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Pushing the limits with MDMA / MDA
S suggested going for a walk in the complete darkness in the middle of no-where 'like this' was probably not a good idea
Time to give back after reading most (probably all) these reports. Apologies for the length and detail of this report this was an experience SWIM has been thinking about for a while and life is so different now.This event took place a few years ago somewhere near the South Australia, New South Wales, Victoria border on the River Murray on a houseboat.
People;
M (who is SWIM), D (who was M's fiance), A, S and 2 sitters. M, D and A had lots of experience with MDMA, S was doing it for the first time. Age group was 26-36 all fit and healthy.
Set and Setting;
Late March on the river Murray on a 12 berth(?) houseboat spa and deck on the top, beds and large kitchen dining on the bottom. The boat came with a 2 person canoe. The party had traveled two days prior from Renmark heading upstream to the middle of no where with only CB-radio communication. M was close to A and S having being on the same bowling team with them for the previous 5 years. M had got engaged to D a few years before that but she had only known A and S for about 1 year. Things weren't great with M and D at the time. S was not nervous about his first time and M sensed he just wanted to get it over with so he didn't have to do it again. M was concerned that he had been peer pressured but he assured M he was OK with it.
The Report;
S had to find a place to stop on the banks before it got dark (houseboat rules) so S pulled up and tied up to a massive tree on the banks. Everyone had a big meal of pasta and felt pretty good. All had eaten more than they thought they should have so they decided to wait a few hours before the journey. D had brought with her a total of 60 pills, two different kinds 30 of each. D and M had checked out these before so knew what they were and that they were safe. All had a couple of drinks and S had stuck to water to be safe. At about 3 hours after dinner all decided to drop. M, D and A had two each and S had one.
The come up was not easy to remember, it was probably some 30min later. A staggered up to M and told him how much he loved him hysterical laughter erupted, that was the start of the peak for everyone. M and D were stuck on deck chairs squirming to the music unable to get up, S couldn't stop dancing and M found it quite funny watching the sitters trying to keep a very loved up A away from S for what seemed like 10mins or so. The sitters would check in with D and M everything thing was beatiful and D would tell them how much she loved them for the amazing job they were doing looking after A when they were there for S blah blah....
The dancing and carrying on went on for a while as per usual when M and D were able to walk around change music etc they decided they were OK to go again and should soon before it didn't work as well. A had calmed down and D wanted him to fire up again as she found very amusing if not a little annoying. The sitters had stopped A getting in the spa previous to this due to changes in his body temp but decided if he wanted to he could get in now and have his next one in there. S had thought he'd started to come down and wanted another. Now this is where setting plays an important part as the group did not move from the top deck for about 2 hours and they would not move for another two or three.
Over the next period of time which all would agree that nobody knew how long this was it was dark then light. D consumed another 3 pills, M consumed another 6, A consumed another 2 and S consumed another 3. The sitters had done an AMAZING job, they had brought trip toys, pirate stuff, A ended up with an eye-patch and a black rag on his head, M had a toy telescope and D had a toy parrot. They had laid out bottles of water everywhere and had loads of gum and various lollies. Everyone loved the sitters and rightly so. The sitters suggested we don't look at the clock but they thought we were good and were tired and wanted to go to bed. All was good and they had advised to wake them up if 'shit got hectic' and NOT to turn the music down. God bless those sitters.
All decided a walk in nature might be a good idea so went down to the front of the boat where there was a small deck and a bench. Idea was to step off the boat onto land and head north. The party didn't make it to past the comfy looking dining table chairs and decided to sit down to work out just how much they had taken (or probably what was left more importantly) . It was decided to that point in time M had 8, D had 5, S had 4, A had 3 or 4. M suggested to count whats left to work out how much A had but maths was beyond the party. For safety D had got the sitters to hide some of the pills but D couldn't remember how many. S was shocked at how many M had done and was still able to function, sort of. M started the discussion of the most ever done, this was probably the next mistake. A wanted to do more, D had had enough and wanted to have a drink and go to bed. S was (surprisingly) the one who wanted to push the limits.
