Done shrooms once before 3.5g, as the usual goes.. IT WAS PROFOUND. I reached a higher empathy, understanding, and expansion. Being over a year and a half past due, I came across another opportunity of this wonderful fungi spontaneously on a Fourth of July (Amuurikaa!!). I hit a spiritual epiphany on some great molly earlier that month, and since then I reached a higher sense of wisdom and sorta connected the puzzle with religious text in my sense. Along with the whole mumble jumble of questions of who are we? why are here? and who put this dust in my weed? So after that, I became more spiritually in tuned and stuffs, that I was not in this drug experience for a good time anymore, nope, na uh, no way. I wanted to achieve wisdom, answers, and whatever I can bring back to this world for the benefits of others. Being an artist, I want to communicate through my work to inspire anyone to move forward in a positive manner. So my intentions were well, and I am thankful today that I got what I asked for.Setting:
Rainy Fourth of July, we had set up cool freakin' laser beams and party lights in the room to set up nice visual vibe. Art on the walls as well as a huge rad Jim Morrison poster (later comes into play). It was 4 of us, 3 trippers and 1 one sitter who insisted on tokin some dusty ganja.Dosage:
Originally we were aiming an 3.5g each, but fell short on scoring so we spit 7.0g each. Averaging about 2.3g for each vato and chola (my gf).
Preparation: I made a prayer to God that in my trip I wanted to reach closer to divinity, and I wanted to see my faults, demons, errors of my ways to better fix myself. But most importantly, I wanted to learn and take in as much information as I can bring back and use it for the help of others around me. After that I took the shrooms raw as well as everyone else.
Questions: What is my purpose? How can I help? What are some answers to some common mysteries?
Trip: Taking about 30 minutes to set in, I notice how gentle and comforting the come up was. Slowly my mind was drifting away from reality, yet I still had a firm grip of it. An hour or two later, I realize the visuals were much weaker, a bit of glow and color shift, but nothing too interesting. Yet my mind was something else, being present in reality, this overwhelming voice came into my head. And i just sensed, I just sensed I tell you that it was an higher entity ready to take me to a journey.
The entity felt sweet, comforting, and peaceful, but also very wise and powerful in its nature. I was faced with a magnificent being of light that I was in awe in all its glory. It had no form, it was so bright I could not look at it, I knew right then and there I had to humble myself and turn myself to humility. So I did, I did because I found out I was breath of light, a soul, a gift from the almighty. I was filled with so much appreciation for this gift of life that I bowed down to it and completely surrendered. Which I found to be out of love, giving it complete acceptance anything, and its intentions for me. As I did that, it took me in like a baby, and of all honestly it was just bliss. Then the learning came through, I was shown the universe as a playground to experience, wander, learn, and grow! I was explained how we have absolute free will, and there is no wrong or good to where we explore. We have an impact on everything we do, decide, and more. We have influences as well as we influence other beings, weaker and maybe even stronger. I know a lot of this is basic, but this still applied in grander perspective than just in our tiny world. It was a refreshing reminder. And then...then I was shown the void.
I asked what is the purpose of the void? and I was explained about duality. How things work from contrast. Light and dark, good and evil etc. In a way to look at the void, it seemed to be the bad neighborhoods of the universe. You can explore that area, but with it comes consequences of pain, suffering, torment, and isolation. But experiencing it also came deep deep wisdom and understanding you can not get anywhere else. Eventually every being will make it out of the void. And in a sense of familiarity I have felt I have been there once before. It was then that I knew we really should not fear anything, or any entity. Just like everyone else, some are just in a bad place momentarily. Beware of the influences, but also understand. It was then I sorta overcame this fear of hell/void. This quote popped in my head to sorta explain this bravery. "Do not fear to look Satan into the eyes, and point him the way to the light". Contemplating about it, if Satan does exist..he must know the light better than anyone being in contrast of how deep in the dark he is! But just a thought.
After this I was left a bit disturbed, then I had another important question in my mind. What is my purpose? I felt the trip sorta wearing off, the connection growing weaker and weaker. I was told that I was sort of an messenger this time around, and a guardian. I denied this, somehow I could not see myself having in such a important role as some sort. Yet again this could have been the connection growing weaker, and my ego could have slowly been coming back into the picture. Then I got an answer to a question I did not ask, but if I were to guess why, the question was lingering deep in the back of my head. And it was "Whatsup with my death yo?
I will be living a short promising life. I was told. And thats when it got to me... "SHORT". I was really disturbed by now. Learning what I have learn, I realized much more how precious this life is. After that I prayed. I never in my life have prayed so real deep down to my heart. I prayed to not let this be true, I wanted to help/guide those around me. I did not want any of them to risk spending time in the void, for they do not know how horrible it is. Shortly after I teared up, I did not know if I can tell others of what I experienced, and my potential destiny with death in this life. Then I got that vibe from that being again, and I looked it was pulling me to look at that Jim Morrison poster. I saw how influential Jim Morrison had been, how powerful his words, music and poetry was. I had the potential of this gift as an artist, and If I lead the right path I will fill the better plan God had in store for me.
Now how can I help people? In the grand scheme of things, I was shown how little to nothing I know about anything. So any knowledge. I share can potentially be dangerous and drive others away from their right path unknowingly. This was a bit confusing in sense, but I got it in the that its best to let people take their own road and just set a good example. Eventually everyone will make it where they need/want to be. If they need guidance than by all means give it to them, but also point to a better directions from a higher source.
Summary: I had learned many serious valuable lessons, many that I can never put into words which I find unfortunate that I can not share. I am careful to say wither this being was the supreme God, but it was definitely a great one. I remember reading a passage from the bible as to saying those who seek the truth, shall find it, then be disturbed. And boy was I disturbed after. I was left so much to contemplate. Most of what I learn were lessons that commonly already existed here, yet applying to a larger sense of reality as well. Overall it was a amazing trip, and was pleased with the wisdom I have brought in into my life. At the end of it I was crying out of humility and beauty of our existence. It is difficult to live in this world and not be negatively influence, assuming we want to reach the heavens. In the end life is a miracle, enjoy it while you can :D