The dream we forgot that we are dreaming..

=SPIRITUAL WAY OF EXPLAINING PSILOCYBE MUSHROOMS=

Trip Report (Psilocybe Cubensis)

Some background information about myself:

Ever since I took the first psychedelic I have started to see things in very different way and my thoughts about life in general and the universe has evolved the past year but something was missing. Before that I was a normal kid like you would expect a 16 year old doing at that age. Drinking, partying, skipping school, smoking weed not doing anything responsible or meaningful but that has changed now. My whole life I have had this feeling inside of me that something is missing, I never knew what it was so started smoking weed but it was not that. It was a feeling of some connection to something that has happened in the past but I can't locate the feeling. The only thing I know is that the feeling came from when I was really little, when I still was a baby or before I was born.

To start things off, for  a very long time I have wanted to take psychadelic mushrooms but had a bunch of problems acquiring them since we live in a country where Psychadelics are definitely not very common and getting to know people with mushrooms are often people witch are dangerous and scary drug dealers. Since I live with my parents I had never considered buying from the deep-web, I thought they would probably find my mail or that It might get caught at the border customs but this time I was so desperate so I did it anyways and it worked fine. (Thank God)

-Thursday  12.2.2015 I received the mushrooms (10g) home in an envelope, they looked amazing and I immediately whatsappad my friend witch I was going to take them with, lets call him C.

-Friday I had been waiting all day long to trip, the only thing I could think of in school was shrooms, Shrooms, SHROOOOOMS.... So that day I could not pay attention in class whatsoever.

- 6 PM I and my friend had rented a hostel in a suburb area and the apartment was quite nice, we did not want to be outside since it was winter and  where we live at it is really cold outside in the winter. When we met we almost immediately started to eat them, my friend wanted to take it safely the first time so he ate 2,7g of Psilocybe Cubensis mushrooms. This was also my first time with mushrooms but I had listened to lectures by philosophers called Terence Mc Kenna and Alan watts and they were telling that it is very, very important to take a big enough dose to get the full experience, that is to say (5-8g of shrooms) and I definitely wanted to get the whole thing and learn about the universe so I ate 7,2g since that was my main goal with the whole trip. Keep in mind, I had done psychedelics in the past like LSD and DOx but I knew something was missing, I had not awakened, by awakening I mean that you definitely realize how the universe and your-self works, I had for a long time played with the thought but I could never take it seriously enough.

Anyways we ground up the mushrooms and swallowed them with warm water (we did not make tea). The taste of them was like expected, it tasted like dirt and sand but I have never had a weak stomach so i ate them without a problem. After eating them I rolled a spliff and went outside on the balcony to smoke.

-6:45 PM I don%u2019t feel anything yet and since erowid tells that you should be feeling it within 30 minutes I get this nasty feeling inside of me that they might not work, I did not tell my friend about this.

-7:00 PM Still no effects for me, I started to get really worried and I did not talk too much, I just stared at the walls and just hoped so much that they would work. I was telling repeatedly my friend that they will work and it will soon begin, but with a doubt in my mind.

-7:05 PM My other friend calls, lets call him N, I had completely forgot that I had his weed and still had not dropped it off to him, so I told my friend that we would go to the metro-station real fast and give it to him before the trip began. While I was putting my jacket on I looked in the mirror and I saw that I had huge pupils, this was weird because I did not feel any effects.

-7:10 PM Now it started to feel weird, but I did not know if it was because we had to see my friend in a really fucking shady area of the town or if it was the shrooms. When we got back to the house I could not unlock the door because I started to trip, then suddenly I got this crazy ''dejavu'' feeling that I had been here before and it mindfucked me for a while until my friend C told me that we had been there before because we forgot the weed at first when we were about to leave to see my friend N, this I had completely forgotten.

-7:15 FINALLY, I started to kick in, I started to see things in traces, it was as every second that went by was a separate picture.

This is when completely forgot the concept of time, even though I checked the clock now and then, it did not make any sense, so I wont bother writing the time anymore.

