Night of the Apocalypse (LONG)

It has been a while since I have been on the Shroomery or posted anything, even when I was on frequently I didn't post much, but nonetheless here is my first trip report I have posted, but certainly not my first trip. I have really debated whether or not to post this report in fear that anyone reading it would tell me how irresponsible myself and the others in this story were. I did not want this report to reflect my use of psychedelic substances. I am a responsible user of these drugs with the utmost respect for them, but it seems that I had a moment of irresponsibility and it did not end well. I don’t remember most of the night so most of what happened in real life was told to me later. I had a much different night inside my own head. This happened on a weekend in November 2014. Well here I go:

Background:

                Me and my good friend B were visiting some friends at their college for a weekend to celebrate my buddy Ry’s birthday. We had brought with us several LSD tabs that were dosed at 200ug each from a very reliable source. Although many say don’t believe what the dealer says, after taking them I would say that 200ug sounds pretty accurate. We were staying at my friend T’s apartment style dorm. There were 6 of us hanging out in the dorm, T, B, E, Ry, Ri, and myself. We were all good friends through high school and have remained good friends over the last few years. Everyone in the group had had some experience with psychedelics (LSD, Mushrooms), high doses of marijuana, and a few other substances. We dosed at night, but everyone besides Ri and Ry had been dabbing all day.

7:00 PM:

                Every but myself doses. T 1 tab, E 1 tab, Ri ½ tab, and B 1 ½ tab. We all went to a dining hall to eat something before the trip started and really to have something to do while it kicked in. While we finishing eating B tells me that he is starting to feel that energetic come up feeling and as does the rest of the group so we decide it is probably best if we go back to the dorm and hang out.

8:00 PM:

                 We get back to the dorm and I drop 2 tabs. At this point everyone else’s trips have started and everyone is having a good time, laughing and whatnot. Some of us take another dab or two. Within about 20 minutes I start to feel that energetic come up. Me and Ry start playing a game of 2k13 and it was perhaps one of the funniest things I have seen because how bad we were at the game and because how crazy the players looked. Visuals started to really kick in at about 8:30. After the game we were just sitting there talking and Ri hands B a water bottle and asks if he would like some. All of a sudden B starts to look really really terrified and starts to yell for help. We thought he was just joking for a second but then we could see he was serious. He kept yelling “NO NO STOP HELP HELP” and things like that. We got him to calm down and told him it was just the drugs and stuff but he didn’t say much, but for most the night he kept repeating “We’re chillin, we’re chillin” over and over again. Anyways, went he stopped yelling he had this really scary look on his face and the look he had in his eye looked like we had just killed our friend. At this point I was tripping my face off and my thoughts were not very rational. I thought that some evil or lost spirit had taken control of B’s body and our friend as we knew him was gone, dead, or lost in some psychedelic spiritual conscious void. I was convinced that any moment he would try to kill us, or just me. But obviously that didn’t happen and B just sat there in silence. E says that we should put in a movie just to calm everything down. Everyone agrees so we put in Fellowship of the Ring. As we watch the opening scene with the elven woman talking about the rings of power, the wall seems to get farther and farther away as if the room was expanding. Then the battle scene begins, I am a huge LOTR fan, but in this mental state I could not handle the battle scene. There was just way too much going on for me to handle. Strange yells and sounds of fighting fill the room and it was just the last thing any of us needed to hear. Also watching elves and orcs fighting was pretty frightening. I stand up and said “dude I can’t watch this shit right now”. Everyone agrees so we turn it off.

9:00 PM:

                Everyone except B move into the main room to give B his space. We hadn’t talked about what had happened with the freak out. At this point I was beginning to think that maybe I just imagined it. I look around the room and said “so are we going to talk about what just happened?” Everyone else seemed to think that he had just had an anxiety attack from the overwhelming effects of the LSD and dabs and having 6 people in one small room. They explain this to me several times but I just keep asking if we are going to talk about it. Then this horrible thought creeps into my mind that perhaps everyone was on his side and they were all going to kill me. I thought that they were all lying to me. But I make no mention of these horrible thoughts. B eventually walks out of the bedroom and sits in the main room. By the look in his eyes I can tell he is obviously having some intense visuals and a pretty intense mind fuck. T puts on some music to calm the mood and it seems to work for everyone except me. I keep thinking that I am going to be murdered. These thoughts evolve into either me or B has to be sacrificed and that they have sided with him. At the same time another part of me trusts my friends that they wouldn’t harm me. I began to get very scared and I can feel my blood pressure going through the roof It continues to get higher and higher (maybe my imagination?). Then all of a sudden I feel that all the life had been sucked out of the world. I don’t know who to possibly describe the feeling. It just felt like my soul had died and that life on earth would never be the same for me or anyone, but that no one wanted to admit that their soul had died. I had the sudden urge to smoke a cigarette so I ask someone to come with me outside and Ri and T come outside with me.

                At this point of the report is where I kind of start to lose my shit and I don’t remember much of what happened, only fragments of memory. Most of this was told to me afterwards. This trip was more of a mental trip than a visual trip. It felt like my mind was in a deep fryer and my body was on autopilot or something. I don’t really remember having too crazy of visuals for a dose like that. The typical tracers, color saturation, things morphing/moving/melting. But it did seem like what I was seeing was just a warped and wobbly curtain or screen. Very hard to explain.

10:00 PM- 12:00 AMish:

                We get downstairs and outside and I am not even sure if I ever did smoke a cigarette, but this is when the thought loops began. I kept asking what happened to B. We go on a walk in hopes that it might calm me down.  Ri and T explained what had happened but right when they would finish explaining I would just say “oh yeah that makes sense” and then ask what had happened again. This repeated several times. Then I started to ask “you guys wouldn’t lie to me right” and they would say “of course not we are you’re friends”. I would also repeatedly ask “Is it me?”. I seemed to start to think that I was the problem.  At some point in the walk I asked “so B is perfectly fine, it is just the drugs, and he is going to be okay?” They told me that he was going to be perfectly fine.  This seemed to calm me down. I believe that it settled my fear that an intruder had possessed B. T even convinced me that he was completely sober and that seemed to calm me too for whatever reason. In reality he was tripping nut so I’m not quite sure why I believed him. During the walk we went into a fast food place, T and Ri were trying to get me to eat or drink something. I don’t know if I did. I don’t even remember going into any buildings. We began our walk back. We had to walk up hill and I believe it was tiring me out. I began lying on the sidewalk and the in the road. T and Ri had to help me up several times. The thought loops come back and keep asking the same questions as before. And then the feeling of my soul being dead comes back to me. By time we got back to the dorm I am completely convinced that the world is ending that night.

                This part of the story is where what I experienced was much different than what was going on in reality.

12:00 AM- 4:00 AM:

                We get back upstairs to the dorm and from what E and Ry tell us, it seems that B is going a little bit crazy, but not yelling or anything like before. We walk back into the bedroom where B is and he starts to yell T’s name “T*****! T*****! T*****! NOT J**! NOT J**!” (I am J**). The story separates now because when he yelled NOT J**! The visual curtain I mention earlier was torn away. I was in a room with Elder Beings. They explained to me that life on planet earth and mankind as we know it would end tonight if I did not sacrifice my body and soul to them. If I did, the earth would be saved and people would get their souls back. I told them I would do it. I felt my arms and legs form together and my body transformed into a golden circle and I began to spin faster and faster and faster until I had gained enough speed and BOOM! I felt my body scatter across every reach of the universe. The spinning and explosion were very painful but after the explosion I felt amazing. I felt weightless and free like a cloud. Then I realized that in order to save the old universe It had to be destroyed and a new one had to be created and I was the second Big Bang.

                I came out of it, but I couldn’t remember who I was. I thought that I was going to have to start a new life. I was in the local ER in a hospital bed next to B. We were both hand cuffed to the bed. I was very confused. I kept asking the nurses what had happened and they would say “well it looks like you and your friend took some acid and they brought you in.” They never explained who they was. I was still tripping decently hard so I was still pretty confused. They loaded me and B up with valium and I fell asleep from an hour or so. Sometime in the mix they undid the cuffs now that we were somewhat coherent.  I woke up and a doctor was giving B stitches above his eye. I couldn’t help but think ‘what the fuck happened last night?’ I wasn’t even sure what time it was. I thought it was days or weeks maybe later, so I asked the Doctor and he told us that it was about 4:00 AM. I was relieved to know that it had only been a few hours. They gave us our clothes and possessions and I found my phone and called Ri to find out what happened. He came and picked us up a few hours later because he was still tripping at that point and didn’t feel safe driving. We got our things out of the dorm quick, because the school security had banned both B and I from campus and we could be arrested on sight. We got our things and I drove back to the city I lived in as fast as I could.

