This was the most utterly profound experience of my life consequent to conducting sacred rituals per the process outlined in my Book; Sun God Sacred Secrets: the Archaeology, Art & Science of Altered States of Consciousness, and further in my blogs. I´d like to share this with you.

Preparation:

I undertook a three day fast; only drinking herbal teas, water and salty vegetable broths. The fasting helps me with weakening and quietening the ego mind, emptying out the gut (easier to meditate and limits vomiting during the initial phase of entheogen entry to the body), and switches off gut enzymes which break down the hallucinogen payload meaning more gets into the body.

Ceremonial Fire: I conducted a ceremonial fire with invocation the night before after sunset (20^th December 2014). This was held on my roof top terrace in front of Volcans Agua to my south, and Fuego / Acatenango to the west (see my blog) in Antigua Guatemala. The single intention for my trip was personal healing such that when I remerged love & compassion were always in my heart, thoughts, words and actions forever more. Personal prayers and gratitude’s were done and I got to a really good connected spot. I used Michael Harner´s shamanic drumming on repeat for this time. I then get to a point of quiet and effectively meditate on the flames emptying my mind until the flames are no more. This for me is such a lovely wholesome connecting thing to do.

Whilst I accept none of this preparation needs to be done it helps me connect and get to a great spot in my mind and I realise these are sacred things I am doing; I believe the sacred connection is important to the quality and impact of the experience.   

Conducting Ritual Meditation: On 21^st December 2014, the winter solstice, I awoke at 4.45am for a 6.20am sunrise and 05.50am new moon rise on Sunday 21^st. I blended my magic mushroom truffles (2 * 15gram packs of UFO Truffles) the evening before and sat them in water overnight to help the active ingredients get into the liquid for improved entry into the blood stream. These were warmed up before consumption and vegetable stock added to improve palatability. I took the mushrooms at 04.55am and moved to my dark silent cupboard upstairs seated in an iron chair facing magnetic north. I live 1km from a volcano in an enhanced area of geomagnetic activity (volcanoes & volcanic rock). I used a relaxed eyes closed transcendental meditation technique, focussing on my breath, especially the gap between the breaths over the heart region. I could feel the mushrooms generating weak visuals and was left feeling physically uncomfortable; nauseous, cold, sweaty. In my view these, at twice the recommended dose, were not sufficiently potent to get me into altered states of consciousness. I moved to my bedroom to sit upon my bed and took an LSD dose (150mcg) whereupon I accessed altered states of consciousness and transcended.

What Happened?

Seated in eyes closed meditation on my bed; suddenly my dualistic reality collapsed into Unity; as the single observer of the Universe as the Universe; I was everything and everything was I. Observed from the perspective of Unity or “I am” One; bathed in love and compassion for eternity. This was a mind shattering experience! 

PART A: Accessing Altered States of Consciousness

Sitting on my bed on pillows in a legs crossed position with my eyes closed, facing magnetic north, I focussed on my breath; on the gap between the breaths over the base of the heart region. Magic mushrooms (& LSD) make me uncomfortable at the outset (cold, nauseous, wanting to stop meditating and lay down), so I needed to re-centre the mind the whole time bringing my awareness back to the breath. Thoughts then automatically dissipated, then the boundaries of my identity simply dissolved and I was there again.

Aware - as the One all Seeing Eye (Unity) - watching from an observers perspective a kaleidoscoping and changing vista, which ultimately morphed into the entire universe. Initially I was aware of a Buddha like seated shape of energy, with my breath driving this vista. At first this energy was observed as kaleidoscoping geometric and wave like shapes, emanating from a central region of bright light beating like a pulsing heart, with an awareness of “I am”. With each breath layers of dark dissipating energy were shed and converted to nothing and dissipated into eternity. This was replaced by a central light growing in intensity; perceived as an intense indescribable love with each passing breath; the inflow of love, forgiveness and compassion, the outflow of dark energy released. I felt utterly at peace, forgiven and loved, and I was bathed in this for what seemed like an eternity. A depth and profoundness outside of time which gave me an awareness of the beginning to the end, and I was there as One; observer of the universe connected to everything and everything to One.  

The scene then changed and I realised I’d been here before; bathed in an awareness of utter blackness and emptiness held there in eternity as One observing itself (the metacosmic void). An explosion of infinitely bright light pulsed my entire awareness; I was it and it “I” in a spectacular moment of creation emanating from my awareness. This was followed by awareness of clouds of light gas expanding rapidly outwards at infinite speeds. Stars were forming amongst the spiralling coalescing clouds, galaxies forming and moving outwards in all directions. Galaxies sat next to galaxies, neighbouring galaxies sat within clusters, clusters next to clusters. Then all of a sudden I was the entire star studded universe experienced as One; utterly indescribable infinity. Suddenly it made sense, I was observing the creation of the universe as an act of evolution and love witnessed over eternity.