S discussed (amazingly well) that he was not going to do this again so he wanted to go all out, do 3. D suggested he do 2 and see how he goes, all agreed. A did another 2, S did another 2, M did another 3 and D opened a bottle of wine and became a sitter of sorts and looked after the rest of the pills and suggested we go the other colour since we had pretty much eaten all the one colour all night. The most M had done before this was 12 a few years before and seeing S wanting to push it made him keen to push it too. S had decided 13 was an unlucky number so M should have enough to make it 14. M had another 3 and 1/2 S had another 1/2. A wanted to go back to the top deck and pretend he was a pirate so he was let go. D sat at the dining table drinking wine, she was very tired. It was still dark outside. Time was not important and all decided not to check. M and S sat on the outside deck at the front of the boat.
This change of scenery brought everything on at once for S and M. all that was said for a period of time was 'Jesus' (no disrespect), 'are you OK' and 'are you seeing shit?'. All M could see was about 20-30m in front, everything beyond that was pitch black, except it was not there. This is where it gets hard to explain but it was like M sensed nothing beyond what he could see, nothing there, nothing existed. Jut M and S and a boat, then nothing. M had forgotten or couldn't sense there were people behind him in the boat and what M could see of the trees in the low light coming from the dining room in the boat looked surreal, coloured, he sensed them. S suggested going for a walk in the complete darkness in the middle of no-where 'like this' was probably not a good idea, M advised he didn't even want to try to walk yet. A came back after being bored in the spa alone and sat on the bench with S and M and suggested we go for a walk which brought some laughter.
Now this bit M doesn't care if you believe or not but this is what happened next. All were commenting on how they were getting some pretty intense OEV's especially in the corners of their eyes. M was getting some very obvious OEV's with mainly black shapes forming on the outside of the vision and merging into shapes blocking the centre of the vision. The shapes would form into natural things silhouettes(?) of birds, trees, mountains. Trees did not look like trees but like mosaics or pixels or outlines of morphing shapes (how do you explain this M can't you understand.). At some point while it was still pitch black A said he thought he saw a dog or a sheep or something, it was moving slowly towards us. "Incoming 10 O'clock!" He announced in his whispered Special Ops talk. M and S both looked at the direction and M whispered "That's a fucking sheep man!." S and M agreed but thought it was standing there not moving. A M and S clearly heard a "baaaa." come from it's direction. M jumped, A said 'what the fuck was that?" and S said "I told you it was a sheep."
After some whispered discussion A had convinced M and S to step onshore and try to make contact with the sheep. It was just outside the dim light cast out from the boat but A S and M could all see it and proceeded patrol style without taking their eyes off it. A kept whispering that it may be hurt so approach with caution. Within 10m of the sheep it was still too dark to make out, no one could it's eyes which brought some scary supernatural thoughts to M who froze where he was standing. A was the most concerned with the sheep so got within 5m. He reached out to touch it.... "It's a fucking log!" he said the obvious disappointment in his voice. This brought insane laughter at first and silence soon after when S asked "why did it baa?". This brought M back to reality some and he suggested shit was too weird so to head back to the safety of the boat. All agreed.
As the light came up D had already gone to bed. A, M and S headed to the back of the boat where there was a 2 man canoe, A wanted to sit in the spa and be the lookout with his eye path and the telescope that M couldn't use anymore. S had wanted to go out in the canoe, M had somehow convinced him that they would sink. S found it offensive that M suggested that and proceeded to walk off the back deck into the back end of the canoe. He was standing in he canoe all of 2 seconds before it tipped him out. M jumped in to save him although he didn't need to as S already had his head out of the water laughing hysterically. M and S went upstairs to join A in the spa to warm up. M laid his head back to look at the sky which was a real dark red. A suggested he could see a flock of black birds on the horizon, S said he could hear birds but not see them.
M went into something weird, the OEV's become more intense than the last time and all around the outside of the circle of vision black birds started to fly in a clockwise direction. There were thousands of them, they flew around in circles a bit then started swarming in a massive black mass what looked like some km's above. "Guys... do you see that?" he asked getting concerned. S and A could not see anything and suggested M was tripping very hard. M looked away from the sky and it stopped. M was happy that A and S confirmed it was what M had taken that was doing that and thought he would look up again and see what happened. The black birds formed again same pattern, outside circle forming into a huge black mass km's above, it looked nasty, it was blacker than any black M had ever seen, M could imagine the noise it would have made, there appeared to be millions of them in a huge mass, it stopped getting bigger, the dots on the side joined the main dark blob that was morphing high up, it nearly filled the sky now, there was only some light around the edges and then it came shooting down. M didn't want to take his eyes off it as he was scared it would hit him but M kept looking, with all his strength kept looking.