                What had actually happened was after B yelled “NOT J**” My body on auto pilot stayed calm and T and Ri got me to lay on the couch in the main room. B starting becoming very confused or something. I’m not quite sure how this all happened but he started yelling again and getting really tense like he was going to punch something. T’s other roommate D and his friend N had just came into the dorm. They were both sober and T and the rest asked for their help because they didn’t know what to do about B. Somehow B started to attack people so D and N (both strong guys) were trying to restrain him. B was flailing all over and ended up hitting his head on the underside of a bed. He started to bleed all over. At that point they decided it was time to get some help. T and Ri were watching over me for most of this while I was in a whole different place. T and Ri gather all the drugs, bongs/rigs, alcohol, and anything drug related and took it out to Ri’s car. While they were gone, the rest of the group got the RA of the floor and he called the paramedics. The paramedics arrive along with police officers. Ri and T get back and the police start to interview people in the dorm. I got up from the couch to try to figure out what was going on and started falling over so they figured I was fucked up too. Recently I found out that the police tried to interview me and realized I too was on acid :/ I guess that didn’t go to well and I ended up falling all over and resisting and they took me with B. T and the rest of the group told the police that B and I went to a party and came back messed up so that they wouldn’t get in trouble for doing drugs in the dorms. The police seemed to believe that they were all sober even though more than half the people in the dorm were tripping.

                In the end we were all still good friends. It is unfortunate that I can’t go back to their campus to visit though. After what happened nobody heard from B for a while. I talked to him about a week later to borrow some Seinfeld seasons but we didn’t really talk about what happened. It was actually really really awkward. No body heard for him for about a month. We were all worried that he might have had psychological trauma and that he didn’t want to talk to us. We later found out that he lost his phone that night and it just took him a really long time to get a new one. We have all hung out since then and he is still the same old B which was a huge relief. We ended up talking about what happened that night about a month and a half after it happened.

                The first time he started yelling was because when Ri handed him a water bottle he thought I was a gun and Ri saying “you know what to do”. From that point on he was pretty freaked out and was having suicidal thoughts. When he yelled T***** and Not J** it was because he thought that he had to either choose T and he would live or Me and he would die. This is because the shirt I had on at the time was pretty fucked up. In hindsight I probably should have changed my shirt before dropping.

                Sorry for such a long report, but you would believe how much better it makes me feel to finally get it out. This was the only bad incident I have ever had with using LSD. It was entirely our faults for dropping doses like that in a dorm. We were very irresponsible with such a powerful substance, especially mixing it with dabs, which for me can double or triple to effects of the trip. If you feel like commenting please don’t say how stupid we were or any holier than thou stuff and about using psychedelics. I myself, and the other members of the event all known how bad of a decision that was. I know a lot of people who mess around with acid and RCs like 25i and shit who just take a bunch and say ‘let’s see where the night takes me’ and just expect it to be fine in the end. That means that there are obviously other people out there that I don’t know that do the same so take note that seeing where the night takes you can land you in the hospital or thinking that your best friends are about to kill you.

                 I have used LSD since that night and haven’t had a bad experience. Although I wouldn’t call this a fun or good trip, the death/ sacrifice and universe creation or whatever it can be called was a very profound and amazing experience. I felt as though I had met the makers of the universe. Until I found out what happened on planet earth with being arrested and taken to the hospital by police, I truly believed I had met these Elder Beings, but once I found out what happened it didn’t seem so real. Maybe I did meet them, maybe I didn’t. I plan on taking a large dose soon in hopes of seeing them again to find it, but this time in the safety of my own house, where I won’t be arrested or some shit.

                Anyways thanks for reading if you did, and happy tripping.