THE ACTUAL TRIP:

I know that what I will describe is only a fractal of what actually happened but I will try my best to describe how a 7g mushroom trip is like. In the beginning I started to see things in a weird kind off way, like everything had traces after it and the sofa I was sitting on started to have beautiful patterns on it, I could transform how the patterns looked just by thinking how I wanted them to look. Then I looked at the roof and it was beautiful, there were colorful swirling things that moved around and danced so to say. But I did not want to spend my night looking at things because I knew this stuff from before, I had seen these hallucinations before on LSD so I wont describe them so much to you, I knew that the world could look like this and that I could transform dimensions on how things look just by imagining. I was waiting for the philosophical thoughts to kick in. I started walking around in the apartment while tripping and found a guitar, even though I cant play anything it was amazing to just play one single note, I could imagine a whole place with one single note and it was as the vibration of the sound could make me create places and feelings inside of my head. At this point we were drawing since I brought pen and paper with me, I have to say that it is one of the most interesting things to do while tripping but sadly I was so distracted by other stuff that I did not draw that much. Now the thoughts started to come in and they were amazing, I single thought was a whole world and you could go so deep inside of it and explore every single detail of the thought in just a couple of seconds. I was able to analyze things in my life and past that were profound for me. I was thrown back in to my child-hood and the more I was tripping the further back in my life I went, I started feeling feelings that I have not felt since I was really little, and finally I came to the place/feeling I had before i was born. This was so beautiful to me that even though I am a grown man I wanted to cry, I realized so many things at the same time that I could not comprehend it. I finally realized that I am alone on this planet and what I am is what will ever be going, I am what is right now, will be and has always has been. I knew that the whole world that I was experiencing was just me and I could finally accept it and say ''hi'' to myself, I had awakened! Many other thoughts came to me while I was tripping but I only remember the most important ones. I understood that what the universe is, is just a one single consciousness and everything is just one, every human being is 'I' , that is why everyone sees them selves as 'I' and that the people I talk to are just me and what they respond is also me, I am hearing what I want them to tell me and that if I want to change what the meaning of what people tell me it is just up to me and nobody else. This lead me to a big conclusion that most people these days have forgotten that they are the creating GOD, not a God in a high kingly or political sense but GOD in a sense of being the self, the only thing that is and ever will be and that we are the God that we want to be. Threw the whole trip I felt like someone was communicating with me, these thoughts were not mine, it was as someone in a other dimension wanted me to know these things so I could be part of a community that could transform society. The communication I had with an another entity, alien or whatever the fuck it was had a motherly or female vibration, I could feel like it was a female consciousness that was contacting me and learning me things. Also one of the bigger thoughts I had was that life is just a dream that we have forgotten that we dream, in the same way when you sleep at night you dream about weird things that don%u2019t have any connection to anything but sometimes you get that dream when you realize that you dream and you can do anything you want, I realized that real life is EXACTLY in the same way, people live in a world that they have created but they have forgotten that they dream and therefore they think that they cant do anything different in this world. But with psychadelics you are able to wake up, and by waking up you can transform the world how you want, your feelings, your relationships. Everything is like Play dough, your thoughts, your world, your everything.

When I realized this I now know why the government has psychadelics illegal and labeled as DRUGS, this keeps the normal population suppressed and easy to control. The government is the main problem and keeps us in a level where they do not want us to evolve, this gives them power to control us and keep up the economy so they can benefit from us without the general population knowing.

In the end of the trip I started to have some bad thoughts, not really a bad trip but I started to lose the touch with the communication with this consciousness and got sad by this. As I said I started getting bad thoughts and it reflected on how talked to my friend, even though I did not mean anything harmful to anyone I know that I said something that upset him but I cant really remember what it was and I am sorry about that.

Magic mushrooms was definitely a much bigger experience then LSD, lsd is like a psychadelic trip without a soul. I think this is because the human has come up with it and mushrooms are from the universe, they were here from the beginning. I also think that a big part of the human evolution is based on magic mushrooms. We once were stupid monkeys until we by accident ate a psychadelic.

Eat mushrooms if you want but keep in mind that there is almost no point in eating to little off them, you should eat at least 2g to learn anything from it.

Sincerely      

XILEF