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Tried shrooms for the first time at a party
There are a lot of people that are involved in this story so I'm sorry if this gets confusing at some parts. There were four main people (not including myself) in this story. To make it easier, I'm going to call those people 1, 2, 3, and 4. Okay, lets get started. So on Thursday, #1 texted me and asked if I wanted to try shrooms since he got a hookup to get them. I wasn't so sure at first, but then I found out that like 5 of my friends were going to do them together, so I decided to join in. At first I wanted to try them just to do something crazy, but then after reading on this website about them I decided that I wanted it to be a good life experience. Myself and friend #3 were the only ones who looked at it this way, so I was really looking forward to doing them with him. Everyone else looked at it as a crazy party thing. We were planning on going out to #1's cabin in the middle of nowhere to do them at around 5:00 p.m or so on Friday. On Friday after school, we were all ready to go, but then the deal ended up falling through and we weren't able to get them. We were all pretty bummed, but then they said they would be able to get them to us the next day for sure. So Saturday came around and we had a for sure hookup to get them, but then the only people who wanted to do them anymore was me, #1 and #2. Everyone else wanted to go to a party. We tried to convince everyone to go to #1's cabin instead of the party, but we ended up just going to the party instead.
So now its about 8:00 p.m on Saturday and the dealer (who is going to be called #4) was planning to bring the shrooms out to the party. So me #1 and #2 are waiting around and its taking this guy FOREVER. He doesn't end up getting there until about 10:30. We didn't care how late it was, we were ready to just try these things. We ate them as soon as we got them. I didn't think they tasted too bad, we all agreed they tasted like pumpkin seeds. A lot of people were kind of standing around us watching us eat the shrooms, which made me a little nervous for some reason. After I ate all 1.5g of the shrooms, it was just a waiting game for it to hit me. We started playing blackjack just to pass the time. After about 20 minutes of eating them, I started to get super nauseous. Luckily this only lasted for a few minutes. After about 30 minutes, we decided to go outside and smoke some weed. I only took one hit because I don't really like the feeling of weed very much (sounds crazy I know) and I didn't want it to drastically effect the feeling of the shrooms. I just stood outside with my friends while they were smoking, and that's when it started to hit me a little bit. I looked up into the sky and it just looked fucking crazy. The moon was really bright and the trees just looked like perfect Halloween trees under the moon. Then there was this really fat ugly chick that was in her car for some reason and she was running inside, but it looked like she was running right at me and in my mind I thought that she was a goblin. That freaked me out a little bit, but I was fine after I realized it wasn't a goblin.
After that we went inside and that's when it really started to hit me. This was about an hour after we ate the shrooms. There was a party rocker inside that played loud music and had all kinds of crazy lights that lit up the whole room. After just standing there and looking around for a few minutes, #2 says to me "THIS IS FUCKING CRAZY!" And he was right. I felt like I was very aware of everything that was going on in the room. I felt like I knew exactly what every person was feeling and what they were thinking at any moment. Whenever I interacted with somebody, I went through exactly what both me and the other person were probably thinking at that moment in a matter of two seconds. One girl asked me how I felt, and I said "The best way to describe what I'm going through, is that there is a lot more going on in this room that nobody knows about." I meant that as in the emotions and thoughts that people were having that nobody really thought about, but she took it is if I was hallucinating, which I guess is understandable. Then I found that my mind was going in a repetitive circle. Someone would talk to me, then something else would catch my attention and I would focus on that for a little bit, then I would focus on nothing at all and my mind would just go crazy with a million thoughts running through my head all at once and it continued to escalate until something snapped me out of it. That cycle happened about 20 times. Then eventually I got to a point where I couldn't communicate with anyone that wasn't on my level. If there was someone who didn't take shrooms, it was really hard for me to talk to them. I would pretty much just tell them that I wish they could understand and then tell them to take shrooms so they could understand.
After being inside for a while, I decided that there was way too much shit going on in there and I wanted to go outside and chill for a little bit. I asked #1 and #2 if they wanted to come with me, but they both said they just wanted to stay in there with the party. When I went outside #4 was just chilling by himself having a cig. I hadn't really talked to him a whole lot before, so I felt nervous to talk to him at first. Also he was pretty much completely sober, so I thought it would be hard to talk to him just like everyone else who wasn't on shrooms. But he has experienced it multiple times before, he was actually very easy to talk to. I just expressed what I was thinking to him and he understood everything and it made me feel really good inside that someone else could understand how I was feeling at that moment. At this point I started to feel free and happy. I realized that I did not want to be in the house at all anymore and I had been doing this experience the wrong way. Even though it was freezing cold outside, I just wanted to be outside and be free and feel good. #2 finally came outside with me at one point and I told him how I didn't want this to just be another party and that we had to actually experience this together. I wanted to get #1 out of the house so he could experience it with us. I went in the house to get him, and I immediately felt like I was trapped when I went inside the house. Being in the house and being outside were two very different feelings, it was crazy. When I was in there he was sitting between two people who had not taken shrooms. I went up to him and said that we had to go outside and experience this and not just let it be another party. The other two people looked at me like I was fucking crazy, and I hated it. I hated that they couldn't understand how I was feeling. Then I looked around and realized that everyone in the room was judging me, and I just wanted to get out of the house and be free again. Unfortunately #1 told me he was having fun inside and he didn't want to go outside, and it made me sad that he didn't want to experience it with us.