An indelible impression of “I am” filled my awareness, slowly echoing; I am, I am, I am with each breath. As the universe lay before me, above me, below me, inside of me and everywhere my all observing eye could see. An indelible impression of our species purposeful journey came to mind; to emerge into this state of awareness as Unity, One, and the All Seeing Eye. That is our species destiny both individually and collectively, and that of every sentient species in the Universe. Not to cognitively know and espouse this, but to experience it first-hand outside the material dualistic realm.

Meanwhile in this state of Unity, I was bathed in the most profound awareness of indescribable bliss, love, forgiveness, compassion, serenity and a great peace all bathed in eternity while observing the infinite universe. The central region of awareness is of the heart, no longer with dark energy dissipating with each expiration; and I was aware of being profoundly healed, forgiven and loved.

I came to, sitting upon my bed wrapped in blankets, sitting like Buddha with my eyes remaining open for what seemed like a moment or two. My mind empty and disengaged; knowing something utterly profound had just been experienced. I closed my eyes again and I observed my Buddha like body-outline-shape dissipate; more rapidly with each successive closing of the eyes. Replaced by the same awareness of Unity; witnessing the universe as One. I came in and out of this a number of times, and upon re-closing my eyes I was immediately back in Unity. I also knew I was healed, knew I was loved and forgiven. No words can describe the intensity and utter pleasure of that feeling.

Seated in Unity, at one stage of the process, I began to project love and healing energy toward a very special person; injecting a glow of healing energy and love with each successive breath. In this moment of awareness I came to realise I was born a healer (from veterinarian & vaccine innovation) and must now explore my mystic healing capabilities; this is my destiny and life intention.

More than three hours were spent in Unity states, yet it seemed like an eternity. Upon remerging, my mind was not cogent as I lay trying to figure it out. The single most important message, struggling to surface in my rational mind, was “I am” experienced as One; the observer of the universe whose single mission is to evolve life in an act of love so it may experience itself as One. This is our species journey in this Earthly realm; to experience Unity states - the universe as its observer with love in eternity and to do so before we die. It’s literally that simple and it will be etched in my experiential mind forever more. Not to be cognitively aware or learned of such things; but to experience this state of consciousness outside the physical realm. Wow - thank you, thank you, thank you J.

PART B:

After regaining some mind function, balance and coordination, I went upstairs to the roof terrace sitting right in front Volcan Agua (1km from base) and I started to say thank you; where the night before I had conducted an invocation, fire ceremony and cast my healing intentions into the flames. An avalanche of uncontrolled emotion welled up inside, and outpoured a guttural crying like none I’ve ever experienced in my life. I saw my journey in life from conception, through family and adult life, to the present moment flash before me. Trapped in my relative ignorance and played out through a lifetime of suffering; particularly at the level of my family life.

First my consciousness projected toward my father, and I felt his love again and he now knows I love him! I cried so hard; I love you, forgive you and please forgive me. We knew no better and were both victims of our ignorance and the suffering played out through our family and adult lives. My attention next turned to my Mother and the same thing; and so painfully hard this all felt (raw awareness). In my mind-awareness I embraced them both and then knew I had to call my Mum, who I have not talked to in an embarrassingly very long time (two days later she visited me in Guatemala). My childhood was not anything I´d wish upon anyone, and whilst there were many good things in it, this was punctuated by an abusive paternal regime. It left deep scars which I have carried with me all my life; I have lived with a seed of anger, fear, guilt and shame inside me since childhood. I have projected the warrior spirit and his apparent strength to hide the weak hurt child inside of me, and done this without mindfulness or care. I knew no better as a child, nor as an adult as I ran off into a life of adventure, learning, travel, goals and mayhem; oftentimes leaving behind me a path of suffering for which I am truly heartfelt sorry.

I know in my very core this baggage I have carried no longer serves me or my life and I feel a huge weight lifted from my shoulders. I was awash with acceptance; It simply is what it is, and was what it was. None of the baggage I had clung on to all my life mattered anymore. I literally felt myself let go of the anger, fear, guilt and shame; and felt a most intense wave of forgiveness, love and compassion wash right through me to my body & mind´s core. The mind quiet, with love, forgiveness, compassion and peace in my heart. Nothing else mattered. 

Please remember all humans are capable of this type of profound experience with the ability to profoundly self-heal. Only rarely do people like Eckhart Tolle spontaneously achieve these states and insight – the rest of us must work at it! From my perspective this involves a threefold process for evolving our day to day spirituality; 1) unlearning beliefs and habits, and relearning new ones which place love, compassion, and kindness at the core, 2) practicing meditation daily, and 3) conducting sacred rituals utilizing entheogens at sacred time.

If you´d like to know more about these ancient sacred rituals, please read my book Sun God Sacred Secrets.. You´ll get new tools and know-how to help you access altered states of consciousness, and you can view the archaeological evidence which has always been before our eyes.