This is going to be an extensive report on my first psychedelic experience alone.
Okay, I had been wanting to experience shrooms by myself for the first time for months since I had turned 19.
I had already taken acid 7 times and shrooms another 6. So for the 7th time I wanted it to be alone, in my house, when nobody would be home for the entire time that I am tripping.
(my house is extremely comfortable to be in, for me of course, with a beautiful backyard and pool.)
When I had the date planned out and the shrooms bought and stored away, I did a little research to find the best methods of preparing shroom tea, which I have found on this website here:
Also, I created a page on my Note app on my Macbook, titled "Trip preparation"
In it I made different sections with things to do, mostly links to music on youtube, mostly classical music. Actually the majority of the trip I ended up listening to classical music, more on that later.
I gave myself options, should I feel the need to do anything besides what I was doing presently. A common occurrence in my previous experiences with other people was a strong sense of "what do I want to do now?" because mostly everything we wanted to do was either too complex or unavailable, mainly due to lack of preparation.
So, lets begin the day, as I woke up at around 7:30 in the morning. My mom had gone to work, and I had an alarm set to make sure I was up. I turned the A/C down to 69, because I think its a perfect temp, and took a nice long hot shower after, so that I could make sure I was feeling refreshed and energized. I had an empty stomach, making sure not to eat too much the night before. I went to my room after and cleaned everything up off the ground, the table the dresser, everything. It was SPOTLESS. I wanted my environment to be as comfortable as possible. I had a change of clothes, and my swim trunks with a towel laid out next to it should I want to go swimming. I pre-rolled a blunt and drove to the gas station to grab a pack of cigarettes, again just to give myself options. I was back and ready to begin making the tea by 8am. I had fresh mint and ginger in the kitchen, so I added them to the mixture, and I HIGHLY RECOMMEND if possible. The tea was ready and cooling, so I brought it back to my room and started to play this indie game on my xbox one called guacamelee. (Could be fun if youre really good at it, but when youre tripping it gets difficult.) Let me just say that from the time I started making the tea to the time I started drinking the tea, I had good quality headphones on listening to music like Beethoven moonlight sonata, Pachebel Canon in D minor, Debussy Clair de lune, perhaps Beethovens 17th piano sonata as well, but I believe I only had time to listen to these before the effects kicked in. Which I started to feel that turning feeling in my stomach within 20-30 minutes of drinking the tea, the visuals were apparent after only 45 minutes. Quite a fast oncoming, but very enjoyable.
Anyways, once the effects kicked in, and the game I was playing became tedious to play, I went to netflix and looked for a good movie to watch. On my notes I had a section titled "Movies" and it had 3 options, MOVIES: The Fountain, Across The Universe, Disney Movies. The first two werent on netflix, which I didnt think about when I had made the notes, so I turned to disney movies, and found Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2. It looked like a very interesting and most likely trippy plot line, so I pressed play. Going into detail on the experience of watching the movie might get long and drawn out, but it was overall an amazing experience, from the animations, to the quality of the sound, and the changes in atmosphere with the sound from one scene to the next, were absolutely remarkable. The main point of the movie for me however, was not just tripping, but exploring my mind. I did Not intend for the experience to go in this direction, but the movie had themes that gave me the mindset that we were going on adventure to explore my own mind. For example the main dialogue in the scenes would be the focus of a main scene, but my focus would be on the animations, or I would play with different perspectives of each character, and pretend like I was that character, or that the character was actually talking to me like the designers of the movie had intended the movie to be experienced on psychedelics.
Okay the movie was definitely a big part of the overall experience, as it gave me specific ideas to think about, and sort of opened my mind to go a direction I never thought I would get to. But the key factor, for the entire experience, was that I took breaks in the movie, as the shrooms effect became more intense. Since I took it in tea form, the effects kicked in very quickly, and so within the first 20 minutes of the movie I took my first break to smoke my pre-rolled blunt and listen to music outside in the amazing weather and beautiful jungle looking backyard. And when I looked through my phone to find music, I started with youtube, and found "Hunger of the Pine" by Alt-J, which was euphoric. But after one listen to that song, I felt a strong desire to go back to the classical music I started the experience with. And so, I ended up listening to Beethoven Symphony No. 9, starting with movement 1, of course. (I have all of Beethoven's symphonies remastered on my phone, along with Astro a40 headset so the quality of the sound was impeccable, and definitely influenced the quality of the trip.) After pressing play, I started to smoke the blunt I had rolled, and allowed myself to trip as hard as I could. I stayed outside and smoked a cigarette after I finished the blunt to increase the effect while listening to the first movement. This time to myself, allowed me to slow down and calm down, much needed after the fast come-up, I was able to take a deep breath and just allow the music to take over me in a way. As the first movement was coming to an end, I got up and went back to my room, got back in bed and got comfortable, and waited for it to finish. Once it did I played the movie again, and had a fucking blast! The movie was so amazing to watch I was laughing and crying at the same time at certain points, and at one point I yelled out OH MY GOD I FEEL LIKE A KID AGAIN THIS IS AMAZING!