So then me #2 and #4 were just chilling outside talking about a bunch of shit. Then I realized I wanted to listen to music so I put my headphone in and started listening to A Day to Remember, and it was the most amazing thing I've ever heard in my life. I just sat there and listened to music and let my mind run crazy. I kept thinking that I never wanted the feeling to end. Then there was a kid who came outside and tried to hangout with us, but I straight up told him that he couldn't. I didn't want anyone that didn't understand what we were going through to be out there with us. I told him that I wish he could understand but he just couldn't be there with us. After that I kept thinking that all I wanted to do was have everyone at that party feel the way I did at that moment. I just wanted everyone to come outside just fucked on shrooms and feel the freedom that I felt that night. I then went inside because I wanted a piece of paper so I could write down all of the shit I was thinking so that way people could understand. All I wanted was for people to understand! So I went up to a girl and asked her for paper and a pencil and she gave it to me, and I hurried back outside so I didn't have to feel trapped in the house anymore. When I was writing, I kept thinking to myself "If anyone reads this they're probably gonna think i'm fucking crazy." But it made so much sense to me and I hated that people would judge me for writing it. I pretty much just wrote that there was so much shit that goes on that nobody knows about and how I wished everyone could understand what freedom really feels like. Even as I was writing it I was thinking "This probably won't even make sense to me when I read it in the morning." But I didn't care. I just wanted to write so I could understand and remember how I felt at that moment when I woke up in the morning. #2 went back inside because he was cold after a while of watching me write. I then started to hate that we rushed into doing them so fast. I felt like we should have waited to do the shrooms at a better time when we were in a better environment. I hated that #1 and #2 were trapped inside while I was outside just feeling free as a bird.
Then I started to text #3, and I basically texted him a novel. I texted him about how we should have waited to do it together and I told him I was sorry that he couldn't understand how I was feeling and a bunch of stuff like that. I could have just went inside and told him in person, but I didn't want to feel trapped inside the house, so I just decided to text him. After that I just chilled outside by myself listening to music and looking up at the beautiful sky. Then for some reason I got a feeling that I needed to have a cig. This was really weird for me because I NEVER smoke cigs. When I went inside and asked everyone for a cig they just looked at me like a completely different person. I got 2 of them and then I went outside and enjoyed them while I listened to my music by myself. This was the happiest and most free moment of the whole experience. Just sitting out there by myself thinking about everything just made me feel the happiest and most free that I have ever felt in my entire life. I then realized that the whole night, literally all I wanted to do was just sit there and feel good, but there were so many obstacles that wanted to keep me from doing that., such as the cold weather, having to keep going inside for stuff, people bothering me when I was in my own little world, heck I even hated having to change songs on my phone. Everything just felt like an obstacle that was trying to keep me from feeling good about myself.
After sitting outside by myself for a while, I got way too cold and I had to go back inside for the night, which made me sad. When I got inside I just wanted to sit on the couch and listen to my music, but everyone kept bothering me and it was starting to make me angry. I just told everyone to leave me alone and let me enjoy myself. This is when my trip took a slightly bad turn. When I was listening to music with my eyes closed, for some reason I kept feeling like everyone in the room was pointing and laughing at me. I swear I could hear everyone in the room just pointing and laughing and saying how fucked up I was, but then when I opened my eyes and looked around, there wasn't anybody that was doing that. Everyone was minding there own business paying no attention to me. The same thing happened over and over, so eventually I got sick of it and I took out my headphones and just decided to talk to people about what I went through. I had come down quite a bit at that point, which made me sad. I just wanted to feel free and happy again like I did when I was outside. But I knew that I would never have that feeling again for a very long time. It was about 3:30 in the morning when I finally went to bed. That's pretty much the end of the story.
Overall it was a pretty damn good experience, but I still wish I could have done it differently. If I could do it over I would have waited until we could go to #1's cabin with a few people and have just us out there chilling, and not be at some big party with a bunch of distractions. I know I made this story very long and I feel like not a lot of people are going to read this whole thing, but it doesn't really matter that much to me. I just wanted to post this for myself so I could get it all off of my mind and just got over everything that happened. To be honest there's even more stuff that I wish I could have added in, and of course there was probably things that I don't remember. I'm most likely going to try these again in the summer when it is warm out so I can walk around outside without being cold. If you took the time to read this whole thing, thank you! I would like it if you commented and tell me what you think about my first trip.