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5 Drops of Repentance(first liquid trip)

I think I'm done with psychedelics

We'd been getting weak stuff for a while, so when LSD came knocking again, I took 5 drops. I will have some trouble with details as this trip was multiple weeks ago.

I was with a couple of friends, and one thing leads to another, we end up getting some liquid LSD. We were all trying to decide how much to take. Having had weak acid the past few trips, I said "Screw it. Give me five." I take five drops from the vial, under my tongue, and an instant burning sensation occurred. Nothing painful, but VERY obvious. I was told it was the alcohol it was diluted with. 

After fifteen minutes, I felt a slight head change and tell my friend I'm feeling it already. He said there's no way. It's just placebo. 

But ten minutes after that, it was obvious to all of us. We couldn't have talked our way out of it. 

After an hour, we were frying balls. Huge body high, vision splitting and shattering, and after a total of two and a half hours, I don't know man. F***. The stuff we were used to took this long to put us where we were this night in half an hour. We usually didn't feel ANYthing on other batches for an hour, tops. 

The whole night, I watched windows form in front of me, get melted by acid rain, watched the stars buzz around like flies, and I was actually smoking some strong pot just to stay level headed. Whatever that meant. If you knew me, you'd be surprised. 

After a few hours of feeling like a piece of shit for every evil deed I've done in life, I was in ultimate bliss. Mild fluctuation of intensity, slightly up, slightly down. Slightly up, slightly down, throughout the night. About ten hours straight. My friend and his girl went downstairs to screw, and I found a trippy video where you look at the center of the screen, look away at the end and everything is supposed to warp. My friend comes back up as I'm in the middle of it, and says "Aren't you already seeing enough s***? You trip me out, I love you." I look away and there wasn't a whole lot of difference I was so f***** up! Yes, there was some difference, but not as much as being sober. Then anytime throughout the rest of the night I wished, I could at will, make walls do the same warping that the video did.

 If I would have taken ten drops, who knows where I would have thought that night. I felt like I was pushing the limits of comfort, because I felt about as great as possible before losing it. The euphoria I was experiencing was similar to Molly. I felt supreme excellence! I felt like I had all the answers to the universe(some would call this "accessing the Akashic Records." Shamans are said to achieve this state in trance). Despite this feeling, I didn't need to prove it. It was simply there, and I was aware of it. 

Kaleidoscopic vision was taking place in someone else's mind, not mine. Someone was seeing it, but not me. And the truth is, not even the person that was seeing it, was seeing it! It was happening, but not here. Hard to explain or understand accurately while sober. 

If I would have had one more drop, it probably would have been too much. Two more? WAY too much. Pot gives you a steady one dimensional set of effects; Any or all of: Happiness, couch-lock, hunger, sleep, energy, depression, paranoia, and maybe a few more. But LSD is not as predictable. It takes you down a different road every time, at least in my experiences. You can be smart one minute, scared s***less the next, in a dream three minutes and thirty three seconds from now, or floating through space in a smiling grape-ship eons ago. 

You are in your own world as philosophical talk procures laughter one minute, while the next minute you are part of everything and everything is part of you. Realizing time is nonexistent, every thought, every molecule, every atom is one. It is one. 

"Be here now" by Ram Dass is the perfect quote for this epiphany. 

The sunrise that morning lasted for an eternity. I kept wanting to get my camera, but felt that the sun rays would fade any moment. That's what I wanted to capture. The sun rays piercing the fluffy pink and purple clouds like fine blades of golden butter. The next day, I decided I was done with the whole psychedelic phase. I was still having uncontrollable spurts of fractals a month after this trip, and can to this day with minimal effort, make it happen if I try. After approximately fifteen or twenty doses in totality of experiences, I truly believe I have had my life's share of this beautiful mystery. I can't give enough thanks for this.

One last thing, I wouldn't do acid at first because I was afraid of it, with all the stories abound. Being on the Autism spectrum, when I heard that it has been used in studies of Autism, I felt ready to receive it. 

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