It was coming straight down towards M in what looked like a funnel if you were laying straight under it. M didn't know what this was but could feel it. It was not good whatever it was but M was not scared even though M had never been like this on MDMA (or MDA) before. It all came down in what felt like 0.3 secs, but M was there to watch and feel for a good few minutes. It didn't hit M, it hit A, right in the top of his head and he absorbed it, all of it. M looked at him, A didn't look any different, or as though anything hit him, he smiled and asked M if he was feeling alright. M got it together and all played with the telescope which enhanced the visuals, A and M were spotting giraffes, elephants, wilderbeast, moose and lots of other animals that don't exist in Australia. S was coming down and reflecting on the night. M had a slightly sick feeling in his stomach but thought that was from not eating all night.
Not much else notable to add happened, S couldn't sleep so served as a canoe taxi ride after remembering how to get into one. A drank some beers and eventually went to bed. S and M sat and talked back on the front of the boat about the night. D had gone to bed after a few glasses of wine. This was the last time M was to do this substance again for a couple of years. Again apologies for the length but there were a couple of notable events from that voyage. A few months after that M and D split up, turns out D was cheating on M with A. S went about his business and hasn't experimented since. M doesn't care if you believe this or not but there were a few lessons learned. The group should have changed setting before taking another dose, this is a powerful drug and it can change lives, for the better or the worse, trip sitters are important and the ones who come prepared can make an awesome night amazing, this drug will make you hallucinate in larger doses, but it's not pleasant.
M has to this day always thought there was a link between that black mass and the events that unfolded the next months after. Was it M's subconscious telling him A was not to be trusted, or was it A's or even S's? M had never been suspicious of A before and up to that night (or even after). M has moved on now, forgiven A and D (but doesn't have anything to do with them.). A and D split up and M is happy with his new girlfriend after a few months 'off the rails' after the D split up. Thanks for taking the time in reading this in depth report.
M was only able to operate the camera just after the sun started coming up, he took about 74 pictures of this from the back of the boat....
People;
M (who is SWIM), D (who was M's fiance), A, S and 2 sitters. M, D and A had lots of experience with MDMA, S was doing it for the first time. Age group was 26-36 all fit and healthy.
Set and Setting;
Late March on the river Murray on a 12 berth(?) houseboat spa and deck on the top, beds and large kitchen dining on the bottom. The boat came with a 2 person canoe. The party had traveled two days prior from Renmark heading upstream to the middle of no where with only CB-radio communication. M was close to A and S having being on the same bowling team with them for the previous 5 years. M had got engaged to D a few years before that but she had only known A and S for about 1 year. Things weren't great with M and D at the time. S was not nervous about his first time and M sensed he just wanted to get it over with so he didn't have to do it again. M was concerned that he had been peer pressured but he assured M he was OK with it.
The Report;
S had to find a place to stop on the banks before it got dark (houseboat rules) so S pulled up and tied up to a massive tree on the banks. Everyone had a big meal of pasta and felt pretty good. All had eaten more than they thought they should have so they decided to wait a few hours before the journey. D had brought with her a total of 60 pills, two different kinds 30 of each. D and M had checked out these before so knew what they were and that they were safe. All had a couple of drinks and S had stuck to water to be safe. At about 3 hours after dinner all decided to drop. M, D and A had two each and S had one.
The come up was not easy to remember, it was probably some 30min later. A staggered up to M and told him how much he loved him hysterical laughter erupted, that was the start of the peak for everyone. M and D were stuck on deck chairs squirming to the music unable to get up, S couldn't stop dancing and M found it quite funny watching the sitters trying to keep a very loved up A away from S for what seemed like 10mins or so. The sitters would check in with D and M everything thing was beatiful and D would tell them how much she loved them for the amazing job they were doing looking after A when they were there for S blah blah....
