill. Then she told me I needed to go with the cop and EMT in the ambulance. Then I thought she was the devil trying to set me up. I was scared and worried I could be on a permatrip and have to go to an insane asylum. I was cuffed and said I didn't want to go in the ambulance. I mouthed to my sis "they're going to rape me". I was really paranoid at first. I ended up going in the ambulance to the hospital, not like I had a choice. Was in the ER for probably like 2 hours. My awesome, caring sister and nephew came for me and waited with me to be released. 

Things I've read on here, forums, etc about shrooms people say they're in contact with divine beings, other entities and such. When I tripped on salvia a number of times and this time on shrooms, it's like I'm in a really empty, lonely world. Like I'm the only one there. Idk if it's just me being inside my own consciousness or what. I hope the afterlife isn't that way. 

What if it's all just our dream or we're in someone else's dream/conscious? What if everything and everyone I see is only in my consciousness? I made everyone and everything be there and I'm the only one real? 

The day after my trip I nearly couldn't stand the sound of traffic. It seemed so fake. I thought and still somewhat do think everything I experience, I made be there. Like its all just in my head. Weird anomalies have been happening to me since, or so it seems. 

I feel like I have awakened and a freaked out by some of the shit now. But I feel like we are all one, I an everyone or everyone is me (most everyone). 

I want to go down the rabbit hole again and learn more. Hopefully it's brighter, better and I find it a lot less lonely! 

Some movies that make me think of relating to my trip; The Fight Club, The Truman Show, What Dreams May Come, The Matrix, Inception, Lucy, Predestination, Donnie Darko. 

Thanks for reading! Please post comments, thoughts, ideas, advice, questions. Peace, light, love and good vibes!