Again after watching the movie some more I paused to take another break, and so I listened to the second movement, of Beethovens 9th, and again walked outside to smoke a cigarette. I had this giddy feeling in me the whole time, it was JOY, and I was loving this feeling so much that no matter what I decided to bring my mind to, I would be joyful, and my patterns of thought would stay positive. This wasn't something on my mind at the time but something I realized later, but I could think about anything whether it was sad or if it hurt my ego to think about, and I could see the problems, and the solutions, with an unbiased perspective, of who I am, past present and future. I believe the music allowed this free thinking to transpire, comparing to the euphoric sounding music of Alt-J, which targets few emotions but intensified, rather classical music seems to keep your emotions stable, and structured, and truly frees your mind to think clearly. The second movement came to a close and I repeated the process of watching the movie again.
One more time I took a break maybe a little over an hour into the movie, to smoke a second pre-rolled blunt, and to listen to the third movement of the 9th symphony. You see in the back of my mind I already knew and realized how I would listen to the whole symphony, in pieces, and it would be side by side with the experience of the movie. The third movement was amazing to listen to just as much as the first and second, and the way I listened to each movement by taking a break in between gave me time to rest, and added an extra sense of beauty in each piece. I could focus my full attention on every nuance of the music, and feel the the strings of the orchestra. It was SURREAL. MARVELOUS. As the third movement came to a close, and I was comfortable in bed, I played the movie a final time. (Each time I pressed play I was excited and eager to watch the movie, cause I was genuinely interested in how it ended.) The main question the movie asked me, in this perspective I was watching it with, "Can your ideas change the world?" That question echoes in the movie, and so it echoed in my mind every so often as I watched till the end, and even after. The movie was fantastic, I recommend it without a doubt. Obviously its for kids, but the psychedelic experience itself influences your mind to experience things like a child does, in certain aspects, which the movie is designed for. Any childrens animated movie is perfect for psychedelics, this is my theory and I stand by it.
After the movie was over, I played the final movement of no. 9, called Ode to Joy.
First just think about how everything led up to this moment, the final movement, my peak of the trip, all if it timed so perfectly. Im laying in bed laying perfectly still with headphones on at full volume, staring up at my ceiling while the music plays. I was teary eyed at some parts leading up to the choral section, but the moment the first voice broke in, I felt a tear run down my cheek. I was feeling such immense joy, with full body chills. Every nuance of the resonating voices and harmonies were dominating the whole experience I was having. It was like my mind became the music. It was just me laying in bed, and for a time, I forgot about myself in a way, and all that was left was this masterful music. The ceiling started to fade or transform slowly into this big rotating dark purple tunnel, with a bright white light in the middle, or the end of the tunnel. Every direction into the wall of the tunnel I looked it was like I was experiencing a different thought or idea or feeling, and it occurred to me that I was staring at my own stream of consciousness, and my mind was the tunnel, the light was providing my mind with conscious experience. The light meant to me that I was alive, and experiencing my own experience.
The music ended, and as I removed the headset, this classical music atmosphere that my mind had gotten used to did not go away. I was still hearing the music. But it wasn't the symphony I had just heard, it was like my own music. I wasn't actively creating the music as you would normally, it was remarkably automatic. Literally like some classical music was being played at every moment for a couple hours after that point, and it was automatic. I couldn't not hear it, and it was unlike anything I had heard. I have no idea what it sounded like as I write this to you know, but it sounded very soothing, and interesting at the same time from what I remember. It created an atmosphere that I could just sit in, and think to myself about anything.
Then, I stuck my head in my pillow and experienced pitch blackness, cause I wanted to see my visuals more. At first it seemed I was just moving through these shapes and patterns, until I could see a silhouette figure of a man sitting yoga style with his hands out on his knees, indexes to thumbs, to give you the picture. A spiral of light came out of his forehead metaphorically where his third eye would be, and connected with the shapes and light that was behind the silhouette to create a visual paradox. I had a sense of "this is me that I am looking at right now" and an even bigger sense of understanding of who I am past, present, and future.
This was the best and most enlightening psychedelic experience I have ever had, out of 14 now. The effects lasted about 6 hours, and I finished the experience with swimming in the pool, and floating while looking at the clouds.
Let me just say, sorry this was so long, but I feel every bit was important for an accurate understanding of my experience. I intend this story to help people who have not tripped alone before or have never tripped at all, and want some insight into how the experience is like, as reading stories like this helped me tremendously when I first started my research before my first ever trip. If anyone has any questions about any detail of my experience please feel free to ask I would be more than happy to discuss.
Also, I guess if anything, I want to know if anyone else has had similar experiences with classical music? Or have had any experiences with classical music for that matter.
Thank you for reading my first post to the shroomery :)