The dancing and carrying on went on for a while as per usual when M and D were able to walk around change music etc they decided they were OK to go again and should soon before it didn't work as well. A had calmed down and D wanted him to fire up again as she found very amusing if not a little annoying. The sitters had stopped A getting in the spa previous to this due to changes in his body temp but decided if he wanted to he could get in now and have his next one in there. S had thought he'd started to come down and wanted another. Now this is where setting plays an important part as the group did not move from the top deck for about 2 hours and they would not move for another two or three.
Over the next period of time which all would agree that nobody knew how long this was it was dark then light. D consumed another 3 pills, M consumed another 6, A consumed another 2 and S consumed another 3. The sitters had done an AMAZING job, they had brought trip toys, pirate stuff, A ended up with an eye-patch and a black rag on his head, M had a toy telescope and D had a toy parrot. They had laid out bottles of water everywhere and had loads of gum and various lollies. Everyone loved the sitters and rightly so. The sitters suggested we don't look at the clock but they thought we were good and were tired and wanted to go to bed. All was good and they had advised to wake them up if 'shit got hectic' and NOT to turn the music down. God bless those sitters.
All decided a walk in nature might be a good idea so went down to the front of the boat where there was a small deck and a bench. Idea was to step off the boat onto land and head north. The party didn't make it to past the comfy looking dining table chairs and decided to sit down to work out just how much they had taken (or probably what was left more importantly) . It was decided to that point in time M had 8, D had 5, S had 4, A had 3 or 4. M suggested to count whats left to work out how much A had but maths was beyond the party. For safety D had got the sitters to hide some of the pills but D couldn't remember how many. S was shocked at how many M had done and was still able to function, sort of. M started the discussion of the most ever done, this was probably the next mistake. A wanted to do more, D had had enough and wanted to have a drink and go to bed. S was (surprisingly) the one who wanted to push the limits.
S discussed (amazingly well) that he was not going to do this again so he wanted to go all out, do 3. D suggested he do 2 and see how he goes, all agreed. A did another 2, S did another 2, M did another 3 and D opened a bottle of wine and became a sitter of sorts and looked after the rest of the pills and suggested we go the other colour since we had pretty much eaten all the one colour all night. The most M had done before this was 12 a few years before and seeing S wanting to push it made him keen to push it too. S had decided 13 was an unlucky number so M should have enough to make it 14. M had another 3 and 1/2 S had another 1/2. A wanted to go back to the top deck and pretend he was a pirate so he was let go. D sat at the dining table drinking wine, she was very tired. It was still dark outside. Time was not important and all decided not to check. M and S sat on the outside deck at the front of the boat.
This change of scenery brought everything on at once for S and M. all that was said for a period of time was 'Jesus' (no disrespect), 'are you OK' and 'are you seeing shit?'. All M could see was about 20-30m in front, everything beyond that was pitch black, except it was not there. This is where it gets hard to explain but it was like M sensed nothing beyond what he could see, nothing there, nothing existed. Jut M and S and a boat, then nothing. M had forgotten or couldn't sense there were people behind him in the boat and what M could see of the trees in the low light coming from the dining room in the boat looked surreal, coloured, he sensed them. S suggested going for a walk in the complete darkness in the middle of no-where 'like this' was probably not a good idea, M advised he didn't even want to try to walk yet. A came back after being bored in the spa alone and sat on the bench with S and M and suggested we go for a walk which brought some laughter.
Now this bit M doesn't care if you believe or not but this is what happened next. All were commenting on how they were getting some pretty intense OEV's especially in the corners of their eyes. M was getting some very obvious OEV's with mainly black shapes forming on the outside of the vision and merging into shapes blocking the centre of the vision. The shapes would form into natural things silhouettes(?) of birds, trees, mountains. Trees did not look like trees but like mosaics or pixels or outlines of morphing shapes (how do you explain this M can't you understand.). At some point while it was still pitch black A said he thought he saw a dog or a sheep or something, it was moving slowly towards us. "Incoming 10 O'clock!" He announced in his whispered Special Ops talk. M and S both looked at the direction and M whispered "That's a fucking sheep man!." S and M agreed but thought it was standing there not moving. A M and S clearly heard a "baaaa." come from it's direction. M jumped, A said 'what the fuck was that?" and S said "I told you it was a sheep."
