I Am Running Through A Field Barefoot and It's Hilarious

It started out innocently enough. My friend and i had been planning on taking shrooms for weeks back then, and we decided that the date was that night. i was excited as hell, because this was my first psychedelic of any kind, and in my shitty town this kinda thing is hard to come by. but we knew a guy, so it was all good.

i dont remember a whole lot before the night got started, but i remember that there were 9 of us there that night. my friend who lived there, my friend who brought his sister, my friend who showed up with his girlfriend (both on dxm), our friend who was still in highschool, the friend who sold us the shrooms (Cubensis), and the friend who left early. As soon as it was known that my friend and i were taking shrooms, everybody wanted some. it was a good thing our friend dealt in relatively large amounts.

Everybody but our highschool friend, the seller, and the girl who had to leave early had some. My friend who i had originally planned on taking them with told me to take half an eighth (mostly stalks, but at least 1 good sized cap (i think?)). I went with his advice because he was one of the few there who had taken shrooms before. i remember he had a whole 8th to himself, however. my friend who brought his sister were sold some leftover stalks, and my friends on dxm were given some as well.

i remember thinking that they tasted like dusty asshole when i popped them in. a couple of swigs of coke helped to drown out the taste, and  i chewed them for at least 10 minutes before swallowing. this was the norm for everybody who had some that night, except for my friend who had brought his girlfriend. you know, the one who was on fuckin dxm? he kept going for well over half an hour before swallowing.

i dont remember how long it took to begin to feel the effects. i remember that one minute i was feeling fine, and the next i was swept up in a wave on giddiness. things made a little less sense, and for some reason that was funny. everything was suddenly funny to everybody. i remember being so caught up in this wave i accidentally broke a cane my friend had lying around (which i couldve sworn i was tapping on the ground lightly). i felt like shit, but my friend quickly got over it and we continued on, passing a bong around for good measure.

after this, it only started to get more intense. we all started to get the "what have i gotten myself into" feeling as the ascent of the intensity quickened. where before things were merely funny, things became absolutely hilarious. My friend who sold us the cubes and my highschool friend got onto a casio keyboard and started messing with us. the highschool friend began miming as though he was playing piano, making the funniest thizz face i can remember while rocking back and forth, while the friend who sold us the shit queued up various prerecorded tracks. All of us sat and laughed at this display for what felt like hours. conversation flowed like water between all of us reclining on the floor, each of us dying with laughter (except for the friend on dxm and shrooms, who was bemused but otherwise quiet (my friend suggested that dxm and shrooms might effect one another)). after a while of watching us laugh ourselves raw, the friend who had sold us the shit told us to look at the clock. confused, we all did.

it had been 5 minutes.

it went on like this for hours in real time, but what felt like days in shroom time. as the experience got stronger, i got the closest thing to enlightenment ive ever felt. i felt as though everything in my life leading up to that night had been wrong somehow, and i was forever changed. i couldnt go back to the old way.

somewhere along the line my friend told us to look at the blinds. everybody did, and everybody but me started freaking out. i didnt get it. the blinds were moving, sure, but i assumed that it was because there was a slight draft or something on that side of the room. i found out later that everybody was tripping hard and watching them REALLY move, and that i dont have a lot of luck with hallucinations (as later experiences with dxm, acid, and salvia let me know).

At some point i wandered outside. my friend who lived at the house was concerned, but the dude had taken an 8th of shrooms to himself, and he didnt exactly keep me from walking out the door. at first i was a little concerned about my lack of shoes (i usually take them off at my friend's house), but i ultimately decided to follow the old hindu proverb. it goes something along the lines of "fuck it".

So there i was, wandering around across a hillside i had grown up on, out of my head on shrooms. it was a touching moment for me, and i probably had tears down my face at some point. i didnt care. i was feeling too sentimental for that. eventually i found myself sitting outside, punching a crater in the dirt. once i had a decent sized hole, i plunged my knife into the soil. i did this intermittently multiple times during the night, walking back to the house to assure everybody that i wasnt lost or dead or arrested or whatnot, and wandering back to the hillside. i actually had some hallucinations while i was holding my knife as it stuck out of the ground. i saw the past and future whiz by me in the night sky, and strange planets sailed by. these were short lived, but they gave me the impression that i was piloting the earth through time and space. when i wasnt looking at the sky, i was looking at the city below, surveying the various lights laid out like man made constellations. i felt as though it was my job to protect the hills that i had grown up on

dont ask me why i felt any of this. i was high on shrooms dude.

my friend from highschool came and visited me while this was happening. he asked how i was doing, and i told him i was having something like "an epiphany a minute". he asked me to give him a few examples, and so i rattled them off. giggling, he told me (after i was done) that he had been recording me, so i could listen to myself when i was sober. i asked him to delete these recordings as i beat down an urge to throw him down the hillside. he obliged, apologizing.

as i trudged my way back up the hill, i had a closed eye hallucination of a terrifying pterodactyl skull with hideous eyeballs staring at my from every orifice they could be stuffed in. that was weird.

the rest of the night is kind of a blur. i do remember, however, that one of us smelled a skunk, and we went looking for it armed with a pellet gun. while we were looking for it, we found an odd pile of trash someone had left out in a field. there were various boxes, all sealed, as well as some brick-a-brack. these boxes turned out to be full of disposable vibrating cock rings, condoms, and tins full of flavored lubrication.

that was weird as fuck.

past this, i remember all of us sitting on the hillside, watching the city lights. after this, me walking home, still feeling the after effects, and basking in the light that only a foggy summer morning at 5 am could provide. it was wonderful.

basically: one of the best nights of my life.