After some whispered discussion A had convinced M and S to step onshore and try to make contact with the sheep. It was just outside the dim light cast out from the boat but A S and M could all see it and proceeded patrol style without taking their eyes off it. A kept whispering that it may be hurt so approach with caution. Within 10m of the sheep it was still too dark to make out, no one could it's eyes which brought some scary supernatural thoughts to M who froze where he was standing. A was the most concerned with the sheep so got within 5m. He reached out to touch it.... "It's a fucking log!" he said the obvious disappointment in his voice. This brought insane laughter at first and silence soon after when S asked "why did it baa?". This brought M back to reality some and he suggested shit was too weird so to head back to the safety of the boat. All agreed.
As the light came up D had already gone to bed. A, M and S headed to the back of the boat where there was a 2 man canoe, A wanted to sit in the spa and be the lookout with his eye path and the telescope that M couldn't use anymore. S had wanted to go out in the canoe, M had somehow convinced him that they would sink. S found it offensive that M suggested that and proceeded to walk off the back deck into the back end of the canoe. He was standing in he canoe all of 2 seconds before it tipped him out. M jumped in to save him although he didn't need to as S already had his head out of the water laughing hysterically. M and S went upstairs to join A in the spa to warm up. M laid his head back to look at the sky which was a real dark red. A suggested he could see a flock of black birds on the horizon, S said he could hear birds but not see them.
M went into something weird, the OEV's become more intense than the last time and all around the outside of the circle of vision black birds started to fly in a clockwise direction. There were thousands of them, they flew around in circles a bit then started swarming in a massive black mass what looked like some km's above. "Guys... do you see that?" he asked getting concerned. S and A could not see anything and suggested M was tripping very hard. M looked away from the sky and it stopped. M was happy that A and S confirmed it was what M had taken that was doing that and thought he would look up again and see what happened. The black birds formed again same pattern, outside circle forming into a huge black mass km's above, it looked nasty, it was blacker than any black M had ever seen, M could imagine the noise it would have made, there appeared to be millions of them in a huge mass, it stopped getting bigger, the dots on the side joined the main dark blob that was morphing high up, it nearly filled the sky now, there was only some light around the edges and then it came shooting down. M didn't want to take his eyes off it as he was scared it would hit him but M kept looking, with all his strength kept looking.
It was coming straight down towards M in what looked like a funnel if you were laying straight under it. M didn't know what this was but could feel it. It was not good whatever it was but M was not scared even though M had never been like this on MDMA (or MDA) before. It all came down in what felt like 0.3 secs, but M was there to watch and feel for a good few minutes. It didn't hit M, it hit A, right in the top of his head and he absorbed it, all of it. M looked at him, A didn't look any different, or as though anything hit him, he smiled and asked M if he was feeling alright. M got it together and all played with the telescope which enhanced the visuals, A and M were spotting giraffes, elephants, wilderbeast, moose and lots of other animals that don't exist in Australia. S was coming down and reflecting on the night. M had a slightly sick feeling in his stomach but thought that was from not eating all night.
Not much else notable to add happened, S couldn't sleep so served as a canoe taxi ride after remembering how to get into one. A drank some beers and eventually went to bed. S and M sat and talked back on the front of the boat about the night. D had gone to bed after a few glasses of wine. This was the last time M was to do this substance again for a couple of years. Again apologies for the length but there were a couple of notable events from that voyage. A few months after that M and D split up, turns out D was cheating on M with A. S went about his business and hasn't experimented since. M doesn't care if you believe this or not but there were a few lessons learned. The group should have changed setting before taking another dose, this is a powerful drug and it can change lives, for the better or the worse, trip sitters are important and the ones who come prepared can make an awesome night amazing, this drug will make you hallucinate in larger doses, but it's not pleasant.
M has to this day always thought there was a link between that black mass and the events that unfolded the next months after. Was it M's subconscious telling him A was not to be trusted, or was it A's or even S's? M had never been suspicious of A before and up to that night (or even after). M has moved on now, forgiven A and D (but doesn't have anything to do with them.). A and D split up and M is happy with his new girlfriend after a few months 'off the rails' after the D split up. Thanks for taking the time in reading this in depth report.
M was only able to operate the camera just after the sun started coming up, he took about 74 pictures of this from the back of the boat....